G the vampire slayer
by DOCTORMERLOCK
Summary: In an alternate reality where G is a Slayer and was called in Buffy's place, what will happen? A series of one-shots based on the first season of "Buffy" with more to come later.
1. Into the hellmouth

'**G' the vampire slayer**

'G' the Vampire Slayer

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Hell-Mouth

It was late at night in Los Angeles. NCIS OPS centre was closed down and quiet. That is, until someone smashed open a window. In came a young boy and a blonde girl who looked about his age. They came in through the window and walked out to the hall.

"Are you sure this is safe?" asked the girl.

"Relax, no one's here at night," said the boy, "We're perfectly fine."

The girl gasped and turned around so that her back was facing him. "What was that?"

"What?"

"I heard something."

"HELLO?" The boy waited a few seconds. Nothing. "There's no one here."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Good." The girl turned back to face him. Her eyes had turned golden, she had grown fangs, and her face was…distorted. She hissed and bit deep into his neck. They both dropped to the ground, the boy slowly losing all his blood and dying. The building was empty, so no one could hear his screams.

The next morning, just before work, Sam Hanna was in his car, driving through a crowd of people next to the busy Los Angeles beach. "Excuse me!" he shouted to the people who surrounded him like bowling pins, "Coming through! Watch yourself!" As he made his way through the crowd, a new guy he had never seen before exited his apartment building and got into his car. "Who…?" Sam got so caught up in staring at him as he drove off that he nearly ran into his partner, Kensi Blyle.

"SAM!" Kensi shouted, dodging out of the way as Sam's car narrowly misses her.

"Are you OK?" asked Sam, stopping the car and rolling down the window.

"Yeah, I'm fine," said Kensi, standing up and dusting off her clothes.

"Thanks, Kens." Said Sam, getting out of his car.

Sam's and Kensi's partner and friend, Eric, came up. "Hey, have you met the new guy yet?"

"New guy?" said Kensi.

"Yeah, he's our new agent" replied Eric

"Didn't know we were expecting a newbie" said Sam, looking puzzled.

"Obviously, Hetty hasn't told you yet, so we better get to OPS" said Eric.

The three pile into Sam's car and drive towards the NCIS OPS Centre

"So, Mr…" Hetty said to the new guy. The 2 of them were sitting in her office.

"G. G Callen."

"Right, Mr Callen," said Hetty, "From Europe. Quite some move. Anyway, good skills, interesting record…" She then took the pages in his permanent record and tore them in half. "Welcome to NCIS! A clean slate, Mr Callen, is what I intend for you to get here. What's past is past. We're not interested in…" She grabbed one of the pieces of paper from her records and read it. "Ah."

"Mrs Lange…"

"Mr Callen feel free to call me 'Hetty'."

"Hetty.."

"That's better"

"I know my record is a little…colourful."

"It says here that you burned down the gym at your high school."

"I know, but in my defence, that gym was full of Vamp…" He caught himself. "I mean, it, uh…uh…"

"Don't worry about it. You're not here to be judged. You're here to protect our country"

G left Hetty's office. He was nervous about his first day and he really didn't want to screw this up.

He looked to the door as Sam, Kensi and Eric walked in. Sam and Kensi walked up to G as Eric runs up the stairs to the OPS main computer room.

"Hey," G said when she saw them, "I'm G, G Callen. I'm new here."

"Hi," said Kensi, "I'm Kensi Blyle and this is my partner, Sam."

"Hi" said Sam, turning around and walking away.

"Sorry about him, he doesn't like new people" said Kensi, apologetically

"It's ok" replied G, smiling " But can I ask you, how do you get to Director Grangers office?"

"Go down the corridor and take the second turning on your left."

"Thanks. Kensi wasn't it"

G turns around and heads down the corridor. Just as he turned the corner, he ran into Sam. "I am so sorry!" he said, getting up from the ground and noticing that his bag had come undone and he had dropped all his stuff on the floor.

"That's OK, I wasn't looking where I was going," said Sam.

"Well, neither was I," said G, getting down on the floor to pick up his stuff.

"Need some help?" asked Sam.

"No thanks," said G, picking up his phone and getting up from the floor, "I'm good."

He nodded and walked off. Sam then noticed that he had left one of his things on the floor. "Oh, hey, you forgot your…stake?" He picked up the pointy, wooden stick and walked off in the other direction to look for Kensi and tell her what had happened.

G came to the library. He opened the door to see a clean, open area and a neat tidy desk. "Hello?" He called out, listening to the echo in hopes that Owen might show up, "Is anybody here?" He walked over to the desk. He turned around and saw a tall man standing behind him. He almost jumped in shock, but managed to retain his composure long enough to breathe.

"Can I help you?" asked Owen, sitting behind his desk.

"Yeah, I'm G Callen. I'm new and I was told you were to tell me about what happens here."

"No problem. I'm Assistant Director Owen Granger"

"I figured as much. First of all, I need…"

"Oh, don't bother. I know what you need." Mr Granger ducked down behind the desk and came up with a book. He laid it on the desk and he saw that it was simply an old book with "Vampyr" written in golden printing on the front cover.

"That's not what I need," said G, backing up from the desks slightly.

"Really?" Mr Granger took the book back. "My mistake." He ducked back under the desk to put it back. "So, what was it you…" He got back up and saw that he had already left.

G came into the main room and saw Kensi sitting alone at her desk. He went over to her. "Hi."

"Hi" Kensi put down her fork.

Sam and Eric came up then. "Hey, Kens!" They then noticed G.

"G, this is Eric," Kensi introduced him to G, "Eric, this is"

"G Callen."

"Yeah, and that reminds me…" Sam got the stake out of his bag. "…I think this is yours." G quickly took it back. "The only thing I can think of is that you're building a really little fence."

G faked a laugh. "It's, uh…for self-defence."

"I'll try to remember that," said Eric, sitting down next to Kensi.

Hetty walks up "There's been a murder"

"There's a dead guy? Where?" Sam asked.

"Yes," said Hetty, "There was a body found in the training room."

"Where there any marks?" G asked, "Do we know how they died?"

"No, noth..."

G gathered up his stuff. "I have to go." He left.

"What is up with Mr Callen?" asked Hetty.

Sam, Kensi, and Eric all shrugged.

G came into Grangers office. Owen was filing through paperwork. "OK, what's going on?"

"What?"

"You did hear about the dead guy that was murdered, right?" G asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"Yes…"

"Funny thing, all his blood was drained…through 2 little holes in his neck."

Owen groaned and put down the paperwork. "I was afraid of this."

"Well, _I_ wasn't!" G complained, "It's my first day! What _I_ was afraid of was that I'd be doing terribly in my work! Now I have to deal with some Vampires?"

"Wait, then why did you come all the way here from Europe?"

"To make a new start. Plus, I kind of wanted to be an agent and I've finally got what I wanted. I can't be dealing with a bunch of blood-suckers who are just waiting for me to come out and slay them!"

"Will the boy rise again?"

"No, he's just dead. To make you a Vampire, they have to suck your blood. Then _you_ have to drink some of _their_ blood. Blah, blah, blah, it's just one whole big suck-fest. One that I don't want to have anything to do with so, good day."

"Mr Callen…"

"I said 'good day', Granger! Why should I be the one to deal with this?"

"Because you are the Vampire Slayer. In every generation, there is born one girl or boy, a Chosen One, and she or he alone will have the strength to fight…"

"To fight the Vampires, vanquish all evil, and save the day. Whoo-hoo! If it's so easy, why don't you do it and let me have my half-normal life?"

"I'm a Watcher. A Slayer slays, a Watcher…"

"Watches?"

"Yes. No! A Watcher trains and prepares him or her."

"For what? Leading the lives of the people closest to me into chaos? Allowing countless people to get hurt or even die and know I'm the one to blame for it? Getting kicked out of my job and my school? Go ahead, prepare me." Owen said nothing. G walked out of the office and Owen followed her. Neither of them noticed Sam around the corner, listening to the whole conversation.

Owen had cornered G in the corridor. "I don't understand why you have this…attitude. You've already accepted your duty. You faced the Vampires before. It's getting worse."

"What is?"

"The influx of the dead. I fear that a very dark power may be arising here."

"This is Los Angeles. What kind of 'danger of the dead' could be arising here?"

In a very dark cavern underneath their very feet, a bunch of candles were lit. A Vampire stood in the centre of the cavern. "The sleeper will awake…the sleeper will awake…the sleeper will awake, and the world will bleed."

G was in his room, getting changed. The guys at work had told him about a cool club in town called the Bronze and he was getting ready to go check it out. He finished getting ready and got into his car and left.

G got out of him car about a block away from the club. He started to walk down the street to the Bronze, but he heard something.

A tall man in a leather coat came out of a nearby alleyway. When he looked around the street, G was gone. Just as he was about to leave, G jumped out of nowhere and landed on him. G got up and pinned him to the ground with his foot on his stomach. "Is there a problem, mate?"

"Yeah, there's a problem! What are you doing?"

"I know what you're thinking. I don't bite."

G backed off and let him stand up. "What do you want?"

"The same thing you do."

"And that would be…"

"To kill them. To kill them all."

G imitated a buzzer. "Wrong answer. But you do get a fabulous $10 as a consolation prize. What I want is to be left alone!" He started to walk off.

"It's not that easy to get around it. You're standing at the Mouth of Hell and it's about to open." He turned around to face him. He took a small box out of his pocket. "You can't turn your back on this, you've gotta be ready." He tossed the box to her and he caught it perfectly.

"For what?"

"For the Harvest."

"And who are you again?"

"A friend." He walked off.

G opened the box and saw a chain with a silver cross. He pulled it out and put the box in his pocket, putting the chain around his neck.

G came into the Bronze and caught sight of Kensi at the bar. He went over to her. "Hey!"

Kensi turned to face her. "Hi!"

G sat down on the stool next to her. "Are you here with someone?"

"No, I thought that Sam might show up."

"Well, you can't just keep waiting for one guy to come around. He may not feel the same way and he may not be the right guy. My motto? 'Life is short. Seize the moment, because tomorrow you might be dead.'"

"That's good advice."

G smiled and then caught sight of Owen on the upper level. "I'll be right back." He got up and went up the stairs to him. What are you doing here? Partying?"

"Oh, right, this is me having fun," said Owen, "I'd rather be at home with a good book and a cup of tea."

"Is that what you do every night? You need a personality, stat!"

"This is a perfect breeding ground for Vampires. Dark, crowded…you need to be ready to face them."

"I know, the Harvest is coming. Your friend told me."

"What?"

"The Harvest? Does that mean something to you? 'Cause I'm drawing a blank."

"I don't know…Who told you this?"

"I don't know. Some guy. I figured you knew him."

"No, I don't believe I do.…The Harvest…did he say anything else?"

"Something about the Mouth of Hell."

Giles looked down at the kids that crowded the whole building. "Look at them. Completely unaware of the danger that surrounds them."

"Lucky them."

"Or, perhaps you're right. Perhaps, there is no real danger and the signs are wrong. It's not like you've been having the nightmares."

"'Nightmares'? What nightmares?"

"The Slayer nightmares that warn you and other Slayers of coming danger. It's not rare, you know."

G was silent for a few minutes before changing the subject. "I didn't say I'd never slay another Vampire. It's not like I suddenly like them. I'm just not going to get obsessed with it."

"Will you be ready? There's more to them then you know. A Vampire appears to be completely normal until it's time for them to feed. But a Slayer should be able to see them anyway, without looking and without even thinking. Can you tell if there is a Vampire in the building?"

"Uh…" G searched frantically for someone who seemed like a Vampire to him.

"Just concentrate. Hone in on their-"

"There's one." G pointed at a guy in the crowd.

"Where?"

"Talking to that girl. I mean, look at his jacket! He's got the sleeves rolled up…and his shirt! I mean, deal with the outfit for a moment!"

"Well, yes, but you didn't…hone."

"Uh oh."

"What?"

"That girl he's talking to is Kensi!"

Owen took a closer look and realized that, indeed, the girl that the guy was talking to was none other than Kensi Blye. "What's she doing?"

"Seizing the moment." G ran down to help her. When he got down there, Kensi and the guy were already gone. He went outside and looked around. He got out his stake. When he heard movement in the door next to where he was standing, he quickly turned around and held the stake up as a threat. Only after the girl yelped in surprise and pinned herself to the wall did he realize that it was nobody.

"What is your problem?" G quickly left.

G came back to the door that led into the Bronze and met Owen there.

"Wow that was quick. I need to go my office and research on that Harvest thing…"

"I didn't find them." G stuffed the stake back in his pocket.

"The Vampire is not dead?"

"No, but my social life is going down the tubes." He imitated a toilet flushing to make his point.

"So what do we do?"

"I don't know…maybe it wasn't a Vampire. Maybe I was wrong."

"Maybe. Do you need me to come with you?"

"Don't worry. One Vampire? I can handle it." He left and Owen left as well.

Just behind them, Eric was talking to a girl. "So, what's your name?"

The girl turned around to reveal herself as the Vampire that had attacked that boy the night before. "Darla."

"You know, I haven't seen you around here before."

"I have family here."

"Have I met them?"

"You probably will."

The Vampire was still in the caverns. An alpha Vamp appeared in front of him. "Master!"

"I am weak."

"'In the Harvest, he shall be restored.'"

"The Harvest…"

"We're almost there. Soon, you will be free."

"I must be ready. I need my strength."

"I've sent servants to bring you food."

"Good. Luke?"

"Yes, Master?"

"Bring in something…young."

Kensi was walking down a dark street next to a cemetery with the guy she had met in the Bronze. "Sure is dark."

"It's night."

"Well, night is dark." She looked around and saw that he was headed into the cemetery. "Uh, isn't the park the other way?"

"I know a shortcut."

Kensi sighed and followed him.

Outside the Bronze, G was still looking for Kensi.

Sam came up behind him. "Hey." G turned to face him. "Are you leaving?"

"I'm looking for Kensi. She left with a guy."

"Wow, I hope he's not a Vampire. 'Cause then you'd have to slay him."

G groaned in anger. "Isn't there a single person on this earth that doesn't know I'm the Slayer? Was there, like, a work bulletin? 'Hey, everybody! The new guy, G Callen, is a Vampire Slayer. Treat him with respect.'"

"What about Kensi?"

G caught herself. "Right. Where do you think they could have gone? If we don't find her, there's going to be another dead body in the morning!"

Kensi and the guy she was with came into the mausoleum.

"Ever been in one of these?" asked the guy.

"No," said Kensi, "Shouldn't we be going to the park?"

"Come on," said the guy, brushing her hair away from her neck, "What are you afraid of?" He started to move in on her neck.

"OK, just stop it! I barely know you!" Kensi sighed. "I'm just gonna go."

"Is that what you think?"

Before Kensi could ask him what he meant, Darla came in and blocked the entrance. She scoffed and turned to the guy. "Is this the best you could do, Thomas?"

"She's fresh!"

"And hardly enough to share."

"Then why didn't you bring your own?"

Darla smiled. "I did."

Eric stumbled into the mausoleum. He was weak from blood loss and holding onto his neck.

"Eric!" Kensi went up to him and helped him stand up.

"I got hungry on the way," Darla explained.

"Eric, we have to get out of here," Kensi said.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere," said Darla, "Not until…" She turned into her Vampire form. "…we've fed."

Kensi screamed, letting Eric fall to the ground and then stumbled over him and fell down next to him.

"Well, this is nice."

Darla turned around and saw G and Sam in the entrance.

"It's a little barren and rusty," said G, "But a couple splashes of paint, a few throw pillows, and you can call it home!"

"Who are you?" asked Darla.

"You mean, there's actually somewhat who doesn't know already?" asked G, sighing in relief, "That's a relief. You know, having a secret identity in this town is terribly difficult."

"Uh, G, isn't now the time where we run?" asked Sam.

"Not yet," said Thomas. He vamped out as well.

"OK, we can do this the hard way or…actually, there's just the hard way."

"I'm OK with that," said Darla.

"Really? Are you sure? 'Cause we're talking violence, strong language, adult content…" Darla attempted to kick her, but he dodged it easily. "Nice try. My turn!" The fighting began.

While G was battling with Darla and Thomas, Sam helped Kensi and Eric up and started to lead them out of the mausoleum.

"Now," said G, taking out his stake, "first things first…" He pierced Thomas' heart and he turned to dust. "…Vampires die." Darla came up behind him and she started to fight with him.

Sam, Kensi, and Eric had gotten out of the mausoleum and were about to leave the cemetery, but they found themselves surrounded by Vampires.

G knocked Darla to the ground. "You know, I just wanted to start over and be like everybody. Get some new friends, maybe a dog…"

"Who are you?"

"Don't you know?"

At that moment, Luke came up behind her and grabbed him by the neck. "I don't care!" He threw him into the wall on the other side of the mausoleum. "You were supposed to bring an offering for the Master!"

"We had offerings, but he came along and they got away. She killed Thomas!"

"Enough, Darla. Go. I'll handle him." Darla left. "You may be strong…" He punched him and he went flying into the other wall. "…but I'm stronger." He punched him again. "You're wasting my time!"

"Hey, I had other plans, too, alright?" He kicked him and got nothing but a pain in his knee, ankle, and toes.

He took advantage of his weak moment and launched him into the coffin in the centre of the mausoleum. "You think you can stop me? Stop us?" He got in the coffin on top of him and pinned him down. "You have no idea what you're dealing with." He moved in on his neck to take the bite.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	2. The Harvest

**G the vampire slayer**

The Harvest

Luke leaned in for the bite, but he suddenly backed off, crying out in pain. G was wearing his silver cross necklace and he had touched it. He took advantage of his weak moment and knocked him back, out of the coffin. He ran out of the mausoleum and saw Kensi being attacked by a Vampire.

"Get him off me!" Kensi screamed.

The Vampire leaned in for the bite, but G pulled him away and punched him in the face, knocking him back long enough to get Kensi away and save Sam. When all the Vampires were gone, Kensi and Sam looked around for Eric.

"Where is he?" Kensi asked.

"I don't know," said Sam, "They had me surrounded. I think I saw some guys take him off."

"Which way?" asked G.

"I don't know," said Sam.

"Eric…" Kensi was frightened by the thought of what could happen to him…what could be happening to him at that moment.

G, Sam, and Kensi met Owen in his office.

"This world is older than any of you know," said Owen, "Untold eons of demons have walked the earth since before 'Adam and Eve' came into existence and made it their home. They lost control and made way for the mortals to come in. All that remains of the original world are certain magic's…"

"And Vampires," G finished.

"OK, this is where I have a problem," said Sam, "We're having a talk about Vampires."

"Well, isn't that what we saw last night?" asked Kensi.

"Oh, no," said G, sarcastically, "No, those weren't Vampires; those were just guys in terrible need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies. And that guy turning to dust? Probably just a…trick of the light." Sam gave him a look and Kensi stared at him, confused. "That's what I told myself the first time I saw a Vampire…well, after I was done screaming."

"OK, now I need to sit down," said Kensi.

"Uh, you are sitting," said G.

"Oh, yay, good for me."

"So, Vampires are demons?" Sam asked.

"The books say that the last demon to leave this reality fed off a human and mixed their blood," Owen explained, "He was still in human form, but he was possessed, infected by the demon's soul. He bit another and they bit another and so they walk the earth, feeding. Some they just kill, some they mix blood with and transform into more of their kind. They are, in essence, waiting for the 'animals' to die out and the old kind to take over."

In the cavern in the sewers, Darla and Luke were forcing Eric into the Master's lair. They finally reached the Master.

"Is this for me?" he asked.

"An offering, Master," Luke answered.

"He's a good one!" Darla said, "His blood is pure!"

"You've tasted." Darla looked at her feet, ashamed of her actions. "I am your faithful dog. You bring me scraps."

"I…I didn't mean to…" Darla protested.

"I have waited," said the Master, "For 3 score years, I've waited. While you come and go, I'm stuck here. My ascension is almost at hand. You better pray that when it comes…" He took Darla's neck. "…I'm in a better mood."

"There was a boy, Master," said Luke, "He fought well and knew of our breed. Do you think he might be…"

"A Slayer!"

"And what would that be?" asked Sam.

"For as long as there have been Vampires," Granger explained, "there has been a Chosen One. One girl or boy in all of the world with the strength to fight the Vampires."

"He loves doing this part," G groaned.

"Alright, I'll give you the short version," said Owen, "The Slayer hunts Vampires, G is a Slayer, don't tell anyone."

"So, how do you kill them?" asked Kensi.

"Oh, you don't, I do," G corrected, getting up from his chair.

"Hey, Eric's my-" Sam started.

"Eric is my responsibility," G added, "I let him get taken."

"That's not true!" Sam protested.

"If you hadn't shown up, they would have taken us, too!" Kensi argued. She then thought about what she had just said. "Does anyone mind if I pass out?"

"Breathe," Sam said. Kensi whimpered. "Breathe."

Kensi took a deep breath. "OK. Feeling better now."

G turned to Owen. "This big guy, Luke…he talked about an 'offering to the Master'. Now, I don't know what or who he was talking about, but if they weren't just plain feeding, Eric may still be alive and I'm gonna find him."

"Uh, this may be a dumb question," Kensi said, "but shouldn't we call the police?"

"And they'd believe us?" asked Sam.

"Well, we don't have to say 'Vampires'," said Kensi, "We can just say that there was a…bad man."

"They couldn't handle it even if they did show up," objected G, "They'd only come out with guns."

"And you have no idea where they took Eric?" asked Owen.

"No," G said, "I just looked around and they were clear of the graveyard. They must have…_VROOM!_"

"They can fly?" Sam said, amazed.

"They can drive," G corrected, crankily.

"Oh."

"I don't remember hearing a car," said Kensi.

"Then maybe they went underground," Granger suggested.

"Vampires really jam on sewer systems," said G, "That's how they get around when the sun's out. But I didn't see any access in the graveyard."

"Well, there's an electrical tunnel that runs through the whole town," said Kensi.

"If we had a…diagnostic of the tunnel system," Granger said, "it might indicate a meeting place.

"We so don't have time to go looking for that," said G.

"Uh, guys?" Kensi said, "There may be another way."

"So there is a new Slayer," the Master said, "Have you any proof?"

"Only that he fought well," said Luke, "He fought me and yet lives."

"I'd say that's enough proof," said the Master, "He must not interfere with the Harvest.

"I will never let that happen!" Luke objected.

"Don't worry, Luke," said the Master, "We have something he wants. He'll come to us. If he is a Slayer, then he'll come looking for this boy."

"Congratulations, boy," said Luke, grabbing Eric by the neck, "I thought of you nothing but a meal. But you've just been upgraded to bait." He gave Eric to the Master.

G, Owen, and Sam surrounded Kensi as she pulled up a schematic of the town's tunnel system on a computer in the library.

"There it is," said G, "It runs right under the graveyard. But I don't see any access."

"Wait, these city plans are just open to the public?" Owen asked.

"Uh…actually, I kind of stumbled on them when I…accidentally decrypted the city council security system," Kensi explained.

"Well, there's nothing here," said G, "It's useless." He sat down in a huff.

"I think you're being a bit hard on yourself," said Owen.

"You're the one who told me that I wasn't prepared for this," said G, "Understatement of the century! I thought I was about to win. I had that Darla girl cornered, but then that monster named Luke just came out of nowhere and attacked…me…He didn't come out of nowhere. I was facing the entrance and he came up behind me and then didn't follow me out! The entrance to the sewer system is in the mausoleum! Darla must have taken Eric and doubled back while I was getting you guys away from the Vampires." He groaned in frustration. "I am so stupid!"

"So what's the plan?" asked Sam, "We go after them and bust him out?"

"There's the 'we' again," G said, "what's with the 'we'? 'Me' is the Slayer and 'me' is going to save Eric. This is too dangerous for you guys."

"Well, then you can help me," Owen suggested, "I've been researching the Harvest and it's something of a blood massacre. But I'm still fuzzy on the details. Can Kensi here research it for me on the…'net?"

"I can do that," said Kensi, beginning to type furiously.

"In the meantime," G said, grabbing his bag, "I'm going off to save Eric."

"Do I have to tell you to be careful?" asked Granger. G gave him a look and left.

G snuck up to the gate that led off the building.

"We're not leaving work early, are we?"

G turned around and saw Hetty. "Hetty! No, of course, I'm not. I'm just…admiring the fence. That is some quality fence-work."

"Good," said Hetty, "Because if you were going off early, after being kicked out of your last job for delinquent behaviour…Do you see where I'm going with this?"

"Uh, Mr Granger, wanted me to get some rest because he has a hard task for me later," G said, quickly thinking up an excuse, "Just ask him. He'll back me up."

"Well, maybe that's what you were told, but you can't leave until I check with Mr Granger." She closed the gate and locked it. "Got it?"

G groaned. "Got it." Hetty left. "Does the fate of the world and the life of another student qualify as a reason to leave and slay some Vampires?" He shook his head in disgust and rolled his eyes. When he was sure she was gone, he snuck down the fence a ways and climbed over it, jumping onto the other side.

G came to the mausoleum and found the entrance to the sewer system. It was locked and blocked off with chains. He groaned and started to wrestle with it. He heard someone come up behind him and turned around to see the girl who had annoyed him in the alleyway the night before. "Hi. I don't suppose you would happen to have key, do you?"

"They really don't like me dropping in."

"I wonder why."

"I did expect you to figure out the entryway sooner or later, but I expected it to be a little sooner."

"Sorry to keep you waiting. You know, if you're going to be popping up on a regular basis will this 'Cryptic Wise Girl' act, could you at least tell me your name?"

"Nell."

"Nell. Nice name. So, tunnels."

"You probably shouldn't go down there."

G rolled his eyes again. "I have a friend down there, Nell," he said, saying his name as though he was disgusted to mention it, "Or at least a potential friend. Deal with my going."

"The Harvest is tonight. Unless you can prevent it, the Master walks."

"Then why don't you stop it?"

Nell hesitated. "I'm afraid." G rolled his eyes again and turned back to the tunnel. "They'll be expecting you."

"And I them." He kicked the doors open. "Do you even know what it's like to have a friend?"

She looked down, somewhat sad. "When you get to the tunnels, head east toward the school. You'll most likely find them there."

"Aren't you gonna wish me luck?" Both of them were silent. G finally went into the tunnels.

"Good luck," she whispered as he left, turning around and leaving.

G finally came to the tunnels.

"You see anything yet?"

He turned around in shock. "You scared me, Sam! What are you doing here?"

"Being stupid," Sam said, coming up so that he was standing next to him, "I followed you. I couldn't just wait there in the library and do nothing. Eric's my friend and I am going to save him whether you like it or not."

G finally gave in, nodded, and led him down some stairs.

"So, sunlight, garlic, stake to the heart," said Sam, "Did I miss anything?"

"That'll do it," said G, "Add in some holy water, crosses, beheading, and fire."

"Good, 'cause I actually didn't think about what I was doing ahead of time and forgot to pick up those things," said Sam, getting out a flashlight, "All I have is this." He turned it on.

"Turn that off!" G hissed. He quickly did. "Take this." He gave him a cross, which he quickly took.

"So, you've done some beheading in your time?"

G laughed slightly. "Yeah. There was this guy that played left tackle for the junior varsity…or at least he did before he started to drink blood. Anyway, he got me cornered and all I had was a knife and…yeah, you're not loving this story."

"Actually, I find it strangely comforting."

G smiled and came to the bottom of the stairs. Suddenly, she stopped smiling. "They're close."

"How can you tell?" asked Sam.

"I just know."

Sam turned on his flashlight and looked around, spotting Eric on the ground. "Eric!"

Eric got up. "Sam!"

"Are you OK?" Sam asked.

"No, we have to get out of here!"

"It's OK, G's a…superhero."

G took the flashlight and saw Eric's shackles. "Hold on…" he gave Sam back the flashlight and broke the shackles. What he wasn't counting on was the loud noise that came from his actions. "Do you think they heard that?"

A bunch of Vampires started to surround them. "Yeah, I think they did," said Sam.

"They knew you were coming," said Eric, "They said I was the bait."

"Oh, sure, now you tell us!" G complained, starting to look for a way out of the tunnel. They rounded a corner and were met by some more Vampires. "Is there another way out?"

"I know," said Eric, "They brought me through here! Come on!" He led them down another intersection and up some stairs, into an empty room.

"I don't think this is the way out, Eric," G said, "What do we do now?"

"Um… we must have taken a wrong turning."

"Oh no," G said, running and closing the door.

Sam and Eric went over to G and helped him close the door to the chamber, locking out the Vampires. "We have to get out of here!" Sam said, closing the latch.

"There is no out of here!" G complained.

Sam shined the light on the ceiling and saw a grate. "Up there!"

G took a barrel from the side of the room and put it up to the wall. He got up on it and jumped up, catching hold of the grate and opening it. He used one hand to hold onto the road above them and used his other hand to pull Sam and Eric up. He pulled them up and got out of the grate. Just as he was about to pull him up, the door to the chamber opened and the Vampires swarmed around his feet. "Sam!" He grabbed his hand and pulled him up. The Vampires were pulling him in the other direction, but he was able to wrestle them off of him, close the grate, and run off, taking Oliver and Eric with her.

In Owens office, Owen was looking through a bunch of books. He heard the door open. "G?" he asked, hopefully.

"It's just me," Kensi said, putting some papers onto the table, "He's not back yet?"

"No, I'm afraid not," Owen said, "Did you find anything?"

"I surfed through some old newspapers from '48 and found that there was rash of murders for several months. It was the same case every time, their throats cut open and all their blood drained. It's all coming together."

"I wish it weren't."

Down in the Master's lair, one of the Vampires was standing in front of the Master and Luke and Darla were waiting nearby. "He escaped? I should be drinking his blood right now and instead you're here telling me that he escaped? I'm tired of you failing me." He turned to Luke. "It's time." He took a sword and started to engrave a symbol in Luke's chest. "My blood is your blood. My soul is your soul."

"My body is your instrument," Luke said.

"On this most hallowed night, the Harvest shall begin. Luke is the vessel!"

Sam and G came into the library.

"Did you find Eric?" Kensi asked them, hopefully.

"Oh, yeah, we found him" said Sam, pulling Eric in.

"Eric, you're alive!" Kensi said, almost crying.

"Yeah," Eric answered, "I'm fine." Sam went over to the table. "STUPID VAMPIRES!." Sam violently kicked a chair.

G came up to Owen. "So, got anything to make this day any worse?"

"How about the end of the world?"

"Knew I could count on you."

"This town is a very mystical place. 60 years ago, almost right down to the day, a very old and powerful Vampire came ashore. Not just to feed, but to open the Hell-Mouth, a sort of portal between this reality and the next. The…Master hopes to open it."

"To bring the demons back, hence the end of the world," said G.

"But he blew it!" Kensi said, excitedly, "There was an earthquake. It swallowed half the town, including him."

"Odds are, he got himself stuck in the Hell-Mouth," Granger said.

"And this Harvest thing is going to bring him out," Sam guessed.

"It comes once a century and tonight, the Master will draw power from one his minions while he feeds, the Vessel." Granger went over to the whiteboard on the stair railing and drew a 3-pointed star. "He bears this symbol."

"So I dust anyone wearing that symbol, and _boom_. Apocalypse, _not_ now."

"Essentially, yes."

"So where are they going?" asked G.

"They're going to the Bronze," Sam said, more of a statement than a suggestion.

"Are you sure about that?" asked Kensi.

"Come on, all those tasty, young morsels?" Sam said,

"Alright," said G, "you guys go on without me and hold down the fort until sundown. Eric go to a hospital and try to explain what happened without using the word Vampire. I need to make a stop on the way there."

"What for?" asked Owen.

"Supplies."

G took a trunk out from under his bed. He undid the latch and slowly opened it. Inside was a bunch of stakes, some garlic, a few crosses, and a couple bottles of holy water. He heard a knock at the door and quickly closed her box and pushed it back under her bed. "Come in!" Nell came in. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help."

"Why," G said, getting his trunk back out.

"Because you need me."

"I'd like to test that theory," G said, stuffing some crosses and garlic in his jacket and putting a bottle of holy water in his jeans pocket, "Some seriously dangerous alpha Vamp is rising tonight and I need to stop him, alone."

"Or what? It's the end of the world?"

"Good guess."

"I'm here to help you to this from happening and you really don't know how much you need me."

"I don't," said G, "Get out"

"Slayer!" Nell said.

"GO!"

G took out 2 of his stakes and put each one up a different sleeve in his jacket. He then grabbed his bag, went out to the balcony, closed his window and jumped into the sand below, running off to the Bronze to meet up with his friends and stop the Harvest.

Inside the Bronze, everyone was dancing to the music. Suddenly, the music stopped. They looked and saw Luke on the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, no cause for alarm," Luke said, "Actually, there is cause for alarm it just won't do any good." Another Vampire came up with the first victim. "This is a glorious night! It's also the last any of you will ever see!" Luke grabbed the boy by the neck. "Watch me. Fear is like an elixir. A lot like blood." He bit deep into the boy's neck, draining all his blood. Down in the cave, the Master could feel his energy increasing. Luke dropped the dead boy on the floor. "Next!"

G and the gang came up to the door that led into the Bronze. It was locked. "We're too late!"

"Can't you break it down?" asked Sam.

G shook his head. "No. Uh…try the back entrance, I'll find my own way in. But, before you go…" G handed his bag to Kensi. "Clear the entrance. Get as many people out as you can.

"See you inside," Kensi said as she, Sam, and Owen headed to the back entrance. He tried to open the door. "It's locked, too!"

"We've got to get in there" Sam said.

Down in the cave, the Master began to grow stronger and stronger. "Give me more!"

G broke a window on the upper level and went over to see what was going on down below. He saw Luke on the stage, feeding. "The Vessel…"

"Tonight is his ascension!" Luke said, "Tonight we will make history…end! Yours is a glorious sacrifice! What? No volunteers?"

Darla pushed a girl onto the stage. "Here's a pretty one!"

Luke took the girl, who screamed when she saw him. Luke started to bite her, but G came onto the stage and kicked him before he could get close enough.

"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" G asked, "Didn't mean to crash the party."

"You!" Luke said.

"Oh, you didn't think I'd miss this, do you?" G took off his jacket. "You want blood?"

"I want yours!" Luke tossed the girl off the stage. "Only yours!"

"Works for me, Vessel Boy." G kicked him. Luke knocked him to the side of the stage. G groaned getting up. " Now, it's personal!"

While G and Luke were fighting, Owen, Kensi, and Sam came in and started leading people out the back.

The girl was running to them, but another vampire grabbed her. She started struggling to get out. "Hold still! You're not making this very easy."

Sam came up, holding a stake. "Hey, you! Don't make me do it…"

Luke knocked G to the floor. "I always wanted to kill a Slayer."

Luke grabbed G and held his arms behind his back. "Master, taste of this and be free!" G kicked him in the face (who knew he was so flexible?) and started to fight him again.

Owen and Kensi were still leading people out the back door.

"We're going to have to open the front, too," said Granger, starting to head in that direction. Before he could get there, Darla jumped onto him from behind and pinned him to the ground.

"Granger!" Kensi took a jar of holy water from G's bag and opened it. "Get away from him!" She poured the water in Darla's face. It burned her and she ran running from the club, screaming.

Sam finally got the stake pointed at the vampire's heart.

"Well, go ahead, do it!" the vampire commanded, One of the kids that was trying to escape, bumped into him, knocking him onto the stake.

Sam shrugged as he turned to dust. "That'll work."

G got the microphone stand from the stage.

Luke laughed. "You forgot. Metal can't hurt me."

"Something you forgot about?" G said, "Sunrise." He launched the microphone stand over his head and smashed a window about 10 feet above the stage. Luke started to cry out and then realized that he wasn't bursting into flames. He looked and saw that the light coming through the window was a street lamp. G stabbed his heart with his stake from behind. "It's in about 9 hours, moron." G took his stake out and watched Luke fall to the ground, turning to dust just before making contact with the floor. The Master could feel Luke's death and knew that the Harvest had failed. The Vampires saw what had happened and ran from his presence in fear.

Outside, Nell was watching the whole thing. "He did it. Wow."

Owen, Kensi, Sam, and G met by the exit.

"Did we win?" asked Kensi, "Is it over?"

"We averted an apocalypse," said G, "I give us points for that."

"Well, one thing's for sure," said Sam, "Nothing's ever gonna be the same."

The next day on the way to work, Sam and G could hear that everyone was coming up with different ideas as to what had happened the night before. The most popular excuse was that the Vampires had been "rival gangs."

"What were you expecting?" G asked Sam.

"I thought we'd be investigating or something," Sam said, getting out of the car and meeting up with, Owen, Kensi and Eric.

"People do have a tendency to rationalize what they can and forget what they can't," Owen said. G, Kensi, Eric and Sam all gave him looks. "Was that a bit British?"

"Welcome to the New World," said G. He groaned. "But, believe me, I've seen stuff like this happen before."

"Well, I'll never forget it," said Kensi, "None of it. It was the best night of my life."

"Good, then you'll be prepared next time," said Owen.

"Next time?" Kensi asked, scared.

"T-There's gonna be a next time?" Sam asked.

"Why is there a next time?" asked G.

"We did prevent the Master from rising, but he will keep trying," Owen said, "We must be ready for it."

"Oh, great, more Vampires," Kensi complained.

"Not just Vampires," said Owen, "The next threat we face may be something quite different. We're at the centre of a mystical convergence here. We, in fact, may stand between the earth and its total destruction."

"Well," said G, "let's look on the bright side. Maybe we can still get kicked out of work!"

"Now, that's a plan," said Sam, as the 3 friends headed off for their next assignment, leaving Owen standing alone in the hall, "Because, you know, a lot of departments aren't on Hell-Mouths."

"Oh, maybe we can blow something up," suggested Kensi, "They're really strict about that."

"I was thinking of something more subtle," Said G, "You know, like, excessive _not_ working."

"The earth is doomed!" Owen said.

**END EPISODE**


	3. Witch

**G the vampire slayer **

Chapter 3: Witch

Owen was in the library with G, pacing. "This is madness!" he ranted, upset, "What can you be thinking? You are the Slayer! Lives depend upon you! I expect a certain amount of responsibility and, instead, you choose to enslave yourself to this…cult?"

G was in a blue and gold Football outfit. "You don't like the colour?" He looked down at his sweater, shorts, and studs. "Come to think of it, it's not a very good combo."

"Do you ignore everything I say? Is that a rule?"

"No, I think that's your thing." He ran over to him. "I told you last week that I'd be trying out for the football team." Owen just gave him a look. "OK, here's the deal. This is something that I like doing"

"You have a sacred birth right, G," Owen said, "You were chosen to destroy Vampires, not to kick balls at people. As your Watcher, I forbid it."

"And you're going to be stopping me how?"

"Well, I…can, uh…by appealing to your common sense if such a creature exists."

G groaned. "I will still have time to 'fight the forces of evil' and 'vanquish the eternal darkness' I just want to have a normal life for like…10 minutes."

That probably wasn't going to happen. In the attic of a house a few blocks away, someone was brewing up some serious trouble (literally, there was a potion in a cauldron). A doll was a shelf. The person came along and took it.

G and his 2 friends, Sam and Kensi, were on the pitch while the boys started practicing for the football tryouts.

"So Granger didn't approve, huh?" asked Kensi.

"Are you kidding?" G said, "He had a cow."

"Is being the slayer really that bad?" Sam asked.

"You don't know the half of it," said G, "And as for Owen, he hasn't seen a Vampire in over a week. I haven't even seen one in 3 days. I'd tell him to get a girlfriend if he wasn't so old."

"Well, we're right behind you," said Kensi, "And remind me why we came to tryouts with you?"

"As support," G said, "Of course, Sam probably came to stare at all the cute girls in the short skirts."

Sam was busy staring at a girl on the other side of the pitch who was trying out for cheerleading.

"SAM!" Kensi shouted.

Sam jumped. "WHAT? Sorry."

The coach, Joy, came up. "OK, listen up, people! We're starting tryouts now. Let's begin with… wannabee Strikers. If you are not trying out, move off the pitch!"

G, Kensi, and Sam sat down in the stands. Kensi caught sight of a friend of hers. "Deeks, hi!"

"Hi, Kensi!" Deeks said, coming over and sitting down next to her.

"I didn't know you wanted to be a footballer," said Kensi, "And, wow, you lost a lot of weight."

"Had to," Deeks said, shrugging.

"Oh, have you met G?" Kensi said, introducing them.

"Hi," Deeks said.

"Hi," said G.

Ember, the girl who Oliver had been watching, started her routine. She was amazing.

The group were watching Ember's routine. They finally couldn't stand it anymore and turned their back on her. They were the only ones who didn't see her hands start to smoke.

"What in the-?" Miley was shocked.

"That girl's on fire!" Lilly said.

Ember's hands caught fire and she dropped her pom-poms on the floor, screaming.

G took down a banner from the wall and used it to bat out the flames. "It's OK. You're gonna be OK. Oh my possum, what happened?"

"You said 'possum'," Kensi said. G gave her a look.

Later in Owens office, G, Kensi, and Sam were sitting at the table and Owen was at the back of the room, looking through some books.

"I have been slaying Vampires for years now," said G, "I've seen some creepy things, but nobody's hands ever got toasted before!"

Owen walked up to them. "Imagine not. I don't think this is a Vampire problem."

"But it is a supernatural thing, right?" Kensi asked.

"I'd say so," Owen said, "Spontaneous human combustion is quite rare, and scientifically unexplainable, but there have been cases of it for hundreds of years. Usually, all that's left is a pile of ashes."

"Well, that's all that would've been left if it weren't for G," Kensi said.

"So we have no idea what caused this," Sam said, "That's comforting."

"But that's the thrill of living on the Hell-Mouth," said Owen, sitting down at the table, "There's veritable cornucopia of fiends and demons to engage." They all gave him a look. "Well, forgive me for seeing the glass as half full."

"Are there any common denominators in cases of…spontaneous combustion?" asked G.

"Rage," Owen answered, "The person who combusted is usually angry or upset."

"Or maybe Ember has the power to make herself light up in flames," suggested Sam, "Like the human torch, expect…it hurts." G and Kensi gave him looks.

G rolled her eyes. "I need to get details on Ember. I need to know if this has happened before." She got up and started to leave.

"This means hacking illegally into the government system," Kensi said, "Finally, something I can do!"

"And I can ask around about her," said Sam.

"I don't want you guys getting involved," said G.

"What're you talking about?" asked Sam, "We're a team."

"Yeah," said Kensi, "You're the Slayer and we're, like, the Slayerettes."

"I just don't like putting you guys in danger," said G.

Sam laughed. "I laugh in the face of danger…then I hide until it goes away."

G groaned and gave in. "OK, OK, just stay off the battlefield until we know more about what's going on. What if Ember's not the one causing the problem?"

"Well, then we've have to determine who or what did it and why," Owen said.

Tryouts restarted the next day. All the auditioning guys were in a line.

"OK," said Joy, "despite what happened yesterday, we still have to pick a new team. If you've made the team, your names will be posted in the quad after lunch."

Deeks clutched his fists tightly. "Why do my hands have to sweat when I get nervous?"

"Don't worry," said G, "You'll do fine."

"GO!" Joy blew her whistle.

The match started. Deeks was the first to try and score a goal…and blew it by tripping over the goal keeper and knocking them both to the ground.

After tryouts, Deeks was admiring the trophies. G came up to him. "That's my dad," Deeks said.

"Really?" G said, looking at the trophy and picture, "'Gordon Deeks.' Wow."

"I know," said Deeks, "His nickname was 'Gordon the Great'. He took that team and made them tri-county champions. No one ever did that before and no one's done it since. He and my mum were Homecoming King and Queen and they got married right after graduation."

"That's so romantic!" G said.

"He was a big loser, never made any money, and ran off with another girl when I was 11."

"That part, less romantic. I never knew my mum or dad"

"That's kind of sad," said Deeks, "Well; my dad left my mom with nothing. She put herself in cosmetology school and bought me everything I ever wanted. And she never once gained a single pound."

"Well, that's really great, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you _have_ to be a Footballer, too."

"He was the best," said Deeks, "And I just play like him. I choked in there! Horribly!"

"It wasn't _that_ bad." He thought about what he'd just said. "That came out wrong."

"I have to go change." Deeks left.

"Deeks, wait!"

Kensi came up. "What's his problem?"

"It's his dad. He was a big football star when he was our age."

"I've heard about his dad. But Deeks's nice. We used to hang in Junior High."

G laughed and smiled. "So, any word on Ember?"

"Nothing thrilling. She's just an average student. She did get detention once, but it was for smoking. Regular smoking, like…with a cigarette. It's all normal."

"So, I guess we just wait and see what happens. Maybe nothing will."

Kensi and Sam were in the squad room.

"I told G about Ember," Kensi said.

"Cool!" Sam said

In the park, Sam took notice of the crowd of guys at the end of the pitch. "Oh, look. They're posting the list!" He raced to the end of the pitch and Kensi followed just after him.

Deeks and G were waiting. A girl ran by them. She was crying because her name wasn't on the cheerleading list.

"I can't take this," said Deeks.

Sam came up. "Cover me. I'm going in." He elbowed his way through the crowd. "Pardon me! Excuse me! Out of the way! Coming through!" He studied the list, looking for their names. The girls and guys in the crowd pushed him back and he collided with Kensi, almost knocking them both over. "Sorry. One of those girls hit me really hard!" He turned to Deeks. "OK, Deeks, not only did you make the team, but you're the first alternate! Deeks looked at the floor, upset. "And what better way to celebrate than-"

"Sam!" Kensi said as Deeks started leave, "Alternates don't make the team! They fill in if someone who did get on the team can't make it!"

"Deeks, wait!" G called after Deeks, going after him.

Sam sighed. "Behold, Sam Hanna, King of the Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow down before me."

G caught up with Deeks. "At least it's over. Maybe we can go do a brownie pig-out. My house, after I've finished work?"

"G, this would never have happened to my Father, ever! I can't do this anymore." He ran off. This time, G didn't follow him.

In the attic, the brew in the cauldron continued to bubble and boil. The person came along and took another doll off the shelf. "Give me power. Give me the dark." They stirred the potion. "I call on you, the laughing gods. Let your blackness crawl beneath my skin." They took a scrunchie from their pocket and wrapped it around the doll. "Accept the sacrifice…of Jacob." They dropped the doll in the cauldron. "Feed on him."

The next day at work, Sam and Kensi were in the squad room when the football team's goalkeeper, Jacob walked by.

"Jacob?" Sam called after him

"Look there's G" said Kensi, pointing to G, who just coming out of the training room and noticing Jacob was crashing into a pole.

"Hey, G," said Sam, "I was wondering-"

"Is that Jacob?" G asked, seeing Jacob crash into the door leading into Hetty's office.

"Uh, actually, I wanted to talk about-"

"I'll be right back." G followed Jacob. Jacob stumbled into Hetty's office.

"Jacob, Are you OK?" asked G

"No, I can't see anything," Jacob said.

"Well, don't worry about-" G turned and saw why Jacob couldn't see anything. His eyes had no irises or pupils, they were entirely white.

"Witchcraft!" Owen figured out later in his office, "Blinding your enemies is a classic Witch prank."

"Great," said Sam, "First Vampires, and now Witches. Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot!"

"But who would want to harm Jacob?" asked Owen.

"Setting Ember's hands on fire?" asked G, "They're both in some way part of the football team."

"Someone doesn't like football?" Owen asked, confused.

"Or likes it too much," said G.

"Deeks!" said Kensi.

"Deeks," G said, "He's desperate to get on the team. I got a feeling that he's trying to make his dad's dream come true."

"Then we have to stop him," said Sam, "We should grab him and-"

"First, we've gotta prove that he's the Witch," said G.

"There's a simple potion in here," said Owen, "All we need is some mercury and nitric acid and a little bit of her hair. 'Heat ingredients and apply to Witch. If a spell has been cast in the last 48 hours, the potion will turn blue on contact.'"

G scoffed. "We can totally do that."

"And you'll need some eye of newt."

The 3 of them were in the chemistry lab.

Sam got out some tweezers and started to attempt to take out the frog's eye. He gave in and put down the frog and the tweezers. Even if it was already dead, it was still disgusting! "I can't."

Kensi took it and did it herself. She carefully took the eye out and put it in with the rest of their ingredients. "Eye of newt. How's G coming with the hairs?"

G sat down next to Deeks on a park bench just outside OPS.

"Hey" G said. Deeks didn't reply. "I'm sorry about the football team" G patted Deeks on the back taking a few strands of hair. He got back up and went inside. He walked over to Kensi and Sam, dropping the hairs in with the rest of the mixture. "All done and set to go." He took the bottle. "Now all I have to do is spill it on him and make it look natural." He slowly walked out and over to Deeks and carefully poured the contents of the bottle onto his arm. The mixture turned blue, but Deeks didn't even notice. He was looking over at a boy that was on the football team. G looked and saw that the boy he was staring at had no mouth.

Sam, G, and Kensi met in the squad room.

"Deeks was as freaked out as the rest of us," said Kensi, "It couldn't have been him."

"But the test was positive," said G, "I think he just doesn't realize what he's doing."

"So should we talk to him?" Sam suggested, questionably.

"Maybe we should talk to his mother," said G, "I wonder if _she_ knows what he's created."

Deeks came into his house. His mother was on a couch in the living room. "Another productive day in front of the TV?" He dropped his bag on the floor and groaned. "I should be on that team by now. Instead, Mr G and his friends are going around taking bits of my hair." "I'll be upstairs." He left the room and went up to the attic.

The next morning, G was in bed. His alarm went off. He put his hand on the desk and searched around for the "snooze" button. When he finally found the clock, his Slayer strength kicked in and he knocked the clock off the table, almost breaking it. "Oops." He got dressed and went down to the kitchen. To her surprise and anger Nell was searching around the fridge

"What are you doing here?" asked G

"I'm hungry" replied Nell

"What? Actually don't tell me just quit following me"

G left.

"One day slayer you will realise that you need me" Shouted Nell

The footballers were practicing. Deeks was playing perfectly well until he stomped on Joy's foot.

"Ow!" Joy complained, "Get it together, Deeks. We have a game in a few hours!"

"Fine" shouts Deeks

G and Kensi watch as Deeks practice.

"I just really can't believe he is a wizard" said Kensi, shaking her head

"oh, I don't feel so good." He fainted.

"G!" Kensi got down on the floor to see how he was doing.

G was on a couch in Owens office with a wet cloth on his head.

"We need to get him to a hospital," Kensi said.

"They can't do anything for him," Granger argued, "This is a bloodstone vengeance spell. It hits you hard and eradicates your immune system."

"So, Deek's trying to get even with G?" Sam asked.

"He's knows I know he's the Witch," said G, weakly, "I'm a threat to him."

"The others he just wants out of the running on the football team," said Owen, "G he wants to…kill."

Kensi and Sam were shocked. "How much time do we have?" Kensi asked, fearfully.

"A couple hours," said Owen, "3 at the most. But we can reverse the spell. In fact, we can reverse all the spells. We just need to find Deek's book. The only other way is to cut Deek's head off."

"It's not Deek's fault," said G, "He only became a Witch to survive his mother." He sat up slightly. "Owen, where could he be casting these spells?"

"He'd need a sacred place and a cauldron…"

"His house," G suggested, "Help me up." Kensi and Sam came over and helped him stand up. "We'll just go to his house and get his book."

"We'll go with you," said Kensi.

"No," Owen quickly objected, taking G in his arms, "You stay here and make sure Deeks doesn't get into any more trouble. We'll go talk to his mother and find his book. And keep him away from the science room. We'll need it to cast the counter-spells." He took G out of the room and headed to Deek's house.

Owen knocked on the door to Deek's house and Deek's mother came and answered it to find him on the porch, helping G stand up. "Mrs Deeks, we need to talk. It's about your son."

"I'm not allow…" Catherine caught herself. "I'm sorry; you have to come back later. She tried to close the door, but Owen held it open.

Owen came in. "Are you alright, G?" He turned around and saw the couch in the living room and set him down on it. "Mrs Deeks, your son is meddling with something very dangerous."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Catherine.

"Oh, I think you know only too well," said Granger.

"You have to go," said Catherine, "He's gonna be home soon."

G then knew something was wrong. He looked at the coffee table and saw a platter of half-eaten brownies.

"Look, your son has access to some very powerful magic's and somehow your obsession with football made him-"

"I don't care about football!" Catherine interrupted, "It's not my fault that he-"

"Are you Deeks?" G asked. He sat up straight when he heard no reply. "He switched your bodies, didn't he?"

Catherine looked at the floor in defeat. "She told me I was wasting my youth…so she took it." She sat on a chair next to the couch and Owen sat on the couch next to G. "I didn't know she was a Witch. When Dad was here, they would fight and yell and he…he would call her a Witch. I thought he meant…When he left, I wanted to go with him, but Mom wouldn't even let me call. She would lock herself upstairs for days at a time and kept yelling at me, saying I didn't what it's like to be her. I guess she showed me, huh? A few months ago, I woke up in her bed. I didn't know where I was…then I looked in the mirror."

"Wait, she locked herself upstairs?" asked Owen. Catherine nodded. "Where, exactly?" Catherine led Granger up to the attic. He broke the door down and went inside, looking around for the book or something that would help.

"Don't!" Catherine objected, "If she finds out I've been here, she'll kill me!"

Owen found 2 dolls that were strapped together. It was undoubtedly for the body-switching spell. "I believe we can reverse your mother's spell. All of them, in fact."

"Really? Oh, thank you."

"Just collect the dolls and find her spell book." They did and went down to check on G.

"Did we find it?" asked G.

"We found it," Owen said, holding up the book. He helped G stand up. "Now we just have to go back to the school and reverse all her spells.

While the game started and Kensi and Sam continued to keep a close watch on Deeks, Owen and Catherine busted into the science lab and laid G down on a table.

"How is he?" asked Catherine.

"We only have a few minutes left," said Granger. He got everything set up and started the spell. "The center is dark. Centrum est obscurus. The darkness breathes. Tenebrae respiratis. The listener hears. Hear me!"

At that moment, Catherine saw through Deek's eyes and Deeks saw through Catherine's. "Oh, it's working!" Catherine said in excitement.

"Unlock the gate," said Owen, "Let the darkness shine. Cover us with holy fear. Show me…"

Back in the gym, Deeks fell on top of Joy.

"What's your problem?" Joy complained.

Deeks shot her a look and got up, running of the field. She headed to the science room, but Kensi stopped him. "Get out of my way, Kensi."

"Wait! I need to talk to you. I can help you!"

"Help me? With what?"

"You know," said Kensi, distracting her so that he wouldn't notice Sam sneaking up behind him, "with all your witchcraft. I have a really good cauldron. Do you actually ride a broom?"

Deeks turned around rapidly and held her hand at Sam, who started choking as she slowly closed his hand into a fist. Sam dropped to the ground.

"Sam!" Kensi went over to help him, giving Deeks passage to the science room, unintentionally.

"Corsheth and Gilail!" Owen continued, "The gate is closed! Receive the dark! Release the unworthy! Take of mine energy and be sated!"

Owen continued down the hall. He took a fire axe out of a glass case on the wall and burst into the science room. Just as he was about to go after G, the spells all reversed with a flash of glowing light. G felt his energy coming back and Deeks felt himself returning to his own body. They both got up and looked at each other.

"G?" Deeks asked.

"Deeks?" G said.

Catherine then lunged at him from the side and knocked him to the ground. Owen was about to go help, but she simply had to look at him to lunge a table into him. She got up from the floor, took the axe, and glared at Deeks. "You little brat. I gave you life. I gave up my life so that you could drag your worthless carcass around and call it living?" She plunged the axe into a lab table. "I don't think so."

G got up behind her. "Guess what?" Catherine turned to face him. "I feel better!" He punched her in the face.

Catherine knocked him into the wall. "I shall look upon my enemy." G quickly searched around for something to help and saw a mirror on the ceiling, being held up by a pole. She turned back to see that Catherine's eyes had become pitch black. "I shall look upon my enemy and the darkness shall have her soul!" G got ready to knock the pole out of the way so that mirror would fall down and block the spell. "Corsheth, take her!" Catherine launched the spell, but G knocked the pole out of the way and the mirror blocked it. Catherine screamed as the spell wrapped around her and she vanished.

Owen got up from the floor. "Well, that was, um…interesting." G helped him up from the floor. "So all the spells were reversed."

"And you saved my life," said G, hugging him, "Thank you."

Sam came rushing in and grabbed Deeks. "I got him! Chop his head off!"

"Sam, what are you doing?" G asked.

"Saving you?" Sam scoffed, "He's evil!"

"Not really," said Deeks, "I was my mom."

Sam looked at him and saw that he was making no attempt to fight back. "Oh." He let go.

Kensi rushed in. "Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, I took care of it," said Sam.

The next morning, Deeks and G were walking across the pitch.

"My dad is _so_ impossible," Deeks said, "He doesn't let me go anywhere! He just wants to spend some 'quality time' with me. Plus, he's really guilty about leaving me with Mom."

"And you're loving it."

"Every single minute." The 2 of them came to the trophy case. "This Saturday, he wants to stay inside and make brownies. Well, actually, the brownies were my idea."

"Well, I'll really miss the intellectual thrill of spell out words with my arms," said Deeks, "Oh, G, I'm sorry. I forgot that you wanted to be on the squad!"

"Don't worry, I'm not big into it anymore," said G, glancing into the trophy case at the football trophy, "So, there's been no sign of her?"

"After that last spell?" Deeks scoffed. "She said I'd never make trouble again, but, wherever she is, I don't think she'll have to worry about it. It's just great to have my body back." The 2 of them started to walk off to class. "I'm thinking of getting fat."

"You know, I hear that look's in for spring."

**END EPISODE**


	4. Teachers Pet

**G the vampire slayer**

Chapter 4: Teacher's Pet

_At the Bronze, G was fighting a Vampire. He punched him in the face, but he took no damage and simply smacked him into a pool table. Someone tapped the vampire on the shoulder. He turned around to see Kensi._

"_Might if I cut in?" Kensi punched him in the face so hard that he hit the wall. She went over to one of the guys playing pool. "Can I borrow this?" She took the cue pole. "Thanks." She stabbed the Vampire in the heart with the pole and it turned to dust._

_G smiled and hugged her. "You saved me!"_

"_Yeah, I did. Are you alright?"_

"_Thanks to you." G stopped hugging her. He looked down and stopped smiling. "Your hand…" He held her hand and saw that it was covered in blood. "Will you still be able to-"_

"_Finish my guitar solo and kiss you like you've never been kissed before? You got it." Kensi jumped up onto the stage. She picked up the guitar and played it. G gazed at her, admiringly._

"_Kensi!" the crowd started chanting, "Kensi! Kensi!"_

"Kensi…KENSI!"

Kensi snapped up in her chair. "What? What happened?"

"You fell asleep again," said Sam, sitting next to her. They were in the squad room.

"Right, uh…sorry, Hetty," Kensi said.

"Where was I?" asked Hetty.

"You were telling us about the murder on 5th street," said Sam.

"Right," said Hetty, "Mrs Blye?" Kensi nodded. "what was the scene like?"

"The scene…" Kensi started, "Uh…" G pretended to stab Sam as soon as she knew Hetty's attention was focused on Kensi. "The victim was stabbed to death…and…" G shook his head and then pointed to his eyes to indicate "no witness", but Kensi didn't get it. "he had no eyes?" G gave her a look.

"I think you mean no witness'," said Hetty, "Is there anything else Mr Callen must tell you?" Director Granger came up to them. "Can I talk to Mr Callen, Mr Hanna and Mrs Blye is my office now please"

"Yes Granger"

G, Sam and Kensi walked with Granger into his office

In the Hospital across the road Dr Gregory sat down in his chair and started going through some of his files. All of a sudden, a giant green claw came up behind him and choked him and he couldn't scream. His glasses fell on the floor and, after a little bit longer, so did he.

At the Bronze that night, a couple guys who were friends with Sam were talking.

"Totally scored with Cheryl's sister," said one guy.

"The one in college?" asked the other.

"No, the 10-year-old," he responded, sarcastically, "Yes, the one in college!"

Sam came over. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Well, then, Hanna, how many times did you score?" asked the first guy.

Sam scoffed. "Are we talking today or the whole week?" He fake laughed and then caught sight of G and Kensi. "I'll be right back…Girls." He went over to G and Kensi. "Hey there, ladies."

"What's wrong with you, boy?" asked G.

"Quiet, those guys over there had the nerve to question my manliness!" Sam snapped.

Kensi scoffed. "We'll show him!" She cuddled up in his arms.

G rolled her eyes and turned his attention to the entrance, where he caught sight of Nell. "I'll be right back." He went over to talk to her.

"Who's that girl?" Sam asked when he saw G going over to Nell.

"I take it that's Nell," Kensi answered.

"That weird girl that warned him about all the Vampires?" Sam nodded. "He didn't say anything about her being so attractive! How come _that_ never came up?"

G came over to Nell. "Well, well, well, look who's here."

"Hey," Nell responded.

"I'd say it's nice to see you, but we both know that's one big lie. You're just here to give me some cryptic warning about some exciting new catastrophe and then disappear, right?"

"You're cold."

"Oh, get over it."

"No, I mean, you look cold." She took off her jacket and gave it to him.

"Oh, sure!" Sam complained across the room. "Give him your jacket! It's a balmy night! No one needs to be exchanging clothing around here!"

G wrapped her coat around himself. "It's a little big, but it's warm." He noticed that her arm was cut. "What happened to _you_?"

"I wasn't paying attention."

"To a guy with a big fork?"

"Don't let him corner you. Don't give him a moment's mercy. He'll rip your throat out."

"OK, I give you points for the strong visual. Ripping a throat out is…very…odd. And not cryptic in any way whatsoever."

"I have to go." She started to leave.

"Don't you want your jacket back?"

She shook her head. "Looks better on you."

G smiled as soon as she was gone. He liked her.

The next morning, G was talking to Owen on the way into work.

"That's all she said?" Owen asked, "'Fork Guy'?"

"Yup," G answered, "Cryptic Girl said 'Fork Guy'."

"I think there are too many girls in your life." They stopped walking when they reached a bench where Kensi was sitting and G sat down next to her. "I'll see what I can find." He sighed. "Every day here is the same."

"Bright, sunny, beautiful," Kensi said, "However can we escape this torment?"

Owen went off to his office and Sam came up to the girls. "Bad news, people," said Sam, " One of the doctor's from the hospital across the road is missing"

"What happened?" asked G

Sam shrugged.

"He's missing?" G asked, shocked, "That's bad news! Something might be wrong!"

"Sorry," Oliver snapped, "I'm sure he'll…uh…"

"What?" Kensi turned to see a nice looking young woman coming up. G turned to see the same thing.

"Hi, could you help me?" asked the young woman when she came up to them.

Sam looked around to make sure she was talking to him. "Uh…sure, I can!"

"I'm looking for Los Angeles College."

"Right, college…it's, um…!" G smirked at Kensi, who couldn't suppress a giggle at Sam's confusion. "Uh, where is it?" Sam asked, turning to the girls for help. G and Kensi just shrugged, mockingly.

The guy who had been mocking Sam the night before came up behind them. "Hi, Blayne Mall. I'm going to the college right now. It's right next to the varsity field where I took All-City last year."

"Well, thank you, Blayne," said the young woman, following him to the college.

G, Kensi, and Sam walked over to the hospital. When they came into Dr Gregory's office, G noticed his glasses on the floor.

"What's wrong, G?" Kensi asked while G bent down and picked up the glasses. He examined them to see that they were broken.

"The doctor must have dropped his glasses," G contemplated, "Why wouldn't he pick them back up." Kensi shrugged. G shrugged, too, and put them in his pocket before walking in.

A young woman faced the trio. "Hi, I'm Natalie French. I'm filling in for Dr Gregory."

"Uh, Mrs French?" asked G, "Do you know when he's coming back?"

"No, I don't, uh…" Natalie said.

"G Callen."

"They just call me and tell me where they want me. She picked up a glass jar with a praying mantis inside. "The praying mantis is a fascinating creature. They're forced to live alone. Do you know why Mr Callen?"

G hesitated, trying to think of an answer. "Well…the words '_bug_-ugly' kind of spring to mind." Kensi and Sam tried to suppress giggles at that comment.

"There is nothing ugly about these creatures," said Natalie, seeming almost offended, "The reason they are forced to live alone is because they're cannibals. It's hardly their fault. It's the way nature designed them. There are over 1800 species worldwide and, in nearly all of them, the female is usually larger _and_ more aggressive than the male. The California Mantis lays her eggs and finds a mate to fertilize them." She turned her attention back to the class. "Once he has played his part, she covers the eggs in a protective sac and attaches it to a leaf or twig, out of danger. If she's done her job correctly, she'll have several hundred offspring after a few months." She laid the jar back on the table.

G, Kensi, and Sam sat down in the squad room at lunch time eating hotdogs.

G poked his food with his fork…to make sure it was food. "Hot dog surprise. Be still my heart."

"You know, call me old-fashioned," Kensi remarked, "but I'm kind of tired of surprises in my hot dogs."

"I wonder what she sees in me," said Sam, twirling his fork in his hand, "It's probably my rugged good looks!" G and Kensi looked at each other. "Mrs French? You're probably a little too young to understand what an older woman could see in a proper man."

"Oh, I understand," said G, "The proper man is too dumb to wonder why the older woman can't find someone her own age. So young and so terribly innocent."

"Alright, Slay-boy," Sam whispered, "Listen here. Those that can, do. Those that can't…laugh at those who can do."

G got up and went over to get a drink, which he had forgotten the first time. He walked over to the mini refrigerator and opened it. When he looked inside, he gasped at called Kensi and Sam over. Kensi and Sam went over to see what went wrong. "His head! Where's his head?"

G, Kensi, and Sam looked inside to see Dr. Gregory's dead body stuffed in the fridge, decapitated.

Later in the library, G, Kensi, Sam and Owen were discussing what had happened.

"Well, he didn't have any enemies on the staff, as far as I'm aware," said Granger, "He was a civilized man."

"We're gonna find out who did this," said Kensi, "We're gonna find them, and we're gonna stop them!"

"Well, what do we know?" asked Owen.

"We know he was killed in the hospital, probably yesterday," said G.

"How do you know that?" asked Owen.

"His glasses were outside his office" said G.

"OK, this is a question no one particularly wants to hear," said Sam, "but where did they put his head?"

"Wow," said Kensi, "You were right about something for once, Sam." Sam smiled in gratitude. "I DIDN'T wanna hear that!" Sam stopped smiling.

"Nell!" G stood up. "She warned me that something was coming."

"Yes, I suppose she did," said Owen, "I wish I knew what she meant. I've been trying to gather information about the Master. There was a reference to a Vampire who displeased the Master. The Master cut off his hand."

"Cut off his hand and replaced it with a fork?" G asked.

"I don't know what he replaced it with," said Owen.

"So why come after a teacher?" asked Sam.

"I'm not certain he did," said Owen, "There was an incident 2 nights ago involving a homeless man in Weatherly Park. He was practically shredded, but it was nothing like what happened to Dr. Gregory."

"Fork Guy doesn't do heads," said G, "Plus, Dr. Gregory's blood wasn't drained. He was just…decapitated."

"So there's something out there besides Silverware-man?" asked Sam, "Oh, this town is just one big Monster Island, isn't it?"

"Well, we are on a Hell-Mouth, but I guess that's the same thing," said G. He started pacing. "Where's Weatherly Park?"

"G, you shouldn't go looking for this thing," said Granger, "It's dangerous. You could get hurt."

"I'm the Slayer, Granger, I heal fast."

"G…promise me you won't go after this thing."

G thought about it for a second and nodded. "I promise."

G was walking through Weatherly Park that night. _I can't believe I broke my promise to Granger. At least there's nothing and no one here. He probably won't find out. And if something does turn up, I can tell him anyway. He's my Watcher. I trust him. _He looked around. He finally caught sight of the Vampire climbing up a fence. Natalie was on the other side of the fence, just walking home. Fork Guy jumped down behind her. She turned around to face him, not scared at all. Fork Guy took one look at her and ran off to a manhole that led to the sewer system, ducking down into it and closing the manhole behind him. Natalie continued to walk home. G just stood there, watching the whole thing go on.

"You went hunting last night," said Owen to G in his office the next morning.

"Yeah," G answered.

"After you specifically promised me you wouldn't."

"OK, we get it! I'm a bad person! Can we move on?"

"Did you see someone with a…fork?"

"More like a jumbo claw."

"Well, at least you aren't hurt."

"I didn't fight it. But you wanna know something even more interesting? Mrs French, the doctor subbing for Dr Gregory, was walking home. Claw Guy comes along, takes one look at her, and runs away."

"He ran away? He was…terrified of Mrs French?" G nodded. "Maybe we should keep an eye on her."

"And I have to get to work."

Sam was waiting in the hospital keeping an eye on Mrs French.

She walked over to Sam and sat down next to him and nudged him. "I'll see you hear after work." She got up and left.

G came down the hall of the hospital relieving Sam from watching. The door was closed. She looked in the little window of Mrs French's office. Inside the room, Natalie had her back turned to G. She her turn her head completely around without moving her body in any way. G shuddered at what he saw and pinned himself to the wall.

G and Kensi walked into Granger's office to talk to Owen.

"No, I'm not saying she craned her neck," said G, "We are talking full-on exorcist twist!" He turned to face Owen. "Did you find anything?"

"I haven't found any sort of creature that can strike fear into a Vampire's heart," Owen answered.

"Then start looking for things that can turn their heads all the way around," said Kensi.

"Nothing human can do that," said Owen.

"Exactly," said G, "Nothing _human_…but some insects can." He went up to the bookshelves.

"Where are you going?" asked Owen.

"Researching," G answered, running up to the bookshelves. He came back after a few seconds. "Where are the books on bugs?"

Sam was in the hospital alone with Mrs French. "Hi."

Natalie was in her seat and turned to face him. "Hi. I was just grabbing a snack. Can I fix you something?"

"No, thanks," said Sam. He had just noticed the collection of Mantis' she had.

Sam said, "So, where do we start?"

"Actually, I have doctor's conference in a half hour. Do you think you could come to my place at about…7:30?" Sam nodded. "Here's my address." She wrote it down on a piece of paper and gave it to him. "See you tonight." Sam sighed, happily, and left the room. After he was gone, Natalie got out her bread. She took a plastic container out of her desk and dumped the contents…crickets on the bread, eating it after she had fixed it.

G finally found the book. "Get this. A praying mantis can turn its head at a 180-degree angle when looking for its next prey. Ha!" Kensi and Owen made no reaction. "Come on, guys, ha!"

"Isn't Mrs French sort of big for a bug?" asked Kensi, "And…woman-shaped?"

"OK…" G thought of a way to prove his point. "1: Only the praying mantis…and maybe some owls…can rotate its head like that. 2: A pretty whacked-out Vampire is scared to death of her. 3: Her fashion sense screams predator."

"If you're right," said Owen, "then she would have to be a shape-shifter or some sort."

Kensi pulled up a file on the computer. "G, Owen, 911! Someone's mom called her son never came home from his trainee work last."

"Let me guess he was working with Mrs French yesterday?" asked G, suspiciously, coming over to Kensi to see the file himself.

"Oh no…Sam's got a date with her tonight!" Kensi squealed in fright.

"OK, don't panic," said G, "I'll warn him. You hack into the coroner's office."

Kensi nodded and started typing. "What are we looking for?"

"Autopsy on Dr Gregory," G answered.

"Uh, is that legal?" asked Owen. Kensi and G both scoffed and nodded.

"Of course," Kensi said.

"Totally!" G said.

"Right," said Owen, not believing it, "Wasn't here, didn't see it, and couldn't have stopped you."

"Good idea," G said.

G walked down a hall and came to Sam. "Sam! How'd it go with Mrs French?"

"Well, it's a bit demanding being her absolute favorite guy in the universe," answered Sam, "but I'll muddle through."

"Uh, Sam, I need to tell you something about her," said G, "And…I'm not sure how you're gonna take it." He took a deep breath. "She's not human. She's a big bug." Sam started laughing. "I know it sounds weird, but-"

"Look, I get it," said Sam, putting his hand on G's shoulder, "I met someone and you're jealous."

G was shocked. "What?"

"Look, there's nothing I can do about it. There's just…this attraction between Mrs French and me."

"I know, it's a chemical attractant that insects give off. They're called pheromones."

"She's not an insect. And as hard as that may be for you to conceive, an actual woman finds me attractive. I realize she's no…mystery girl going around giving out leather jackets. And, while we're on the subject, what kind of name is 'Nell' anyway?"

"What does that have to do with this?"

"Nothing! Alright? Look, I gotta go." He left, leaving G in a state of shock and confusion.

Sam knocked on Mrs French's door. When she opened it, she was in a flowing, spaghetti-strap dress that reached down just below her knees. Sam simply stared at her.

"Should I change?" Natalie asked.

"No, no, no…uh, I'm just…gonna come in now." Sam walked in and she closed the door.

"You want something to drink?"

Sam quickly grabbed a glass of soda from the table and drank it.

"Uh…before we get started, can I ask you a personal question?" Natalie asked.

Sam set the glass back on the table and shrugged. "Sure."

"Have you ever…been with a woman before?"

"You mean…in the same room as one?"

"You know what I mean."

"Oh, right, uh…there was, uh, several! There was, uh…and quite a few times I, uh…and this one girl, uh…no, never."

"I know. I can tell." She took his hand. "Your hand is so hot."

Sam thought he could hear muffled screaming coming from somewhere. "What's that?"

"What?"

"Sounds like someone crying…"

"I don't hear anything."

Sam felt himself getting weaker. He looked down at her hands. "Your hands are really…" Her hands turned into tentacles. "…serrated." Sam stood up. "I think I…have to…" He fainted.

Sam woke up about a half hour later and found himself in a cage in her basement. He looked around and saw a giant praying mantis in the dark not far away preparing her nest. "Ms. French?"

The mantis giggled. "Please, call me Natalie!"

Sam backed away, frightened, and then remembered G. He had warned him that something like this would happen and he hadn't believed him. Maybe if he had he wouldn't be playing prisoner to a 'big bug.'

Kensi was still typing in the library and G was sitting next to her waiting. "Got it!" Kensi exclaimed in excitement. G stood up and went over to see. "I hacked into the coroner's office. I got the whole report, complete with…" She shuddered in disgust. "…color pictures."

"There _are_ bite marks," G said, "And the match perfectly to the ones from the one insect that bites off its victim's head. They feed head-first. Wait…that's also how they mate."

"No, no, I like Sam's head! It's got his eyes and his hair and his…adorable smile."

"Relax, he's not in any immediate danger."

Sam was trying to pry the bars apart. He stopped and started pacing. He eventually saw who was in the cage connected to his. "Blayne!"

"Sam!" Blayne said, getting up, "You've got get me out of here. She…when she takes you out of your cage, she…she starts moving and throbbing and these eggs come shooting out of her."

"And then what?" Sam asked, regretting in as soon as it came out.

"She mates with you. And that's not the worst part. You see her teeth? Right in the middle of…I don't wanna die like that!"

"Relax, we're gonna get out of here. I just need a plan."

Owen came up to G and Kensi. "I found it. She calls herself the She-Mantis. She's a virgin-thief who tears the living flesh from the bones of the-"

"Owen, before we turn 80!" G urged.

"Well, basically, she assumes the form of a…beautiful woman and lures innocent virgins into her nest."

"Well…Sam's not a…" G tried to think of a way to word it. "I mean, he's probably…"

"…gonna die!" Kensi finished for him. She got up and went over to the phone.

"OK, OK, we just find it and snuff it," said G.

"I would suggest cleaving the body parts with a sharp blade," Owen said.

"So, we…slice and dice," G paraphrased.

"Pretty much, yes," said Owen.

Kensi got off the phone. "Sam's not home!"

"OK, Kensi, find Ms. French's work file and get her address. Owen, go record some bat sonar and fast!"

"What?" asked Owen.

"Bats eat them."

"Well, where will I find-"

"Ask Eric," said Kensi.

Owen went off to find Eric. G sighed. "Guess I'll handle armoury."

Sam was messing with the bars again.

"Don't do anything to make her mad!" Blayne said. Sam took out one of the bars in between his cage and Blayne's. "Hey, now I can get out of my cage!" Blayne then realized the flaw. "And into yours. Why'd you do that?"

"A weapon," Sam answered.

Blayne looked and saw that Natalie was coming. "I think you're gonna need it!" Sam was startled and dropped the bar on the floor.

Kensi pulled up Mrs French's file. "I got it!"

"Perfect," said G, "Granger!"

Owen came up and held up a tape recorder. "Recording bat sonar is a lot like having one's teeth drilled."

G took the tape recorder. "Let's roll."

Kensi got off the computer and followed G and Owen to the door. "According to Ms. French's files, she was born in 1918. She's 90 years old!"

"And extremely well preserved," Owen commented.

The 3 of them ran up to the door.

"Do you think we should kick the door down?" asked Kensi.

"Oh, yeah, that would be wrong," G said, preparing to do just that. The door opened to reveal a senior lady (and I'm talking _old_ senior not high school senior). G put his foot down. "Sorry, we're looking for Mrs French."

"I'm Mrs French," said the old lady.

"Are you sure?" G asked, "Natalie French? The substitute science teacher?"

"Oh, dear, that's me!" said the old lady, "I taught for over 30 years. Of course, I retired in 1987."

G was shocked. He turned to face Owen and Kensi. "I can't believe this. She used Mrs French's file to get into the school! She could be anywhere!"

"Oh no, dear, I'm right here," said the old lady.

Sam was still in his cage. "What's she doing?"

"I think she's coming for you," said Blayne.

Sam fell down on the floor. The bar was behind him. He picked it up behind his back and used his feet to pull himself toward her…smacking her with the bar and getting up to run as soon as she was close enough.

"What do we do?" asked Kensi as they walked down the street, looking for the house that Sam was in.

"I saw her walking past here with grocery bags the other night," said G, "She lives in this neighbourhood."

"In that case, I'll start banging on doors," said Kensi.

"No, we don't have time," said G, "I have a better idea." He went over to a manhole and opened it, getting ready to jump in. "I won't be long."

"G?" Owen tried to stop him, but he already jumped down.

After a few minutes, G came out of some bushes with Claw Guy fighting him, his arms tied behind his back. "Come on, where is she? I know you're afraid of her, I saw you!" He kicked him and let go. He finally pointed out her house. "Well, it's not extremely efficient, but it's better than radar." Claw Guy cut the ropes with his blades.

"G!" Kensi called out in warning.

G turned around just in time to see him try to attack him and dodged his attack. He saw a nearby picket fence and withdrew one of the pickets, thrusting it into his heart when he got up, turning him to dust. "At least we know where Ms. French is."

Natalie had Sam cornered.

Sam looked around for a way out. "Can I just say one thing? HELP!"

G burst in.

"Hey!" Blayne called out, "Over here! In the cage!"

"Yeah, in a minute," G said, kicking Natalie to get her away from Sam, "Are you OK?" Sam nodded and saw Kensi and Owen come in. "Get him out of here!" Kensi went over to Blayne and Owen got Sam out of the way while G withdrew the tape recorder and a blade from his bag. "You taught me what happens to you when you hear this." He hit the button.

"…extremely important not to file simply alphabetically…" the tape played.

"Granger!" G snapped.

"You hit the wrong side!" Owen said.

Natalie knocked the tape recorder and knife out of G's hands and tried to attack. G pushed her out of the way just in time and kicked her. Lilly picked up the tape recorder, flipped over the tape inside and hit play. The bat sonar started screeching. Natalie covered her ears.

"Bat sonar," said G, "Can't stand it, can you? Well, we can't stand you!" He picked up the knife and started chopping her apart. After a few minutes, he came over to Owen, Kensi, Sam, and Blayne.

"I'd say it's deceased," said Owen.

"And dissected," added Kensi.

"Are you OK?" Sam asked G.

G nodded. "Yeah. You?"

Sam shrugged. "I've been better. And, just for the record, you were right and I should have listened to you."

"I'm really glad you're OK, Sam," said Kensi, "It's so unfair that she only went after virgins."

"Yeah, I—What?"

"Hey, my dad's a lawyer," said Blayne, "Anyone breathes a word of this, they'll find themselves facing a lawsuit."

"Blayne, do yourself a favor and shut up," said Sam, picking up the knife. He went over and started hacking away at the eggs.

Later at the Bronze, G was at the bar. He was wearing Nell's jacket and Nell just so happened to show up behind him.

"So," said Nell, "word on the street is that there's one less Vampire walking around making a nuisance of himself."

"There is," G answered, turning to face her, "Guess I should be thanking you for the tip."

"Pleasure's mine."

"You know, it'd be a lot easier if I knew how to get in touch with you."

"I'll be around." She left.

"Or you could at least tell me who you are?" G said. It appeared as though she hadn't heard him, but he knew she had simply ignored it.

**END EPISODE**


	5. Don't kill the girl on your first date

Chapter 5: Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

G was in a graveyard, fighting a Vampire. "We haven't been properly introduced," he said when he finally had him cornered. He got out a stake. "I'm G and you're history." He staked him. He turned to dust.

Owen came up to G from behind a headstone. "Brilliant technique, poorly executed. It should just be plunge, dust, and move on."

"Oh, don't worry, Granger," said G, "It was my pleasure to make the world safe for humanity once again."

"Well, it's just that…hello, what's this?" He used his pen to pick up a ring.

"Oh, perfect. I kill them, you fence their stuff. What is it?"

"I don't know. I thought this was just another random kill, but it may be something bigger. I'd better start looking through my books."

The Master slammed a book on a podium in his lair. "'And there shall come a time of crisis,'" he quoted, "'of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed. And the Slayer will not know him and will not stop him, and he will lead him into Hell.' As it is written, so shall it be." He took the book and started to walk around the room. "'5 will die, and from their ashes the Anointed will rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him and usher him to his eternal life.' As it is written, so shall it be." He stopped walking in front of one of the Brethren. "'And one of the Brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate.' Oh wait…" He grabbed the Vampire by the throat. "…that's not written anywhere." He threw the Vampire across the room and he landed in a coffin. "The Anointed will be my greatest weapon against the Slayer. If you fail to bring him to me or if you let that boy get in your way…" He slammed the coffin shut. "Here ends the lesson." He slammed the book shut and walked off.

G was in the Granger's office the next day, examining the ring as he sat at the table.

Owen came over to him, reading a book. "That symbol on the ring…I believe it's a symbol for fidelity. But it doesn't connect with anything I've studied."

"What about this symbol on the inside?" asked G, showing him the ring, "It's the sun and 3 stars. Haven't we seen that somewhere?"

"Let me see that," said Owen, putting down the book and taking the ring, "No, I don't think that represents any…"

G was leafing through a book and he stopped on a particular page. "Hey, I found it! Sun and 3 stars, check it out!" He showed him the book. "Told you it looked familiar."

"Yes, the Order of Aurelius. I suppose you're right."

"Ooh, 2 points for the Slayer while the Watcher has yet to score." A brown haired girl of about G's age walked in. G caught sight of her and stood up. "Lauren! Hi!"

"What do you want?" asked Owen.

"Uh…a give a message to you?" Lauren said.

"See, this is a workplace," said G, "and it has workers and they give people messages and solve cases"

"Really?" asked Owen, "I was beginning to suspect that was a myth."

"Hetty, was wanting to know why Mr Callen, Mr Hanna and Mrs Blye have not been working lately," said Lauren.

"Hetty, huh?" said G, "Well tell Hetty that…"

"Wasn't talking to you Callen," Lauren corrected.

"Fine!" G scoffed.

"They've been doing some work for me," said Owen.

"Okay and um… Do you have any books on lip reading," said Lauren, going over to the bookshelf.

G followed her. "He does I'll show you them"

She found the book she was looking for. The 2 of them went back to Owen.

"I'll need it back in two weeks" Owen said to Lauren.

"See you Callen." Said Lauren

"Cool…" G said, staring after her as she left. When she was gone, he squealed in excitement. "That was Lauren!"

"Yes, I believe I caught that," said Owen.

"She's like amazing. Did you know she took down a terrorist group operating in Los Angeles with a piece of wood and some rocks" asked G, "I need to know how to do that!"

"G, while the mere fact that you wish to learn something is grounds for a national holiday, I think we should focus on the problem at hand."

"Right…Vampires." They stood in awkward silence for a few minutes.

"Lauren Hunter was talking to you?" Sam asked as he and G sat down in the squad room for lunch, "She hardly talks to anyone! She can brood for 40 minutes straight. I've clocked her." He picked up his fork and started eating. "So what'd you guys talk about?"

"Lip reading," G answered.

"She wants to lip read?" asked Sam, "She's strong, yet girly! Wait…you don't know how to lip read." G put his new book on the table, the title read How to Lip Read. "Really!"

Kensi sat down next to them. "What you doing?"

"I'm avoiding the subject," said Sam. "So how'd the slaying go last night, G?"

"Sam!" G hissed as some officers passed them.

"I meant how'd the _laying_ go?" asked Sam. Kensi and G gave him looks. "No, that's not right either."

"I went fine, thank you," G said, "There's a new hoity-toity Vampire sect in town."

"That's not good," said Kensi.

"Well, hey, they're bringing in the tourists," said Sam. He then noticed Lauren on the other side of the room, sitting alone at a computer. "Ooh, look at Mrs Excitement."

G looked over to her and smiled, grabbing his book and putting it back in his backpack. "Maybe someone should go sit with her." She got up.

"Good luck, tiger," said Sam.

G started to go over, but an officer came up from a different direction first. He bumped into G, making him drop his bag on the floor."Sorry."

Lauren got up and went over to G. "Here, let me help." She bent down and started to help him pick up his stuff.

"Thanks," said G, taking it from her.

"Hey, Callen, a bunch of us are loitering at the Bronze tonight. Do you want to go?"

"Okay"

"How about 8?" asked Lauren.

G smiled. "Sure, 8. So there!" He picked up his bag and walked back to Oliver and Lilly.

G and Sam came up into the Owen's office.

"It's not that big a deal," said G, "It's just a bunch of people getting together."

Owen walked in.

"It is too a big deal!" Sam said. He turned to Owen. "Tell him!"

"I'm afraid it's very big," said Owen.

"Thank you!" Sam said, "Wait, huh? 'Afraid'? What are you talking about?"

"What are _you_ talking about?" asked Owen.

"Girls," G and Sam both said at the same time.

"Of course," said Owen, "Well, I'm talking about trouble. We were spot-on about the Order of Aurelius. Aurelius himself prophesied that the Brethren of his Order would bring the Master the Anointed."

"Who's that?" asked Sam.

"A warrior," answered Owen, "It says that '5 will die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise.' It should occur the day after the Advent of Septus."

"And we'll be ready," said G.

"Which is tonight," said Owen.

"Tonight, OK." G then realized the situation. "Not OK! It can't be tonight!"

"My calculations are precise."

"No! They're bad calculations. Bad!"

"G has a date with Lauren!" Sam said.

"OK," said Owen, "I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the 12th century, and tell the Vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show."

"OK, right now, you're abusing sarcasm," said G.

"G, this is no ordinary Vampire," said Granger, "We have to stop him before he reaches the Master."

"But…cute girl!" G said.

"G," Owen snapped, "She will just have to be put on hold! The dark forces are joining against us and we have to fight back. Tonight we go into battle!"

Owen and G were leaning against a headstone in the graveyard. It was dark and cold and there was no one there, alive or Vampire.

"Perhaps I miscalculated," Owen said.

"You think?" G snapped.

"Well, you know what they say," said Owen, "Being a Vampire Slayer is 90% waiting."

"You couldn't have told me that 90% ago?" asked G. He stood up straight and looked around. "There aren't any fresh graves. Who's going to rise?"

"Apparently, no one tonight," said Owen.

"So I can bail?" G asked, hopefully.

"Very well then," said Granger as G started to leave, "But I hope I don't have to warn you about the consequences if someone were to find out you were the Slayer. It would put you and all those around you in danger."

"Then in that case, I won't wear my button that says, 'Hey, I'm the Slayer. Ask me how!' Good night, Granger!" He ran off.

"I was sure it was tonight," said Owen when he was gone, as he started to leave.

A bus was driving down an empty street on the other side of town. It held only 4 passengers and the driver.

One of the passengers stood up. "There's going to be a day of judgment. That day's going to bring judgment. Don't think you're ready."

"Hey, buddy," said the driver, "Are you going to sit down?"

"Are you willing to stand with the righteous?" asked the man.

Suddenly, one of the Vampires jumped in front of them and the driver slammed the brakes. "Are you guys OK?" the driver asked the passengers, who nodded. He went outside to check on the 'victim'. "Are you OK? Can you move?"

The Vampire grabbed him and bit him, allowing 2 or 3 other Vampires to get on the bus and kill the passengers.

(Sterling Knight's "Hero" is playing)

…_I can be everything you need,_

_If you're the one for me_

_Like gravity_

_I'll be unstoppable_

G came into the Bronze and looked around for Lauren.

_I_

_Yeah, I believe in destiny_

_Maybe an ordinary a guy without a soul_

He finally saw him…dancing with two boys, Kyle and Tor. G simply looked on, crushed.

_But if you're the one for me,_

_I'll be your hero… _

G quickly left.

G punched the punch bag so hard it fell over and then turned around to face Kensi.

"So you just went home?" asked Kensi.

"What was I supposed to do?" asked G, "Tell Lauren, 'Hi, sorry I was late. I was in a graveyard with Director Granger waiting for a Vampire rise so I could stop an evil prophecy from coming true'?"

"Or flat tire?" Kensi suggested.

G stood up straight. "I can't take this anymore. I feel like everyone is staring at me. The big, hideous, dateless monster." Just then, a officer walked by. "What?" The officer stopped walking and turned around to face her. "Yeah, that's right, I have no life. Nothing to see here. Move on with your life!" The officer ran off. G and Kensi started walking down the hall.

"Don't you think you're acting a little overly?" asked Kensi, "You could have any girl in school. I mean, a lot of girls can lip read."

G noticed Lauren coming down the hall and stopped walking. "Lauren." Kensi stopped walking and looked to see Lauren coming their way.

Lauren said, "I can't believe you didn't show last night! What happened?"

"Uh…my watch broke and we don't have any clocks in my house so I didn't know what time it is or even what day it was," G quickly blurted out, mentally scolding himself for not having a decent excuse prepared.

"Wow, just wow for a cop you're rubbish at lying" said Lauren, scowling, "How about we try again tonight?" She gave G her Gold watch.

"Tonight?" G asked, "You and me?"

Kensi glanced at her watch. It was a simple black one with Tweedy printed in the background. She glanced up at the watch that was now around G's wrist and then back at hers, jealously.

"I mean," G said, " OK"

"Last chance" said Lauren, "I'll pick you up at 7?"

"Perfect," said G," See you then." Lauren walked off and G squealed in excitement.

G walked into the Owen's office to find Owen. "Hey! So, how's it going with the Anointed One thing? That'll probably take you a few days, right?"

"Yes, there are a few interpretations."

"So tonight's looking slow, right? Probably best to relax and regroup, right? No big disasters coming, so I'll see you tomorrow. Bye!" He ran out.

"He is the strangest boy," Owen muttered after he left.

The Master was in his lair, talking to the Brethren. "You have done well. Everything is in place. When this night's work is done, I will have a mighty ally. I'll be one step closer to freeing myself from this...mystical prison. I've been trapped down here for so long that I've nearly forgotten what it's like on the surface. Well, there will be time enough to remember…when I rule it! If he tries to stop us, kill him. Give your lives if you must, but do not fail to bring the Anointed. I know you won't disappoint me."

G was in his room, getting changed.

The doorbell rang. "That's Lauren!" He ran to the door and opened it. "That's Owen, Kensi and Sam."

"We need to talk," said Owen.

"G's not home," G said, trying to close the door.

Owen pushed the door open and walked in. "My calculations may not have been as far off as I thought." He held up a newspaper.

"'5 Die in Car Accident'?" Sam read the headline, questionably.

"'5 shall die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise,'" said Owen, "That's the prophecy. 5 people have died!"

"In a car crash," said G, folding his arms over his chest.

"I know," said Owen, "It doesn't quite follow, but it's worth investigating. Among the dead was Andrew Borba, whom the police had sought for questioning in 2 murders. He must be the Anointed. The bodies have been taken to Los Angeles Funeral Home, so we can-"

"Owen, why do you want to hurt me?" asked G.

"What?" Owen asked.

Lauren came in the open door. "Hey."

"You have a date?" asked Owen.

"Yes, I will talk to you tomorrow," said G.

"Wait, you can't get off that easily!" Owen snapped.

"Wow, you really care about your work," said Lauren.

"Uh, Lauren, we need to tell you a few things about tonight," said Kensi as she and Sam led Lauren into the living room and G and Owen went out to the dock to talk in private.

"You have another date?" Owen asked.

"No!" G complained, "This is the first date! There's never been a date, OK? Last night blew and this is my maiden voyage."

"He doesn't like to dance?" Lauren asked Kensi.

"Yeah, and he hates being kissed," said Kensi, "And don't bother touching him."

"Kensi…" Sam threatened.

"As a matter of fact, don't even look at him!"

"We don't even know if this is anything," argued G.

"No, I guess we don't," said Owen.

"And I haven't had a day off in a while," said G, "And a cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer."

"G, maintaining a normal social life with you duties as Slayer is problematic at best," Owen explained.

"Hey, Clark Kent has a job!" G added, "I just want one date! Is that too much to ask?"

"Well…it is a very slim lead and…"

G sighed in relief. "Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Beep me if the apocalypse comes, 'kay? Bye!" he ran over to Lauren and told her it was time to go. The 2 of them left Sam, Kensi, and Owen alone.

"Is something bad going to happen?" asked Sam.

"Probably not, but I will go to the funeral home and check things out, just in case," Owen said, leaving.

(Jasmine's song "Make a Movie" is playing)

…_Dancing and moving makes me feel alright_

_I gotta, and that's why_

_Gotta, gotta make a movie of it…_

Lauren and Miley were sitting at a table in the Bronze.

G than remembered his conversation with Owen and looked around in his pockets for his pager. He looked at his pager. No messages or anything. He zipped up his pockets. "Let's dance." He led her over to the dance floor.

…_We're moving_

_And grooving_

_(Gotta, gotta make a movie of it)_

_You-tube it_

_Then we'll view it_

_(Gotta, gotta make a movie of it)…_

"It's weird," said Lauren as she danced close to G.

"What is?" G asked.

"One minute, I've got you figured out, the next it's like you're 2 different people."

G smiled. "I know the feeling."

…_You won't be alone_

_When you flip your phone_

_And look into the camera_

_We're gonna be here filming wit'cha… _

Kyle and Tor walked in and saw G with Lauren.

"Aren't there laws against this sort of thing?" Kyle and Tor stomped over to them. "Lauren! Look at you. Here all alone."

"Kyle, I'm with Callen," Lauren corrected.

"Oh!" Kyle said, "OK, so do you want to dance?"

"No, I'm still here with G," Lauren said.

"You're so good to help the needy," said Tor.

"Kyle, Tor," G said, "Lauren and I would like to be alone and I suggest you 2 go somewhere that's away!"

Kyle gave him a look. "Well," he said to Lauren, "when you're ready for the big leagues, let me know." He and Tor walked off.

Owen came up to the Los Angeles Funeral Home. He looked around and then went up to the building. He sensed a presence behind him. He turned around. Nothing. He turned back and saw one of the Brethren in front of him. He started to back away, but there was another one behind him. He quickly opened his bag and pulled out a cross and held it up at them. They recoiled and he ran off as fast as he could into the building. He searched around for a room he could hide in, but they were all locked. The Brethren were coming in after him. He then noticed the door to the morgue and went in there, putting the cross back in his bag. He closed the door behind him and blocked it with a filing cabinet. He went over to the windows, but they were barred. Suddenly, Kensi and Sam appeared in the bars. "AH!" Owen screamed, startled.

"Relax," Sam said, "It's us!"

"What are you doing here?" asked Owen.

"We saw those 2 Vampires go in after you," said Kensi, "Thought we should help. Can you get out the window?"

Owen tried to pry the bars apart and stretched his wrist in the process. "'Fraid not."

"Uh, I hate to state the obvious, but this looks like a job for G!" Sam objected.

"Uh, he has his…beeping thing," Owen said, "But there's no phone in here."

"We'll go get him," Kensi said, taking Sam off.

G and Lauren were standing by the stairs.

"Do you want something to eat?" asked Lauren.

"Sure," said G. Lauren walked off and he watched her leave.

Kyle was watching, jealously, from the other side of the room with Tor at his side. "What a disgusting display. Is that really appropriate behaviour for a public forum? I've never seen a guy just…fling himself on a girl like that!" He groaned and noticed Nell come in. "Ooh, hello, salty goodness! Someone better call 911, because that girl's gonna need some oxygen when I'm through with her." He then saw Nell go over to G. "Why is this happening to me?"

"G," Nell said.

G turned to face him. "Nell."

"I was hoping I'd find you here. There's some serious stuff happening out there tonight and you need to fight it."

G groaned. "Not you too!" He tried to go over to Lauren but Nell stopped him.

"What do you know?"

"Prophecy, Anointed One, yada, yada, yada."

"So you know. Fine. I just thought I'd warn you."

"Warn me? Do you see that brown haired girl at the bar?" He pointed to Lauren, who was getting some food. "She came here to be with me."

"You're here on a date?"

"Yes! Why is that so hard for everyone to believe?"

Lauren came over. "Here you-" She noticed Nell.

G looked between the 2 girls. "Oh, Lauren, this is Nell. Nell, this is Lauren, my date!"

"Hey," Nell said plainly.

"Hey!" Lauren responded, "So, where do you know G from?"

"Work."

Lauren turned to G. "Work?"

"Well…uh…"

Sam and Kensi ran up to him. "G…"

"Look at this," said Lauren, "You 2 show up everywhere."

"You don't know the half of it," said Kensi. She then noticed Nell. "What's she doing here?"

"I'm guessing the same thing you're doing here."

"Uh, what are _any_ of you doing here?" G asked, frustrated.

"Well, we…" Kensi tried to think of an excuse. "We, uh…thought we should make this a double date!" She and Sam put their arms around each other.

"I didn't know you guys were seeing each other," G said.

"Well," Sam said, "we knew it was going to happen eventually, so we thought 'why fight it?'" He giggled.

"And…you guys are thinking double," Lauren said. She turned to Nell. "And you're here because of work."

"Hey, maybe we should all go somewhere together!" Kensi suggested, "Like the, uh…Malibu Funeral Home?"

"The funeral home?" asked G.

"Actually," said Lauren, "that sounds kind of fun. Do you think we could sneak in?"

"Oh, we saw some guys in there before," said Kensi, "They seemed to be…" She turned to G and emphasized her next words. "…having fun."

"Oh, bite me!" G hissed at himself in frustration. He turned to Nell, who gave him an 'I told you so' look. "Uh, Lauren, I need to go."

"I thought we were all going to the funeral home," said Lauren.

"No, you can't!" G said, "I'll be back in a little while." He took her over a few feet. "You know how you were saying I'm like 2 different people? Well, one of them has to go, but the other really wants to stay. I'll be back, I promise." He, Sam, and Kensi ran off.

Lauren turned to Nell. "He is the strangest guy."

G, Kensi, and Sam came into the funeral home. They looked around, but didn't see any Vampires.

"OK, Granger is in the back," Sam said, leading them down a hall. They took a left…a came to a dead end.

"This is so cool!"

G gasped and turned around in shock at hearing that voice. "Lauren! What are you doing? You can't be here!"

"Oh, and I suppose you guys are allowed in here," said Lauren, "What are _you_ doing here? Are we going to see a dead body?"

"Possibly several," said G. He turned to Sam and Kensi. "Keep an eye on her." He went off to look for Owen.

Sam turned to Lauren, thinking up an excuse for G leaving. "He probably wants to make sure there are no…guards around."

"Good thinking," Lauren and Kensi said at the same time.

G was slowly looking around the hall. He found the morgue door open. The place was in shambles. He raced in and looked around. No Vampires, no Owen. "Granger?" His bag was on the autopsy gurney. He opened it and pulled out the cross and then noticed the window bars were torn open.

One of the doors in the body storage opened and Owen pulled himself out, shocking G and making him scream and drop the cross. "Oh, it _is_ you. Good." He started to pull himself out. "2 of the Brethren came in here. They came after me but I was more than a match for them." G gave him a look as he picked the cross back up. "OK, I hid. This chap was good enough to bunk with me until they went away." He jumped out.

"Were they here after you or was it that prophecy thing?"

"That's what we have to find out. I don't know exactly what these Brethren are meaning to do, find the Anointed or give him something, I don't know. It's all very vague and the Anointed may be long gone."

"Well, we can't take any chances. Let me get Lauren and the guys out of the way first."

"You brought your date here with you?"

"I didn't bring her, she came! I'll get rid of her. And, Owen, if she sees you, she's gonna have more questions than she does now. I'm going to have to deal with it." He ran out to the hall and met up with Sam, Kensi, and Lauren.

"Is everything OK?" asked Sam, "Is it OK for us to leave?"

"But we're not done looking around yet," objected Lauren.

"No, he's right," said G, "Let's find a nice, quiet room to look around in."

"Well, we tried the office over there, but it's locked," Lauren said.

G went around her and used his Slayer strength to break the lock when she wasn't looking. "No, it isn't!" He opened the door and let Sam, Kensi, and Lauren into the room. "Uh, I have to go." He noticed Lauren's confused look. "To the bathroom. If you hear anything, like a security guard or something, just be really quiet." He turned to Sam and Kensi. "And barricade the door." He left and went to the morgue, closing the door behind him.

G and Owen started looking through the cabinets for the Anointed one when G got there. They couldn't find anything.

Back in the office, Sam and Kensi had started piling furniture in front of the door.

"What are you doing?" asked Lauren when he noticed.

"Uh…just in case!" Sam replied.

Lauren turned around and saw a curtain. She drew it open and was shocked by what she saw behind it. "Whoa." Sam and Kensi stopped piling furniture and turned to see what had shocked Lauren so much.

G and Owen saw only one storage cell left. G slowly opened it. It was empty.

"The Anointed must be gone," said Owen.

"Are you sure this is where they keep all the dead bodies?" asked G.

"I've read a lot about death," Lauren told Sam and Kensi, "but I've seen a dead body before. Do they usually move?" Sam and Kensi got closer and saw that the body was pulling the sheet off.

Andrew stood up and looked around. He was now a Vampire. "I have been judged!"

G and Owen could hear Andrew smashing the window that was separating Andrew from Lauren, Sam, and Kensi and G ran down the hall to see what was going on.

Andrew drew closer to the window. "He is risen in me, he fills my head with song." Lauren, Sam, and Kensi began to frantically move furniture away from the door. "You are the unblessed, I can smell it." He stepped through the opening as they finally got the furniture moved and ran through the door. "I'll suck the blood from you for he says that I may!"

G, Sam, Kensi, and Sam met up in the hall.

"He's in there!" Kensi told G.

"Uh…" G struggled for a solution to their problem, "Go! Get out!" While the others were looking for a way out, G starting looking for Andrew.

Sam, Kensi, and Lauren finally found an exit but were blocked by the Brethren. Kensi screamed and Sam stood in front of her, ready to protect her. The Brethren didn't attack, they just closed the gates.

Kensi heard Andrew coming. "I think he's coming this way!" They ran and found themselves at another dead end.

G rushed into the morgue. "What've you got, Granger? Preferably something sharp and wooden." Owen fished around in his bag and pulled out a stake. He tossed it to him and he caught it perfectly. "Thank you! Go outside and make sure the others are OK!" Before he could leave, Andrew came up behind him and threw him into the cabinets, making him fall to the floor unconscious. Owen hurried over to see if he could help G, paying no attention to Andrew.

"Somebody's gotta help G," Kensi said, running off.

"Kensi, wait!" Lauren said, trying to stop her, unsuccessfully. She and Sam started to follow her as she headed to the morgue.

G was awake again, but just barely and he was still on the floor. Owen noticed Andrew coming toward them and held up his cross.

Andrew groaned. "Why does he hurt me?" He slapped Owen's hand away, making him drop the cross. He threw Owen into the furnace controls and the fire in the furnace lit up. While Owen was unconscious, Andrew moved over to G.

Kensi came running in and saw Andrew raise G above his head. "G!" He picked up a tray and threw it at Andrew's back, stunning him and making him drop G on the floor. Kensi went up to attack him, but Andrew simply grabbed her by the neck and moved in for the bite. She quickly grabbed an urn from a nearby rack and hit him in the head with it, making her drop to the floor. Kensi quickly rushed over to G and he woke up and tried to sit up. "Did you see that? He tried to bite me!" She helped G up, not noticing Andrew coming up behind her and knocking her in the back of the head with one of the body drawers, knocking her out.

"No!" G cried out. He turned to Andrew as Kensi fell to the floor. He kicked him in the gut and fell on the ground next the gurney. He ran to the other side and hit him with it when he got up and then pushed down on his end so that it hit Andrew in the head, knocking him down again. When he got up and tried to attack G, he blocked it and kicked him in the face. "You nearly killed my best friend!" He hit him and knocked G to the ground, but he only knocked him back and jumped up.

Sam and Lauren came to the door and noticed Kensi starting to regain consciousness.

"Uh, G, Kensi's-" Lauren started.

"Just give him a second," Sam interrupted.

G punched Andrew a few more times and kneed him in the gut, knocking him back into a counter as Giles regained consciousness. Andrew lunged at G, but he stepped to the side, making him land on the gurney and go flying into the furnace. Giles got up and locked the door behind him, allowing him to burn up and turn to ashes. G then turned around and noticed Kensi starting to sit up.

"Does anyone have an aspirin?" asked Kensi, "Or 60?" G smiled and went over to help her up. "What happened to that guy?"

"Oh, we scared him away," said G. He turned to Owen "I guess this isn't exactly what you had in mind for our first date."

"I know," Lauren said, "I was kind of hoping we could finish at Ben & Jerry's, but I think I'll just walk home." She started to go, but stopped. "Uh, which way's home?"

Sam walked over to G. "I'll make sure she gets there safely." Sam led Lauren out.

"G," Owen said, "if I may-"

"Don't!" G objected. He left with Kensi.

The next day at school, G, Sam, and Kensi were walking alone on the balcony.

"So did Lauren say anything about me on the way home?" asked G.

"Uh, no, not really," said Sam.

"I knew it!" G groaned, "I blew it! I totally blew it!"

"Now, what you need is a girl who knows your deepest, darkest secrets and still says, 'hey, I like that girl!'" Kensi said, "Someone like…"

G caught sight of Lauren. "Lauren!" Sam and Kensi then saw her and ran off.

"Hi," Lauren said, "I don't really know how to say this, but…the thing is…"

"You don't even have to say it," said G, "You were freaked out."

"Totally." G looked down in unhappiness. "And I don't want to do something like that again, I just, I don't think I could handle it, Bye Callen."

G nodded and she left.

Owen came up to G as he watched Lauren leave. G noticed Owen and said nothing, simply going over to a nearby bench and contemplating what was going on. "I was 10 when my father told me I was destined to become Watcher," Owen said, sitting down next to him, "He was one himself and his mother before him."

"Were you thrilled beyond all measure?" asked G.

"Actually, no. I thought I was going to become a…a fighter pilot or something." G laughed. "My father gave me a very tiresome speech about responsibility and sacrifice." G looked down at her feet. "I went to the funeral home of my own will."

"And I should've been there but I blew it!"

"G, I have volumes of Lore and mythic prophecies and such but I don't have an… instruction manual or any such thing. People plan their lives as they go along. And I must say, as a Slayer, you're doing very well."

G smiled. "We did stop that prophecy thing from coming true."

"Exactly. No more Anointed One. And I would imagine that the Master, wherever he is, is having a pretty bad day himself."

The Master was in his lair. "'And in this time shall come the Anointed. And the Slayer will not know him and will not stop him. And he will lead him into Hell.'" He went over and knelt down next to the little boy named Collin. "Welcome, my friend."

**END EPISODE**


	6. The pack

Chapter 6: The Pack

G was in the zoo on a case. He was walking down one of the crossroads when 4 bullies who worked for NCIS, Kyle, Rhonda, Tor, and Heidi came up behind him.

"Oh, look," said Kyle, "It's G Callen and all his friends."

G looked around. He was alone. "That's witty," he commented, sarcastically.

"Don't you ever wonder why nobody cool wants to hang out with you?" asked Tor.

G shrugged. "Guess I'm just thankful." He started to walk off.

"Were you this popular at your old work before you got kicked out?" mocked Rhonda. She and the others laughed as they ran off.

G muttered something to himself as he went over to the elephant habitat and started reading the plaque.

Kensi and Sam ran over.

"Hey, G!" said Kensi, "You missed it. Get ready…we saw the zebras mating!"

"Yeah!" said Sam, "It was like the Heimlich…with stripes!"

"Aren't we supposed to be working a case?" asked G, "But I can't believe I missed it. Somehow, I'll find the courage to live on." He started to walk off again.

Sam followed him, Kensi closely behind. "Where were you?"

"Looking at the fish," G answered.

"I'm getting the feeling that you're not bothered about the case here," said Kensi.

"Says, the person who would rather watch Zebras mating," G explained.

"G," said Kensi, "it's not just about looking at a bunch of animals, it's about not the case and we've been working so hard lately we need a break."

G stopped walking and Sam and Kensi stopped not long afterwards. "You know," G said, brightening, "I am in a different state so the animals _are_ new and we really do need a break!"

A kid in the Zoo, Rico, was by the monkey cages, taking notes and sketching the monkeys, when the terrible foursome came over.

"Hey Kid!" Kyle said, "How's it going on your little family reunion?"

Rico gave him a look. "Ha, ha, very funny."

"Hey, does your mom still pick out your lice or are you old enough to do it yourself?" asked Rhonda, leaning against the railing.

"Alright, guys, knock it off!" Rico complained. The only response was Tor taking his book. "Hey! Give me that back!"

Tor was pretty much the tallest in the group, so he just had to hold up the notebook about a foot above his head and Rico couldn't reach it no matter how high he jumped.

Hetty came up. "What's with all the commotion? I've had it, absolutely HAD IT, with you 4. What're you doing?"

"Nothing," said Kyle.

"Did I ask you to speak?" Hetty said, "OK, I guess I did, but I want the truth. What really happened kid?"

Rico looked back and forth between Hetty and Kyle. "Uh…they weren't doing anything. We were just messing around, really." He let out a nervous laugh and playfully elbowed Kyle.

"Alright," said Hetty. She started to leave and then turned back. "I'm watching you." She left.

Kyle turned to Rico. "You…came through big time!"

"Way to go, Rico!" Heidi commented.

"Hetty has been looking for a reason to come down on us," said Tor.

"Come on," said Kyle, "We're going to go check out the Hyena House."

"Uh, I think it's off limits," said Rico. The 4 bullies started laughing and Rico forced out a laugh or 2 in response. With that, the 5 of them went off to the Hyena House, going under the yellow brigade tape and into the small building. What they didn't know was that G, Sam, and Kensi saw them.

"What are Kyle and his buds doing with that kid?" asked Lilly.

"Probably trying to bribe him for some free hot dogs," Kensi suggested.

"What is with those guys?" asked G.

"They're obnoxious, professionally," answered Sam, "Every place has 4 types of people: the slackers, the nerds, the cool people, and the bullies. And then there's the 3 of us, Hetty and Granger."

"Well, I better break that kid out before-" G started.

Kensi stopped him. "I'll handle this. Normal people equals no slaying." She ducked under the tape and went in.

"Do you think we should follow her?" G asked Sam when Kensi was out of earshot. Sam shrugged and then thought about the situation and nodded.

Before they could duck under the tape, the zookeeper showed up. "Whoa, you can't go in there. The hyenas are quick to prey on the weak. Anyone who goes in is in for a world of trouble."

"Oh, no one's going in there," said Sam as he and G backed out, "Why is it off limits?"

"It's a quarantine," the zookeeper explained, "These hyenas just came in from Africa, so keep out…even if they call your name." G and Sam exchanged confused looks. "The Masai tribesmen say that hyenas can understand human speech. They follow humans and learn their names. When they get a chance, they'll call out one person's name. Once they're away from their group, the pack devours them."

Kyle and the others ducked under some more tape and went into the Hyena House. "Cool!"

Rico hesitantly stepped in. "Uh, I don't see any hyenas." A hyena came out of a rock in its habitat. "OK, now we've seen it." He tried to leave, but Tor stopped him.

"Looks cute," said Rhonda, "But kind of hungry."

Kyle and Tor were pushing Rico toward the habitat when Kensi ran in. "Hey! Why don't you pick on someone your own species?" He let Rico go. While Rico was running off, the hyena growled and drew the kids' attention to him. His eyes flashed green, and theirs did, too. Rico turned around on his way out to see what was going on with them and fell through the barricade tape. The 4 bullies turned and started laughing. Kensi simply smiled, evilly, and her eyes, once again, flashed green.

That night at the Bronze, G and Sam were at a table together.

"I thought Kensi would be here by now," said Sam.

"But that would make her on time," said G, "We couldn't have that."

"Did she seem upset on the way to the zoo this morning?" asked Sam, "She was kind of quiet."

G shook his head. "I didn't notice anything. Then again, I'm not quite as hyperaware of her as you are." Sam gave him a confused look, but G could tell he was struggling to fake it. "Oh come on, you're constantly monitoring her moods, her health, her blood pressure. You've got it bad, man."

"She just makes my head go all tingly, you know?" Sam said, "It hasn't happened to you? Not even for a strange and mysterious older girl whose leather jacket you are wearing right now?"

"It goes with my shoes!" G defended in mock annoyance.

"Oh, come on," said Sam, "Nell pushes your buttons, you know she does!"

"I suppose some guys might find her…attractive." G gave him a look. "If you have eyes. OK, she's a honey, but…she's hardly ever around. And when she is around all she wants to do is talk about Vampires and I just can't have a relationship-"

"She's here!"

"Nell?"

"Kensi!"

Kensi came into the club and went over to G and Sam's table. "Guys!"

"Girl!" G mocked.

"Sorry, I'm late," said Kensi, "I…forgot." She caught sight of G's burger. "Hungry!" She grabbed it and took a huge bite out of it.

"Uh, Kensi do you still need help with your work tomorrow?" asked Sam, trying to ignore her strange behaviour.

"Sure, whatever. G, what is this junk?"

"Well, it was my cheesy-veggie burger. I have…strange habits."

"You're telling me," Kensi said, slamming the rest of the burger back on his plate, "I've got to get something to eat. Birds live off this stuff."

Sam exchanged a confused and worried look with G. "Kensi, are you OK? Did I do something?"

Kensi scoffed. "What could you possibly do? That's crazy talk." She sat down and started sniffing G.

"OK, now what?" G asked, freaked out and annoyed at the same time.

"You took a bath," Kensi noted.

"Yeah," said G, "I'm actually known for it. And the weird behaviour award goes to…"

(Cosmic Blush's "All About You" starts to play)

Kensi then noticed Kyle and the others come in. G and Sam noticed them, too.

"Oh, great," said G, "It's the winged monkeys."

_I was on my own,_

_I was doing just fine_

_When you came in my life_

Kensi and Kyle simply stared each other down at a distance for a few seconds before Kyle and his group went over to an occupied table.

I was into you

_You were feeling me, too_

_It was all a good_

_Time_

"Hey!" Kyle alerted a kid at the table, "What are you doing sitting on our table?"

Turn me upside-down Turn my world around…

"Yeah," said Rhonda, "Shouldn't you be hovering above the football stadium with 'Goodyear' written on you?" She and the other 3 bullies laughed.

Kensi laughed. "The kid's fat."

…Too blind to see it

_Too in love to believe it_

_What'cha doing to me? _

The next morning in Owen's office, Owen and G were training. Owen was wearing gloves and G was kicking and punching them.

Finally, Owen ran out of breath. "OK, that's enough training for one day."

"Really?" G asked, "That last roundhouse was kind of sloppy. You want me to do it again?"

"No!" Owen objected in a millisecond, "No, we're fine. You just run along, I'm sure Hetty needs you …" G left, thinking he was done. "…while I wait for the feeling to return to my arms."

A pig was running through the halls.

"Look out, he's gotten loose!" Hetty warned as several of the officers jumped out of the way of the runaway bacon.

G reacted quick and used his animal instincts to stop the pig's rush and pick him up, holding him carefully in his well-trained arms.

Hetty came up, out of breath, and whooped a huge sigh of relief. "Gave me quite a scare there, Herbert." She turned to the crowd of officers looking on from the centre of the hall. "Behold the new mascot for NCIS!" The audience applauded and then went back to their business, getting ready for cases.

"He's so cute," G commented, petting him on the back.

"He is not cute," Hetty corrected, "He is a fierce Razorback." He pointed to the helmet that had Styrofoam tusks glued to it. "Here are his tusks and the…" He indicated the serrated green foam strapped to Herbert's back. "…scary Razorback."

"You're right," said G, "He is a fine mascot who will engender work spirit."

"Well, he better work on that work spirit, it costs a fortune to feed him. Now let's get him back in that cage." When Hetty tried to take Herbert in her own arms, though, the pig squealed and struggled around in G's arms to show that he wanted to stay with him. Hetty pointed in the direction of the room where she kept the cage. "This way." She led him off.

Kensi was on a bench, working on case reports with Sam. "I'm not getting this!"

"It's simple," said Sam, "'It obvious!"

"Explain _why_ I have to learn this?"

"Because otherwise you'll fail your polygraph, flunk out of work, and end up being the guy who sweeps the floor at Chuck E. Cheese's. Or worse, the guy in the giant mouse costume! We've been through this!" Kensi was too busy rubbing her temples to listen. "You know, if you have a headache, rubbing it is only going to make it worse."

"You're right. I need to find the source of the pain." She took the case reports, crumpled them up into a ball of waste, and threw it into a nearby wastebasket. "What do you know? I feel better already." She got up and walked away, leaving behind a shocked and offended Sam.

Hetty finally got G and Herbert to the faculty room. "The problem with you people today is that you have no work spirit. You're too occupied with shopping and concerts and those dumb movies and stuff on HBO. I care about the work's reputation." She went into the room to unlock the cage, leaving G in the hall holding Herbert.

Kensi then came into the hall and Herbert started to squeal and shake in G's arms. G tried to calm him down but was mostly confused about what was wrong about Kensi as he watched her pass and tried to keep Herbert from jumping out of his arms.

Lightning struck outside as the people training and there coach collected inside.

"OK," said the coach, "It's raining outside so we can't finish practising finding clues. You know what that means." He held up a red rubber ball with one hand. "Dodge-ball." Most of the group, mainly Sam (Who was helping out), groaned when he said that. "Now, the rules are as follows: you dodge." He tossed the ball to G and he caught it perfectly as he blew the whistle and the game began.

G threw out the ball as hard as he could without using his Slayer strength, but Kensi was the first to nail a victim. G, Kensi, and the 4 bullies were the ones that dodged the most balls the easiest as the coach watched from the side-lines. G hit his first victim and then Kensi hit Sam hard in the back. Sam gave her a hurt and confused look as he walked off the court and sat down. Eventually, G, Eric, Kensi, and the 4 bullies were the only ones left. But Kensi and the bullies ignored G completely and threw all their balls at Eric, making him fall to the ground. G ran over and helped Eric up, giving the other 5 a killer look as he walked him off. In fact, his look at Kensi was so brutal that if looks could kill he would have died before she knew he was looking at her.

"Whoa, this game is so brutal," said the coach, "I love it!"

Later in the halls, Sam saw Kensi talking to Kyle, Rhonda, Tor, and Heidi and pulled her away. "What's up with you today?"

"Oh, well, I think I'm acting differently because…my feelings for you have changed." Sam looked up at her, smiling hopefully as G came around the corner and looked on. "I've decided to dropping out of work early today and I won't need your help with case studies." Sam's smile faded. "This means I'll never have to look at your pasty face again." She and the 4 bullies all cracked up in laughter as Sam ran off. G simply went up to Kensi and gave her another look, shaking his head disapprovingly, and then went off to see Sam.

Kensi, Kyle, Rhonda, Tor, and Heidi went into the faculty room later and made sure no one was around, closing the blinds and locking the door. They all then concentrated on Herbert in the cage, who was squealing and looking for a way out as Heidi started to shake the cage and break off the top.

"I'm known her my whole life, G," said Sam, "ever since highschool. But she's never said anything like that to me."

"Well, she hasn't really been herself lately," said G.

"Maybe something's wrong with me," said Sam. "I mean, she's not picking on you, she's just sniffing you a lot. Maybe 3 are a crowd and not company."

"And this can't have anything to do with me, that doesn't explain why he's hanging around with Hewey, Dewey, Louie, and…Elmer Fudd. Something weird is going on."

"You lost your sense of humour involving analogies and references to 20th century cartoon characters?" G put a hand on his hip and gave him a look. "OK, OK, I get it. I'm taking out my feelings about Kensi on you. So what're we going to do?"

"Talk to the expert on weird."

Owen took a book out of a shelf from the bookstacks. "Kensi's taken to teasing the less fortunate?" G nodded. "And there's been noticeable change in demeanour, behaviour, and attitude?" Sam nodded. "It's terrible. Of course, you'll have to kill her."

"Granger, this is serious!" G scolded.

"So am I, except for the killing her part," said Owen.

G groaned. "I cannot believe that you, of all people, are trying to lecture me. Well, actually, I can believe _that_, but there is something supernatural at work here! Get your books! Look stuff up!"

"Under what?" asked Owen.

"I don't know, that's your department!" G added.

"G, people can be cruel. They tease, they prey on the weak, it's a natural behaviour pattern."

"Wait, say that again?"

"It's a natural teen behaviour pattern."

"Yeah, but before that."

"I said they tease."

"Yes, but after that."

"Oh, I think he's talking about the part in the middle," Sam helped, opening up his laptop, "where you mentioned how 'they prey on the weak.'"

"That's the one!" G said, "Kensi's only been acting weird since he into the hyena house at the zoo! And the 4 bullies were there, too. And that zookeeper guy told us how they had just come in from Africa…oh, that laugh! Why didn't I see that before?"

"You're saying that Kensi and those bullies have been possessed by a hyena?" Owen asked.

G nodded.

"Herbert!" Sam cried out suddenly as he stopped typing, "They found him in his cage in the faculty office…dead. Eaten. Hetty's freaking out!" Owen started to walk out of his office. "Where are you going?"

"To get my books and look stuff up."

Hetty was stomping angrily through the quad where she saw the pack, not including Kensi. She went over to their table. "You 4!"

"What?" asked Kyle, more mockingly then fake-innocently.

"Don't think I don't know what you did!" Hetty scolded, "3 officers saw you outside Herbert's room. You're busted!"

"How is Herbert?" asked Rhonda.

"Crunchy!" Heidi answered. All 4 bullies cracked up in hysterical laughter.

"That's it!" Hetty said, making them all stop laughing, "My office! Now!" She led them all off.

Sam kept typing on his laptop as he waited for Owen or G to come back with some information.

G came in carrying an open book in his arms. "Huh. Seems that Noah rejected the hyenas from the ark because he thought they were evil and impure." He closed the book and laid it on the table.

"Hyenas aren't well liked," said Sam, "A lot of cartoons and kiddy movies tend to mock them and make them the bad guys, especially 'the Lion King.' Why couldn't Kensi be possessed by a puppy or…some ducks or something?"

Owen came in office. "The Masai tribesmen have apparently spoken of animal possession for generations. I should have remembered that. Apparently there's a group of animals worshippers called Primal. They believe that humanity, consciousness, and the soul are all a perversion or delusion of spirit and that the animal state is holy. They are able, through trans-possession, to draw the spirits of certain animals to themselves. But only the most predatory animals are of interest, which explains the hyena."

"So, what happens to someone once the spirit's in them?" asked Sam, reluctantly.

"Well, if it goes unchecked…" Owen showed the book to G.

G took one look and his expression changed to one of fear and shock. He quickly slammed the book shut and dropped it on the table. "I've gotta find Kensi." He quickly ran off to look for her. He came to the faculty room. The cage was ripped apart and torn open. "Wow. They are strong." He stepped on something hard and looked down to see his foot covering a few pig bones. He picked up one of the bones and turned around to see Kensi. "Kensi!" He tried to go around her, but she quickly blocked him and closed the door. He sighed and turned around. "This is ridiculous. We need to talk." He quickly spun around and pinned her to the ground.

Kensi laughed. "Been waiting for you to jump me."

In Hetty's office, the pack was each sitting in a different chair and Hetty was lecturing them. "I've seen some thick things in my life, but this was just insane. What were you thinking?" She turned around and walked around to the window. The pack started to whine and stood up, slowly walking towards him, stalking him. "Is it drugs? A poor, defenceless pig? How could you?" She noticed them coming toward her. "What are you doing?"

Kensi growled and rolled G onto the floor, so that she was on top of him with his arms pinned down.

"Get off me," G warned, struggling to get out of her grasp.

"Is that really what you want?" asked Kensi, "I think we both know what you really want. You want danger."

"You're in trouble, Kensi," said G, "You're infected by hyena possession and, in a few hours, it's going to tear you apart! Literally!"

"Dangerous and mean, right?" Kensi asked, ignoring her warning, "Like Nell, your mystery girl. You like your girls dangerous. Well, guess who just got mean."

"Now stop that!" Hetty warned the pack as they drew closer, "You're only going to make things worse for yourselves. Now I'll tell you how this is going to work. I'm going to call security and they're going to take you home." She reached for the phone, but Rhonda knocked it off the table with so much force that it broke.

"Whoops," said Rhonda.

"That's it!" Hetty said. She tried to get past them, but Tor knocked her into her chair.

"Do you know how long I've waited," Kensi kept ranting as G continued to struggle, "until you'd stop pretending we aren't attracted?" G finally threw her off him and they both stood up. Kensi slowly approached him as he backed away. "Until Sam stops kidding himself that he might actually have a chance with me? That I'd settle with anyone besides you?"

"Look, Kensi," said G, "I don't want to hurt you."

She pushed him into the wall. "Now do you want to hurt me? Come on, Slayer. I know you like it when you're scared."

"You're this close to expulsion, people!" Hetty warned, "I'm willing to talk so that we can discuss-" She started to get up, but Heidi pinned her to her chair and Tor climbed up onto her desk. "Now you get down from there this instant!" Rhonda simply scratched her on the arm, tearing apart her jacket and making her arm gush blood. "Are you insane?" Tor jumped onto him as Hetty knocked him into the wall. "Now I'm mad!"

G came into the library, dragging Kensi's unconscious body behind him.

Sam stood up. "Kensi!" He ran over to them. "What did you do?"

"I hit her," said G, dragging Kensi to Owen's desk and handcuffing her.

"With what?" Sam prompted.

"A desk," G answered, standing up, "She tried her hand at sexual assault. I think it's safe to say that, in her animal state, his idea of wooing doesn't involve a classical CD and a bottle of ice-cold lemonade. Where's Granger?"

"He got called to a director's meeting," Sam answered, "How're we gonna get Kensi back?"

G shrugged. "Right now," he said as Owen came into his office behind him, "I'm a little more concerned about what the rest of the pack is up to."

"The rest of the pack were spotted outside the pig's cage and taken to the Hetty's office," said Giles, "They tried to eat her."

G was shocked. "They tried to eat Hetty?"

"The official theory is that wild dogs got into her office and attacked her," said Owen, "There were no witnesses."

"Granger, we have to stop this," said G, "How do you trans-possess someone?"

"I'm afraid I still don't have all the details we need," Owen explained, "the accounts are pretty thin, but…" He picked up a book and flipped through it. "Yes, we should be able to transfer the spirits to another human."

"Great, any volunteers?" asked G.

"Point taken," said Giles, putting the book back on the table.

"So what we have to do is put the hyena back in the hyena," said G. He thought for a couple seconds and then snapped his fingers as an idea hit him. "I'll bet that zookeeper knows something. He probably didn't quarantine the hyenas because they were sick. We should go talk to him. Wait…who's gonna watch Kensi?"

"Oh, I'll do it!" Sam said, raising his hand.

"Sam, you can't!" G objected, "What if she wakes up?"

"I'll be alright," said Sam, holding out his hand for the keys, "Go!"

G hesitated but finally gave him the keys. He turned to Giles. "Let's go."

Later, Kensi woke up. She looked around to see herself locked to the desk. Sam was on the computer on a table, not far away. "Sam?"

Kensi looked over at her and half-smiled. "How you feeling?"

"Like somebody hit me with a desk," Kensi responded, "Why am I tied to the desk?"

"Because you're sick," Sam answered, quickly thinking up an excuse, just in case, "G thought that-"

"Oh, G's all-purpose solution," Oliver interrupted, "Punch 'em out and knock 'em down. I'd love to see what he does with someone who _is_ sick."

"Hey, G saved both our lives!" Sam objected.

"Before he came here, our lives were great. Weren't things a lot simpler when they were just you and me? Sam, I know there's something wrong with me and I think it's getting worse. I need you to help. And if I'm so dangerous, how come G left you alone with me?"

"Because I told him to. I know you better than he does. I wanted to be here to see if you were still you." He walked closer to her so that they were inches apart and then jumped back just in time to stop her from grabbing the keys. "Now I know."

Kensi started shaking the desk while Sam sat back down. "Let me GO!"

"The agents have been possessed by hyenas?" asked the zookeeper, once G and Owen had finished going over the story in his office.

"Yes, but you don't seem too shocked about it," Owen answered.

"Those hyenas were imported from Africa," the zookeeper explained, "There was something strange about them from day 1. I did some research and found that that particular breed is very rare and vicious. They were worshipped by these creepy guys. They had rituals for taking the hyenas' spirits and I think that's what could have happened to your agents. And I think we may have enough information to induce a trans-possession. You just have to get those possessed agents here."

"Well, we can guarantee you one of them," G explained, "but there are 4 more and we don't know where any of them are."

"Don't worry," the zookeeper instructed, "Once they've tried to feed and rested, they'll track down the missing member of their pack and they should come right to you.

G then realized the severity of his decision to leave Kensi in Owen's office with only one guard. "Oh no. Sam!"

The windows near the roof of the wall opened to reveal Kyle and Heidi. "Sam…Sam…"

"Cut it out, Kensi!" Sam scolded, not realizing that she wasn't the one calling his name. When they called his name again, he realized the sound was coming from the window and looked up. Kyle and Heidi jumped in and Sam got up and ran from the Office. While Sam was running down the hall, the pack all got together and banged down the door to the cage. While Kensi led the others out of the office and began to track him, Sam was trying a bunch of locked doors to find a hiding place and finally got to an open one. He went inside and hid under a teacher's desk while the pack was catching up on his scent.

Kensi and Heidi came to the door that Sam had gone through and went inside. As Sam kept silent under the desk, Kensi looked around, saw nothing, and motioned to the door. When Sam heard the door close, he stood up. He headed for the door and noticed that Kensi was still there. Sam screamed and backed up into the wall. Kensi growled and leaped at him but he ducked out of the way just in time. He ran to the other side of the room before she could get up, knocked down a student desk to slow her down, and then ran through the door…and bumped into Heidi.

But before Heidi could pounce, G came up behind her and hit her in the back of the head with a fire extinguisher, knocking her out. G helped Sam stand up and they began to run down the hall. As Owen came up, Kensi came out of the classroom and jumped G.

"Run!" Owen commanded Sam, leading him down the hall to a broom closet.

G pushed Kensi away and went into the broom closet with Sam and Owen, closing and locking the door behind him.

The whole pack pounded on the door on the other side, but the lock and G's Slayer strength held it up, so they left.

"I think they're gone," G said.

"They could be faking it," Sam suggested.

"No," G corrected, "They want meat and they'll be looking for someone weak who can't fight back. Sam, I'm sorry. I should have never left you alone with Kensi. I didn't know the others would come for you, too!"

"It's OK," Sam said, "I mean, I almost died, but I'm OK!"

"We have to lead them back to the zoo to stop this," Owen said.

"And before their next meal," G said, "Guess that's my job."

"G, as individuals, they're almost as strong as you," Owen said, "As a group, they're-"

"They're tough," G said, "but I think they're getting stupider. You guys go to the zoo and wait. I'll lead them to you."

A family came out of their house and headed to their car.

"I didn't say 'She looks better than you,'" said the husband/dad, "I said 'She looks better.'"

"I heard what I heard," said the wife/mom as they got into the car.

"I don't see why we have to have this conversation every time we see them," said the guy.

"I didn't start it," said the woman as she put on her seatbelt.

As the guy put on his seatbelt, he looked at the ignition. "Man, where are the keys?"

"Joey…Joey…"

As the family looked around to see who was calling the little boy's name, Kyle got onto the roof and looked into Joey's window. As soon as the mom caught sight of him, she screamed. Heidi and Rhonda jumped onto the roof, too, and started pounding on the car as Oliver came up to the boy's window. Kensi broke the window and reached in for Joey.

As the mom started to attempt to protect her son, G ran up and pushed Rhonda off the roof. He jumped onto the roof and kicked Kyle, knocking him into Heidi and pushing them both to the ground and onto Tor and Kensi. "Didn't your mom's teach you? Don't play with your food!" The pack all stood up and looked at him as he put his hands on his hips. "Come on. You know what you want. Come get it." He turned and jumped off the car, running down the street as the pack followed him at full speed.

Sam led Owen down the pathway in the zoo. "Alright, this is the path to the Hyena House." He looked around. "Where's the zookeeper?"

"He's inside, getting things ready," Giles explained, "You go back and come to warn us when you hear the pack and G approaching."

Sam nodded and ran off.

Owen went into the Hyena House. "Doctor…uh, Zookeeper?" The zookeeper came out into the open, dressed entirely in some blue robe. "Of course, the Masai ceremonial garb. Are you otherwise prepared for the trans-possession?"

"Almost," said the zookeeper, nodding.

Owen looked at the floor and noticed some red markings. "Ah, yes, the sacred circle. You would need that to…wait, this would be here when the children first arrived. Why would you-" He stopped in mid-sentence and sighed as he realized what was going on. "It must be very frustrating for you, knowing that school children were able to accomplish something you never could do."

"It bothered me," the zookeeper answered, picking up a staff, "but the power will be mine." Owen started to run, but the zookeeper kicked him in the stomach and knocked him back. He used the staff to knock the Watcher in the face and Owen finally fell to the ground, unconscious. He dropped the staff and dragged Owen off out of sight.

Meanwhile, Sam looked around the zoo and heard G approaching with the pack right behind her. Sam quickly turned around and ran into the Hyena House. "They're almost here!" He noticed that the zookeeper was there, but Owen and the hyenas weren't. "Where are the hyenas for the trans-possession?"

"In the feeding area." Sam ran over to see them, but he held him back. "I wouldn't do that. They haven't been fed."

"Where's Granger?"

"He's…lying in wait."

"Well, then shouldn't we bring the hyenas out?"

"Soon enough," said the zookeeper, taking out some rope and beginning to tie his wrists together, "I'm going to need your help."

"They're right behind me!" G yelled outside.

"That's G," Sam said, "We better get ready." The zookeeper pushed him in front of him. "What are you doing?"

The zookeeper took out a knife and held it to his throat. "A predatory act, remember?"

"Oh," Sam said, not catching on, "Right. You pretend to slash my throat and it puts the evil back in the hyenas."

"Something like that."

"What?" Sam then realized what was going on. He whimpered helplessly as G came in. "G, it's a trap!"

Before G could say or do anything, Kensi came up behind him and knocked him to the ground. The rest of the pack came running in, too. The zookeeper chanted something and the pack looked up at him. Their eyes flashed green, and then his eyes flashed green. The zookeeper dropped the knife, turned to Sam, growled, and moved in to bite him.

"Sam!" Kensi got up and ran over to the 2. As soon as she was over there, she kicked the guy, knocking him away from Sam.

As the zookeeper got up and started hitting Kensi, G got up, leaving the rest of the pack in confusion, and started fighting the guy. Kensi considered this a free moment and started to release Sam from his bonds. G finally pinned the zookeeper and then threw him into the hyena pit. Before he could escape, the hyenas dragged him back in and started munching on his flesh. Kyle and Co. took that opportunity and ran out.

G clapped his hands together. "Well, that takes care of that."

Owen then came in, groaning weakly. "Did I miss anything?"

G, Sam, and Kensi were walking across the balcony of the work.

"I heard Vance is taking over until Hetty's better," said Sam.

"OK, but I had nothing to do with that, right?" Kensi asked.

"No, you were too busy attacking me," said G.

"But you did eat a pig," Sam said.

Kensi rapidly looked back and forth at the 2 boys. "I ate a pig? Was it cooked and called bacon or-" Sam and G both shook their heads. Kensi groaned and buried her head in her hands. "I ate a pig! I mean, the whole trichinosis issue aside, yuck!"

"Well, it wasn't really you," said G, "It was the hyena inside you."

"Actually, all I remember is going up to the Hyena House on a case," Kensi explained, "Next thing I know, some guy's coming at Sam with a knife!"

"If it helps, you saved my life," said Sam.

"Hey, nobody messes with my best guy bud."

"Hey!" G said.

"One of my 2 best guy buds," Kensi quickly corrected herself.

G smiled. "This is the superior Kensi Blye. Accept no substitutes."

"I didn't do anything else serious, did I?"

G and Sam looked at each other for a few seconds and then shook their heads. "No."

"Good," Kensi said as the guys walked off.

Owen came up to Kensi. "I've been reading up on the animal possession and I can't seem to find anything on memory loss afterwards."

"You won't tell them, will you?" asked Kensi. Owen gave him a look for a couple seconds. "Please?"

Owen smiled. "Your secret dies with me."

"Thanks, man, I owe you one." Kensi walked off. As soon as Owen was out of sight, she shook her head. "What is wrong with me?"

**END EPISODE**


	7. Nell

**G the vampire slayer**

Chapter 7: Nell

Collin (the Anointed One) was in the Master's laying, throwing pebbles into the pond.

"Zachary didn't return from his hunt last night," the Master said as Darla walked in.

"The Slayer," Darla said.

"Zachary was strong," the Master complained, "Collin, what would you do?"

"I'd annihilate her," Collin said.

The Master sighed. "Out of the mouths of babes…"

"Allow me, Master," said Darla.

"You seem to have a personal interest in this," the Master said. Darla looked at her feet in remorse. "I will send the Three."

Darla looked up at him, excited, intrigued, and surprised at the same time. "The Three?"

3 tough guys were in the alleyway down the street from the Bronze. Just when they were about to cross over to the Bronze, 3 great big Vamps (the Three, of course) came along. The tough guys saw them coming and scurried off in the other direction.

G, Kensi, and Sam were sitting at a table in the Bronze, surrounded by kids chasing after cockroaches and squashing them.

"Ah, the Fumigation Party," said Sam, "The annual tradition of closing the Bronze for a few days to nuke the cockroaches."

"Actually I'm kind of thinking about…things right now," said G.

"Are we talking about your friends coming over to celebrate…" Sam looked around to make sure no one was listening and then the 3 of them leaned in. "…to celebrate your new job and actually being able to keep it from more than a month!"

"Pretty much," G explained, "I'm kind of concerned about Tyler and Josh being stuck in the same room."

"Let me guess: the whole fight started over a girl," Kensi guessed.

"You got it," said G, "Tyler was having a summer romance. But then Josh bounced in and…well, that was pretty much all he had to do. And Tyler never forgave him for stealing the love of her life."

Kensi and Sam gasped. "No!"

"Yes."

"No," Sam said.

"Yes!"

"No," Sam said again.

"YES!" Kensi said, annoyed at Sam's constant retort, "Can we move on now?"

"Well, while we're on the subject of girls, what about Nell?" Lilly asked.

"Oh, yeah, I can just see her in a relationship," said G, "'Hi! Your life's in danger. See you next month!'"

"She's not around much, it's true," said Sam.

"Yeah, but…" G sighed, searching for the right words. "It's like, when she is around, it's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know that?"

Sam glanced at Kensi and smiled. "I sure do."

"Yeah, and…when we're together, it feels like we're the only 2 people in the room."

Sam gasped. "They saw that's what happens with true love!" G got up as Sam gazed at the ceiling in awe. "At your wedding, I'll be able to say that Kensi and I had been sitting right here when you…" He realized G was leaving. "…COMPLETELY IGNORED ME AND WALKED AWAY!"

G turned to look back at them. "Sorry, but I think I'm gonna call it a night. You know, big day tomorrow with the Friends Feud."

"But don't you wanna stay for like 3 more minutes, maybe dance a little," asked Kensi.

"Rain check?" G shrugged and ran off. "BYE!"

Sam sighed and looked at the floor. "Oh, look, a cockroach!" He stomped it and rested his foot on the table, looking at Kensi. "Wanna free drink?"

"I'm good."

G walked out the door, not noticing Nell looking through the window behind him.

"True love, huh?" Nell said to herself.

G thought he sensed something (he might have heard him talking) and turned around, but Nell had already left so he turned back and walked down the street. Halfway down the street, he sensed something again and turned to look behind him. "Alright, it's late, I'm tired, I'm not playing games. Show yourself!" As one of the Three came out behind him, he, in one rapid-fire motion, took a stake from his pocket and turned around to stake the Vamp. But before he could, another of the Three came in from behind him and grabbed his arm, breaking the stake in half as the other coming out and grabbing the other. "OK, look, guys, I don't wanna fight you…unless I have to." He kicked the first one in the groin, elbowed the second one, and attempted to punch the last one in the nose. But before he could make his final move, the last one kneed him in the gut, knocking him into a fence that was blocking off an alleyway. The other 2 recovered and held him down as the last one approached him, baring his fangs and preparing to strike.

Before he could attack her, Nell appeared from behind him and punched him, knocking him down. "Good dogs don't bite!"

G took advantage of the moment to push himself up with her feet and kick the other 2 in the face. As he began to fight the first one, Nell continuously kicked and punched the other 2. Just when G ran out of breath and thought he could take a break and let Nell help, the Vampire he was attacking ripped an iron bar from a window and hurried to attack Nell. "Nell, look out!"

Nell finally knocked down the other 2 and quickly turned around, only to be sliced in the chest with the bar.

G ran over and kicked the Vamp in the gut. As soon as he was off, he punched him in the face and helped Nell up. "Run!" The 2 of them ran down the street, but the Three gave chase. G led Nell halfway down the beach and finally found his house. He got to the door, opened it, and ran inside. "Hurry! Get in!" He called after Nell.

Nell came in and closed and locked the door. "Don't worry," she told G as the Three came up, looking through the glass door, "A Vampire can't come in unless it's invited.

"Oh, good, then we don't have to close the back way," G said, gesturing to the door on the other side of the balcony, 15 feet away. He then stopped panting and noticed how her shirt was cut open…and her skin. "You're bleeding."

Nell looked down at the blood stain. "Oh, it's…just a scratch."

"After hearing you screaming in the alleyway, I seriously doubt that." He sighed and stood up straight. "I'll go upstairs and get the First Aid kit, you…take off your jacket and shirt."

Nell went over to the kitchen on the other side of the living room and took off her jacket.

G came back down and noticed a tattoo on her back shoulder as she took off her shirt. "Nice tattoo…Anyway, I was lucky you came along." He went over and opened the box. "Why were you there anyway?"

"I was in the neighbourhood."

"So you weren't following me?"

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. You're Mystery Girl who shows up everywhere. You're like…the entire League of Extraordinary Gentlemen all wrapped up in 1."

"Huh?"

"You see?" He finished bandaging her. "There."

"So will I live?"

"I think the odds are in your favour."

"Hey, G!" the 2 heard a call from outside.

"Oh, boy, Eric! (whose staying with G)" G ran over to the door that led to the back balcony. "Hi, Eric! It sure is nice outside, but it's kind of cool. Why don't we come inside?" He pulled him in and closed the door.

"Uh, what are you so worked up about?"

"Well, you know, there are…a lot of crazy people outside at night."

"Hey, G!"

"Oh boy!" G turned around to see his half-brother Mason coming down the stairs.

Mason came over to join the group. "OK, I just got off the phone with Coop and we both agree that 1. You're an idiot and 2. Los Angeles's first Football match is going to be attracting chicks from all over so I need you to flash you're badge and get us some good seats."

"I'll give you a seat in the balcony so high that your nosebleed will have a nosebleed."

"Well, now, think about this way, G," said Eric, going over to put his arm around Mason's shoulder, "He meets a hot girl, they fall in love, they get married, he moves out."

"Agreed," G said.

"Sweet!" Mason then noticed Nell in the living room putting her jacket back on. "Who's this?"

"Uh…" G raced over to Nell. "Nell, this is Eric and my snot-nose Half-brother, Mason. Mason, Eric, this is Nell."

"Hey," said Mason, crossing his arms.

"Hey," Nell said.

"Yeah, we, uh, ran into each other on the way home." G gestured to Eric to let him know that she had helped him with the Vampires and Eric gave her a look. He pointed to his heart to indicate staking (which, ironically, they hadn't done any of) and he still didn't get it. So he mouthed to him: "Vampires!" Eric seemed to get it then. Mason seemed to be too interested in Nell to notice G's strange behaviour.

"So, uh, Nell," Mason said, clapping his hands together and going over to them, "what do you do?"

"Uh, she's a student!" G said. Mason gave him a look as though he didn't believe him. "At the community college."

"Hmm." Mason looked at his watch. "Well, I'm gonna go…hit the hay."

"And by that you mean spend the next 20 minutes in the shower shampooing your hair?" G called after him.

"Leave me my pride, boy!"

"Wow," G mouthed to no one in particular.

"So, Vamp thing, huh?" Eric said, "I miss all the fun."

"You know?" Nell asked. Eric nodded. Nell turned to G. "He knows?"

"He kind of got taken by my first vamp here," G explained.

"Yeah, I couldn't let my best friend into trouble," Eric said. Both of them gave him looks. "OK, he stole my car keys!"

"It's not like I was intending to go anywhere!" G yelled.

"Hey, G!" they heard Mason yell from upstairs, "Is that boy leaving yet?"

"Uh, he's leaving right now!" G yelled. He went over to the door, opened it, looked around to make sure the Three were gone, and then slammed the door shut as loud as she could. "Eric, get out now!"

"Why?" Eric asked, "I'd just love to watch you get in trouble."

"OK, but could you do it from your room?" G asked, "I'll use my Slayer strength to punch you one of those little peep holes in the wall."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep," Eric going to his room.

G led Nell up the stairs, tiptoed to his room, led her in, and quietly shut the door.

"Look," Nell said, "I don't wanna get you in any more trouble."

"And I don't wanna get you dead," G retorted, "They could still be out there!" He went over to the window, looked out, and closed it. "So…oh." He realized the flaw in his plan. "OK, 2 of us, 1 bed. Uh, you take the bed."

"No, I'll take the floor," Nell argued.

"Uh, you don't have to," G reassured, "I mean, we could probably both fit in the bed."

"Trust me, I've been worse," Nell said, grabbing a blanket and sprawling it out on the floor.

"OK, uh…you go check to see if the Fang Gang is still loitering and, uh…keep your back turned while I change?"

Nell nodded and went over to open the window and then stood out on the balcony to give G a few minutes. _I wonder…no, stop it, you can't like him. It's too dangerous. Then again—_

"So?"

Nell turned around and noticed that G was now in his pyjamas.

"Uh, I don't see them." Nell came back in and closed the window/doors.

"You know," G said, putting his hand on his hip, "I'm the Chosen One. I'm supposed to fight guys like that. What's your excuse?"

"Somebody has to."

G scoffed. "So that's what you family thinks as a…viable career choice?" He started laughing.

"Actually, my family's dead."

G stopped laughing. "Oh…was it Vampires?"

"It…" She sighed. "It was _a_ Vampire."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"It's OK. It was a long time ago."

"So this is a vengeance gig for you."

"Well…the guy who killed them has been gone for a while now, but…I think the world needs some protection."

G smiled and got in the bed. Nell lay down next to him. "Sleep tight." He turned over on his side and then realized something and turned back. "Nell?" Nell looked up at him. "Do you snore?"

"I don't know. It's been a long time since anyone's been in a position to let me know."

"She spent the night?" Kensi asked the next morning in Owen's office, "In your room? In your bed?"

"Not _in_ my bed!" G objected, "_By_ my bed!"

"Oh, that is so romantic!" Sam said. G smiled.

Owen came over with a book. "Now, G, you left the Bronze and encountered three unusual Vampires." He held the book down so that he could see the picture. "Did they look like this?"

"That's them," G answered.

"It appears you've encountered the Three. Warrior Vampires, very proud and very strong."

"How is it you always know this stuff?" asked Sam.

"I was up from midnight until 6 am researching it."

"Oh."

"Obviously, you're hurting the Master very much," Owen explained, "He wouldn't send the Three for just anyone. We'll have to step up training with weapons."

"Oh, hey, G, you could stay at Sam's house until these guys are out of the picture," Kensi suggested.

Sam and G both looked at him. "What?"

"Now, now, don't worry about Nell," Kensi said, "I can run to your house and tell him to get out of town really fast. I'll bet he'd enjoy Disneyland."

"Nell and G are in no immediate danger," Owen corrected, "Having failed the Master to catch their victim, the Three will hand down their lives."

In the Master's lair, the Three were kneeled before Collin, Darla, and the Master, one of them holding a spear.

"We have failed you, Master," said the one with the spear, handing the spear to Darla, "We offer you our lives as penance." Darla took the spear and started to walk around the Three.

"Pay attention, child," the Master said, kneeling down next to Collin, "You are the Anointed and there is much you must learn. With power comes responsibility. True, they did fail, but we who walk by night share a common bond. The taking of a life, and I'm not talking about humans', of course, is a serious matter."

"So you would spare them?" Collin asked.

"I am weary. And their deaths will bring me little joy."

Darla smiled and dug the wooden end of the spear deep into the first of the Three's heart.

The Master winced and led Collin away as Darla moved on to the next one. "Of course, sometimes a little is enough."

As G examined the weapons cabinet, Owen laid out a sign on his office door that read: "Office closed. Please come back tomorrow."

G picked up a crossbow. "Cool, a crossbow!" He picked out a bolt and began to load it. "Goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality! So what can I shoot?" He accidentally hit the trigger and the bolt went flying across that room and smashing the window.

"Nothing." Owen took the crossbow from him and put it back in the cabinet. "The crossbow comes later. You must first become proficient with the basic tools of combat. Let's begin with the quarterstaff. It will require hours of vigorous training and I speak from experience." G rolled her eyes. "En garde!" He moved in to hit him, but G ducked out of the way and used his own wooden staff to pull his feet out from under him, making him drop his staff and fall to the ground. "OK, let's move on to the crossbow."

G came into his house. "Hey, is Josh here yet?"

Mason and Eric came over. "He arrived a couple hours ago and now he's in the guest room. Your Tyler's on the way now."

"And by the way, are you sure you can't give up your room?" Eric asked, begging.

"Sorry, my room's occupied," G said, sitting down on the couch, "Oh, man, this is really gonna mess up your back." He laughed. "So where's Tyler?"

Just then, they heard a crash and a cat screech.

"That must be him," said Mason.

"How can you be so sure?" Eric asked.

"Tip? You want a tip? If you are not gonna use deodorant, make sure your back windows roll down!"

"Just a hunch," Mason said.

After a couple seconds, in walked Tyler.

"Tyler!" Mason and G both said, running over to him.

"There they are!" Tyler said, "My best friend, G, and his idiotic brother Mason." He winked at him.

G smiled and gave him a thumbs-up. "This is great. My first great job and everyone I love is here to help me celebrate! You…" He tried to whisper the next part. "…Josh…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Tyler interrupted, "Back this tractor trailer up. You're telling me that 5-pound baloney in a 3-pound bag of-"

"OK, let's not waste our time fighting," G said, "This is a big week for me so could you promise to try to be nice? Please?"

"OK, I'll chillax." Everyone gave him weird looks. "What?"

G went over to Eric and whispered so that Tyler couldn't hear her. "OK, that is just weird."

Just then, Josh came into the room in a bright green bathrobe. "Hey." He walked over to the group. "I can see dolphins from my guestroom."

"Well, that's nothing, there's a snot-green blowfish right here in the living room," said Tyler, going over to him.

"Now, Tyler, if you're gonna be mean, talk to the bootie," Josh said, "Cause the hand's off duty!"

"Well, I would love to, but that bootie has been nipped and tucked so many times, I just can't hardly find it!"

"Well, I ain't having no problem finding yours!"

G pulled the 2 of them in for a hug. "Friends! So great to have you here."

"Good times!" Mason said, coming into the hug, too, "Good times!"

G came into his room that night. Nell was over by the window. "Hey. I brought you some dinner. It's a little plate-less, sorry." He handed her a plastic bag full of chicken. Nell smiled and accepted it anyway.

"So, what'd you do all day?" G asked.

"I read a little."

G turned his head and noticed his journal on his bedside table. "You read my diary! That is so…I don't even have a word for that! You can't just go pilfering around in other people's private lives! And…that whole thing about your eyes being 'penetrating'…I meant to say 'bulging'!"

"G…"

"And 'hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And 'N' doesn't even stand for Nell for that matter, it…it stands for Narissa, a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy thing was a-"

"Your brother snuck in and read your diary," Nell corrected, "I was in the closet all day. I didn't touch it, I promise you."

"Oh!" He then realized what he'd just said. "Oh."

"I did a lot of thinking today, though," Nell said, "And I probably shouldn't be around you."

"Hey, no problem, I'll build a bridge and get over it!"

"Clever, but…I was talking about how much I wanna kiss you."

"I could even build a dam and…kiss me?"

"I'm older than you and…this can't ever…" She sighed. "I have to go."

"Uh, how much older are we talking?"

"I should-"

"…go. But…you said." He moved in and they kissed. G put his arm around her.

_I was afraid this was going to happen. Why was I afraid again? Oh, right. It's time to show him. _Nell pulled back.

"Uh, are you OK?"

Nell looked back at him…with her game face on.

G screamed as Nell jumped out the window and went running down the beach.

Mason came busting in the door, swinging a stuffed raccoon. "G, what's going on?"

"Uh, nothing, I, uh…saw a shadow." He then noticed the raccoon. "What were you gonna do? Raccoon 'em to smithereens?"

"I just grabbed what was on my nightstand."

"You keep an angry raccoon on your nightstand?"

"Bro, Buster's also a light." He hit a button and the raccoon's mouth lit up.

Eric then came bursting in, waving around a stuffed badger. "I heard shouting! What's going on?"

"Why does everyone have a light-up critter but me?" G complained.

"What? Oh, Dave doesn't light up. He's a pencil sharpener. You just, uh, lift his tail-"

"I don't need to see that!" G said, blocking his eyes.

The next morning at work, Sam, Kensi, and Owen were all sitting down on a bench next to G, listening to his story.

"Nell's a Vampire?" Sam asked, shocked.

"I can't believe this is happening," G said, "One minute we were kissing and the next…" He sighed and turned to Owen. "Can a Vampire be a good person?"

"G, a Vampire's not even a person at all," Owen corrected, "It may have the appearance, the memories, and maybe even the personality of the person it took over but it's still a demon."

"So, that'd be a 'no'?" Sam asked.

"Well, then what was she doing?" asked G, "Why was she so good to me? Was it all part of the Master's plan? It just doesn't make any sense!"

"OK, you have a problem," said Kensi, "But, you're the Slayer, she's a Vampire. I think it's pretty obvious what you have to do. And I know you have feelings for the girl but it's not like you were in love with…" She stopped when she saw G's look. "Oh boy, you're in love with a Vampire? Are you crazy?"

"What?"

Everyone turned and saw Heidi standing right next to them.

"Uh, not Vampire!" Kensi turned back to G. "How could you love an umpire? Everybody hates 'em!"

Heidi rolled her eyes and then noticed that the girl Rhonda was talking to was wearing the same dress as her. "HEY!" She ran over to the girl. "Where did you get that dress? This is a one-of-a-kind! Are you wearing a knock-off?" She checked the girl's tag. "This is a knock-off!"

"And you think we have problems?" G asked Owen.

Nell walked into her apartment. She went over to her deck and turned on a lamp. Then she sensed a presence in the room. "Who's here?"

"A friend." Nell turned to face the voice and saw Darla come out of the darkness in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit. "Hi. It's been a long time."

"A lifetime."

"Or 2, but who's counting."

"What's up with the Catholic schoolgirl look? Last time I saw you it was kimonos."

"Well, last time I saw you, it wasn't high-school-pop-stars-in-training." She flared the skirt. "Don't you like it?" Nell gave her a look. She sighed and dropped the skirt, beginning to approach her. "I like the place. You're living above ground, like one of them." She went over to the window. "But guess what? You're not one of them." She opened the blinds, letting in a stream of sunlight. Nell scrambled out of the way, falling backwards onto the floor. "You never will be."

"No, but I'm not exactly one of you either," Nell said, standing up.

Darla scoffed. "Is that what you tell yourself these days?" She went over to the fridge and opened it to reveal bags and bottles of pig's blood. "You're not exactly living off quiche." She sighed and closed the door. "We both know what you want." She walked over to her. "Come on, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's who we are…what we are. It's what makes eternal life worth living. You can only hold back your true nature for so long. You can feel it brewing inside of you. I hope I'm around when it explodes."

"Maybe you don't want to be," Nell argued.

"I'm not scared of you." Darla began to walk off, avoiding the stream of sunlight. "But maybe he is. Go ahead, tell him about the curse. Do you think it's going to make him think any different of you? 'Cause if it doesn't…you know where to find me." She cackled and walked out of the apartment, leaving behind a very angered and aggrieved Nell to ponder her [many] words.

G, Sam, and Kensi were looking through books in the library.

Owen came over to the group with another book. "I think I may have found something."

"Oh, finally," said Kensi, closing her book.

"I couldn't find anything in the texts about any Nell," Owen said, "but then it occurred to me that I haven't read the diaries of the Watchers before me in ages."

"Wasn't it kind of embarrassing when you thought she read your diary?" Sam asked G, "But she hadn't, Mason had, and then you realized that you had poured your heart out to her and she felt the same way. I mean, it's just so roman-" He then realized that everyone was giving him looks. "I'm listening."

"Apparently, some 200 years ago in Ireland, she went by the name of Nellus, the demon with the face of an angel."

"Well, they got that part right," said G.

"I'm not saying anything," said Kensi, "I have nothing to say."

"Does Nell have a tattoo behind her right shoulder?" Owen asked G.

"Yeah, it's a…bird of something."

"OK, now I'm saying something," Kensi objected, "You saw him naked?"

"So Nell's been around for a while?" Sam asked Owen in order to quickly change the subject.

"Yes, 240 years," Owen answered.

"240?" G said, "Well, she did say she was older."

"Uh…Nelllus leaves Ireland, wreaks havoc in Europe for nearly 150 years, and then…huh."

"'Huh' what?" asked G.

"The strangest thing," Owen said, "She comes to America, shuns other Vampires, and lives alone. And there's no record of her hunting here or anything."

"So she is a good Vampire!" Sam rejoiced, "I mean on a scale of 1-10, 10 being someone who maims and kills every night and 1 being someone who…doesn't."

"I said that there's no record," said Owen, "But Vampires hunt and kill, it's what they do."

"Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly."

G groaned when he heard that voice. "How long have you been here, Mason?"

Mason walked over to them. "About 10 minutes. Who're your friends?"

"Hi, I'm Sam Hanna," Sam said, holding out his hand.

"Oh, trust me, Sam, you don't wanna do that," G warned. Sam pulled his hand back.

"Kensi Blye," Kensi said.

Owen walked over to Mason. "You must be G's older brother, Mason."

"In the flesh. I knew something was up with this Nell girl since the first moment I saw her."

"You mean 2 nights ago?" G asked.

"Yeah."

"But she could have fed off me," G said, "And she didn't!"

"Uh, question!" Kensi said, leaning forward, "About 100 or so years ago, what was she like then?"

"Just like all the others," Owen answered, "A vicious, killing monster."

"Don't think I'm not grateful," Darla told the Master, "for you letting me kill the Three."

"How can my children learn if I do everything for them?" asked the Master.

"Then let me kill the Slayer!" Darla objected.

"Are _you_ giving _me_ orders now?"

"Oh, then we just sit back and do nothing while we let him kill us off one by one!"

"Am I sensing a plan, Darla? Share…"

Darla smiled. "Nell kills him and comes into the fold."

"Nell? She was the most vicious killer I ever met."

"I know. I miss her."

"Why would she kill her if she feels for him?"

"To keep him from killing her."

The Master smiled and turned to Collin. "You see how we all work together to our common goal? That's how a family is supposed to function!"

"OK, so let's review," Sam told G as they sat on separate ends of the table in Owen's office, "Evidence is?" G made no response. Sam banged on the table. "G!"

"WHAT?" G leaned in closer. Sam gave him a look. "Oh, right, uh…evidence…uh."

"What you find at a crime scene first discovered in 1896," Sam corrected.

"Right, 1896, during which Nell was already 100-years-old and-"

"G. Are we going to talk about girls or help you pass crime scene test?" G sighed and leaned back in his chair. Sam closed his book. "You know, sometimes I…have this fantasy that Kensi is just going to sweep me off my feet and…kiss me."

G smiled. "That's kind of sweet." He banged his hands on the table. "If you want her, you better SPEAK UP, mate!"

"No! No speaking up! That way leads to madness! MADNESS, I TELL YOU!" While Sam was caught up in her rant, neither girl seemed to notice Darla in the shadows. "OK, so here's something I gotta know: when Nell kissed you, I mean, before she went all bumpy-face, what was it like?" Darla was taken aback.

G smiled again. "Unbelievable!"

"Wow, it just screams TV series!" Sam said, "Or movie at least. I mean, a Slayer who probably won't live past 21 in love with a Vampire who's going to stay young and handsome forever. And oh, what about the children?" He then caught G's look. "That was way more romantic than disturbing and kind of morbid in my head."

G smiled. "It's OK, I need to hear this. I need to get over her so that I can…do what I have to do. Like Kensi said, I'm a Slayer, she's a Vampire…oh, Sam, I CAN'T DO IT! She's never done anything to hurt me!" He sighed. "No, I…I need to stop thinking about this. Let's do this for…about another half hour and see if it sinks in."

"OK." Sam continued to help G study as Darla left.

Eric and Tyler came into the living room of the beach house. Josh was in the kitchen.

"Mason's on a date and we're going to the grocery store," Eric explained.

"Oh, good, that rhinestone hillbilly ought to like it if you can take him to the salon and get him some real hair," Josh said.

"You know what?" Tyler said as he walked over to the door, "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that." He opened the door to reveal Darla on the other side, preparing to knock.

"Oh, hey," Darla said, "I'm Darla, a friend of G's."

"Oh!" Tyler said, "Well, it's nice to meet you."

"He didn't say anything about me coming, did he?"

"Not really," Eric said, thinking he recognised her.

"Well, I'm actually tutoring him in crime scene forensics in about 5 minutes and I thought I'd come early."

"I thought Sam-" Eric started.

"Well, actually, yeah. Sam's teaching him stuff on crime scene evidence but I'm supposed to help him with forensics."

"Oh, well, we're going to the grocery store and he should be home soon," Eric said, "Why don't you come in and wait?"

Darla walked in. "So kind of you to invite me into your house."

"No problem," Eric said, "Later!" He and Tyler left, closing the door behind them.

Josh smiled at her. "So, you're one of G's friends." Darla smiled and nodded. "Would you like something to eat?"

"Yes, I would!" _He's a little older than I'd like, but I can make it work._

Josh opened the fridge. "Let's see what we have. Are you in the mood for something little or something big?"

Darla put the books down, came up behind him, and Vamped out. "Something big."

Outside, Nell came up to the door. She almost knocked but then decided not to and started to back away. Before she could leave the deck, she heard a scream. She came back to the door and tried to open it but Eric and Tyler had locked it, so she kicked it in, revealing Darla biting Josh. "Let him go!" she said, getting closer.

"Oh, I just had a little, there's plenty more." Darla dropped the unconscious body of Miley's best friends into Nell's arms. "Come on, you know you want to. Just say 'yes.'"

Nell could smell the blood. She tried to look away from it, but when she turned back to Darla, she had her game face on.

"Welcome home." Darla turned and walked out the door in the kitchen.

G chose that moment to walk in through the back door. "Eric, I'm home!" He then noticed Nell. The 2 looked at each other in silence for a little while…and G threw her out the back door (which was made of glass, by the way), making her land on his face in the sand outside. "Come back here and I'll kill you." He went back inside, letting Nell go off by herself, and picked up the phone to dial 911. "Josh, can you hear me?" The operator answered. "Yes, I need an ambulance. My best friend cut himself and lost a lot of blood!" He gave them the address and then hung up.

"Hey, G!" Kensi walked in with Sam. Their faces turned from happiness to fright and utter shock when they saw what had happened. "Oh, no…"

"What happened?" asked Sam.

"Nell!"

G, Sam, Kensi, Mason, Eric, and Tyler were gathered around Josh's bed.

"Do you remember anything, Josh?" asked G.

"Well, your friend came over…" Eric started as Owen found the room and came in.

"My friend?"

"Yeah…" Josh said, "I went to start making a snack…I guess I slipped and cut myself with a…doctor said it looked like a barbeque fork."

"We don't have a barbeque fork, Josh," Eric said.

Tyler looked to see Owen. "A-Are you another doctor?"

"Uh, no, I'm assistant director Granger at G's workplace" said Owen, "I came to…pay my regards and wish his friend a safe recovery."

"Wow, they really _do_ care at your work," said Mason.

"Get some rest, Mason," G said as he got up, "Mason, Ty, can you stay and watch him?"

"Does his outfit make him look trampy?" Josh asked in return. Tyler gave him a look.

G rolled his eyes and led Owen, Sam, Kensi, and Eric out of the room. "They treated him, but his blood count was…a little…"

"A little low," Owen finished for him, "It presents itself as mild anemia. You were lucky you got him here as soon as you did-"

"'Lucky'?" G practically shouted, "More like stupid!"

"G!" Eric scolded, "It wasn't your fault!"

"Of course, it was!" G argued, "I'm the one that invited into our house. And even _after_ I knew what she was, I didn't do anything about it! I let this happen, all because…because I had feelings for her."

Eric could see he was beginning to cry. "Oh, no…oh, no, no, no, no, no. Here come the waterworks. G, Look, you'll move on. You'll slay her, Josh will recover, and then you'll get a new girlfriend and everything will go back to…well, not entirely normal."

G half-smiled. "Thanks for trying, Eric, but it didn't work!"

"Eric, G has a point," Sam said, "If you care about someone, then you care about them. You can't change that by-"

"…By killing them?" G completed for him, "Maybe not, but I think it's a start." He walked down the hall and turned the corner.

Owen ran after him, leaving Eric, Sam, and Kensi behind. "G, this is no ordinary Vampire. She knows you, she's faced the Three! This is going to take more than a simple stake."

"I know."

G grabbed the crossbow from the weapons cabinet and placed a few dozen bolts in his bag. He loaded one in the crossbow and aimed it at the training dummy. He held it up, aimed, and fired, nailing it in the exact place the heart would be.

"He's out hunting you right now," Darla told Nell in her apartment, "He wants to kill you."

"Leave me alone," Nell said, walking away from her over to the wall.

"What did you think?" Darla asked her as she walked over to Nell, "That he would look at your face, you true face…and accept it? Yeah, right. For 100 years, you've not had a moment's peace because you will not accept what you are…who you are…when that's all you have to do. Don't let him hunt you down. Don't run crawling out whimpering that a mangy cat! Kill! Feed! Live!"

Nell felt her anger rising and pinned Darla to the wall. "Fine!"

Darla smiled. "What do you want?"

"I want it finished!"

"That's good…you're hurting me." She laughed. "That's good, too."

While G was making his way to the Bronze, knowing that Nell lived nearby, Owen was sitting by Josh's bed with Mason and Tyler, Eric and Sam and Kensi waiting in the hall.

"You know, he talks about you all the time," Mason told Owen, "It's important to have people who…make an impression."

"Well, he's…made quite an impression himself," Owen responded.

"Now, about detective studying," said Mason, "Is it that he's not applying himself or that it's too difficult for him?"

"Well, he kind of lives in the now with-"

"Man, he's studying with Sam, he's studying with Darla, trust me, boy, he's trying," Josh told Mason.

"Darla?" Owen asked, "I don't believe I've met Darla."

"The friend that came over tonight to help her study," Josh said, "Poor thing. I must have scared her half to death. Someone ought to go check on her."

"Of course," Owen said, getting up, "I'll do it!" He ran out.

"That work _is_ amazing!" Tyler said.

Owen led Sam, Eric, and Kensi down the hall and out of earshot of any of the doctors or anyone. "We have a problem."

G came into the Bronze, not seeing Nell gazing at him in the shadows. "I know you're in here! And I know what you are!"

"Do you?" Nell came out of the shadows to reveal herself. G pointed his crossbow at her. "I'm just an animal, right?"

"You're not animal. Animals are good!"

"Let's get this over with." Nell put on her game face. G pointed the crossbow at her, but he just couldn't get himself to pull the trigger. Nell turned back to normal. "Come on! Don't go soft on me now!" G launched it…and the bolt hit the wall behind her. "Little wide."

G took out another bolt to reload it…and got frustrated and just threw it to the side. "Why?" Nell gave him a confused look. "Why didn't you attack me when you had the chance? Slayer…Vampire…you do the math!" He buried his face in his hands. "You know, I've slain a lot of Vampires, but I've never hated one before. I invited you into my home…and then you attacked my friends!"

"Why not? I killed mine. I killed them all! I killed their friends, my old friends, all their children. For over a hundred years, I killed every living thing I met!"

"Well, what changed?" G said. He started inching toward the crossbow.

"I fed on a girl about your age…beautiful…dumb as a post…but a favorite among her clan."

"'Her clan'?" G asked, picking up the crossbow and the bolt.

"Romanian Gypsies. They gave me my soul back as a punishment."

"What, they were all out of the '10 Plagues of Egypt' spells?" G asked, starting to reload the crossbow.

"When you're turned, the demon takes over. It doesn't take your soul. You have no idea how much it hurts to have done the things I've done…and to care. I haven't fed off a single living soul since that day." _Well, except for that guy I turned in the Second World War, but that's an entirely different subject._

"So you started with my…whacked-out…friends?" G asked, holding up the crossbow as a threat.

"I didn't touch him. I would never hurt someone who's dear to you."

G groaned and let the crossbow down. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I wanted to kill you."

"Go ahead." Nell started to take a step but pulled herself back. She couldn't hurt him. She loved him. "Not as easy as it looks, is it?"

"Of course, it is."

G and Nell turned to see Darla coming out of the darkness.

Meanwhile, Eric, Sam, Kensi, and Owen came up to the Bronze.

"We have to go up to the top floor and look for him," Owen said, gesturing to the ladder on the side of the building.

"Uh," Kensi said, "question: what if we find him and he's fighting Nell and a bunch of her friends?"

"He's right," Eric said, "What on earth are we going to do about it?"

"Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?" Darla asked G.

"Bad hair on top of that dumb outfit?" G said.

"To love someone who used to love you."

G looked back and forth between the 2 Vampires. "You guys?"

"I made her." He turned to Nell. "We could have shared everything, Nellus. You could have served with me in the Master's court for 1000 years! Now you'll always remember what it was like to watch 'your true love' die. You don't think I came alone, did you?"

"I know I didn't!" G held up the crossbow.

"Hmm, scary…" Darla pulled out 2 pistols. "Scarier!" She fired and the bullets hit Nell. G whimpered. "Oh, relax! Bullets can't kill Vampires! Hurts like the dickens, but-" She stopped her sentence and fired at G, who dodged out of the way.

Eric was the highest up on the ladder and was thus the first to hear the gunshot and stopped climbing. "Did you hear that?" He then realized what it was and they all scrambled up the ladder and found a way into the building.

Darla was giggling as G scrambled to avoid the shots and balance his crossbow to fire. "So many body parts, so few bullets." G finally got his crossbow straight and fired it. The bolt implanted itself in Darla's abdomen. "Close, but no heart." She took out the arrow and broke it in half.

Eric, Kensi, Sam, and Owen came to the railing on the top floor and saw what was going on.

"We have to distract Darla!" Eric said.

"G!" Sam yelled, getting everyone's attention, "IT WASN'T NELL THAT ATTACKED JOSH IT WAS DARLA!" Darla turned to Sam and shot at them. Sam ducked as he a Kensi reached for their own gun realising that they had left them at the hospital as Eric and Owen pulled them away.

Before Darla could move back to G, Nell came up behind her and pierced her in the heart with the bolt that had hit the wall earlier.

"Nell?" Darla fell down and turned to dust.

G looked at Nell in shock and surprise. Nell simply dropped the bolt on the ground and left.

Collin came up to the Master. "Forget her."

"How can you say that? She was my favorite! For 400 years-"

"You don't need her. She was weak. I will bring you the Slayer. And I will lead him into Hell."

"But to lose him to Nell! She was to sit at my side one day."

"They're all against you. But soon you shall rise. And when you do…we'll kill them all."

"Ah, the post-fumigation party," said Kensi at the Bronze the next night.

"OK, what's the difference between this and the pre-fumigation party?" asked G.

"Much hardier cockroaches," Kensi answered.

"So, what happened with Josh and Tyler?" asked Sam.

"They left this morning," G explained.

"And no word from Nell?" asked Sam.

"No, but…" G smiled. "…it feels like she's still watching over me."

"Well, in a way, she is!" Sam said, "I mean, in the sense that she's standing right over there."

(Demi Lovato's "Stop the World" plays)

G turned to see Nell. He smiled again, got up, and went over to her.

"I don't need to watch, 'cause I'm not being threatened," Kensi said, turning away. She peeked over her shoulder to see G going over to her.

_I don't know why, I don't know why_

_I'm so afraid (I'm so afraid)_

_I don't know how, I don't know how_

_To fix the pain (to fix the pain)_

_We're living a lie, living a lie_

_This needs to change_

_We're out of time, we're out of time_

_And it's still the same…_

"I wanted to see if you were OK," Nell told G, "And your friend."

"I'm fine," G said, "Josh's on the way back home. You?"

"If I can go a little while without getting shot or stabbed, I'll be fine." G smiled. "Look, this can't-"

"Ever be anything," G said, "I know. For one thing, you're…like 224 years older than me."

"I just…I just gotta walk away and-"

"Hey." G wrapped his arm around her. "Me, too. One of us has to go there. And it can't be me because I'm not good at saying stuff like that."

Nell smiled. "I know." They looked at each other for a few more moments and then gazed into each other's eyes and kissed passionately.

…_We can't stop the world_

_But there's so much more that we could do_

_You can't stop this girl_

_From falling more in love with you…_

"What's going on?" Oliver asked Lilly, not willing to spy anymore.

"Oh, nothing."

"Well, as long as they're not kissing." Sam smiled to himself and sipped some of his drink.

…_But I'd stop the world_

_If it'd finally let us be alone_

_Let us be_

_I_

_Never wanna take_

_That final look…_

Nell finally parted from him.

"Are you OK?" G asked.

"Yeah, it just…"

G looked down and noticed that he was wearing the cross necklace she'd given him. "Hurts. I know." He looked at her one more time and then turned and walked off. "Bye."

…_We can't stop the world_

_But there's so much more that we could do_

_You can't stop this girl_

_From falling more in love with you_

Nell gazed at him. The only time in next 5 minutes where she looked away was when she looked down and saw the deep burn his necklace had left.

_You said, 'Nobody has to know_

_Give us to grow_

_And take it slow'_

_But I'd stop the world_

_If it'd finally let us be alone_

_Let us be alone_

_Let us be alone_

_Let us be alone_

**END EPISODE**


	8. I robot you jane

**G the vampire slayer**

Chapter 8: I Robot, You Jane

_Italy…_

_1418…_

A young Italian boy was by the window of a castle, kneeling before a big green demon.

"Carlo," the demon said in Italian, "do you love me? I can give you everything. All I want is your love."

"You have my love," Carlo answered in Italian.

The demon put his hand on Carlo's head…and twisted it, snapping his neck and killing him.

Meanwhile, in a church, a preacher was talking to his followers in Italian: "He's out. The devil, Moloch the Corrupter. More and more have fallen under his mesmerizing power. We must form the circle." The monks gathered in a circle and the preacher guy laid a blank book in the center. "By the power of the circle of Kayless…"

Moloch sensed what they were doing. "NO!"

"By the power of the circle of Kayless, I command you! Come!"

Moloch started screaming.

"COME!"

Moloch burst into thousands of pieces and the particles flew to the church.

"Demon, come!"

The pieces scattered themselves in the book, forming the words of it.

The preacher guy laid the book in a big wood box. "Pray that this accursed book is never read again, lest Moloch once more be released in the world."

_591 years later…_

"Oh, look, a book!" G exclaimed, sarcastically. He pulled the Moloch book out of the box and laid on the table. He blew the dust off it and dust went flying everywhere. He coughed.

"I haven't gone through the new arrivals yet," Owen said.

"I'll get it," said a boy, coming up and grabbing it.

"Thanks, Dave," G said, "The Sam pile."

As Dave laid down the book in the pile next to Sam, Owen started to go through some more of the books. "When I've examined the rest of these, you can, uh…skim them."

"Scan, Owen," said Jenny, the ex-director of NCIS now teaching forensics to young kids, coming up to him, "I know our ways are strange to you but soon you can join us in the 21st century."

"Miss. Shepard," Owen said, "I'm sure your computers are…fascinating but I believe that one can survive in the modern world without being a slave to the idiot box."

"The idiot box is TV!" Jenny snapped, "This is the good box."

"I still prefer a good book."

Another one of the boys, helping out at the local library, stood up. "The printed page is obsolete. Information isn't bound up anymore. It's an entity! The only reality is virtual! And you, sir, are not alive!" He grabbed his books and left.

"Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people!" Miss. Shepard called after him. She turned back to Owen. "Fritz can come on a little strong. But he does have a good point. Over the last decade, more e-mail has been sent then regular mail. More information went through phone lines than regular conversation."

"That is a fact I regard with genuine horror," Owen said.

"I'll bet it is," Jenny said, "Good talking with you." She turned back to the helpers. "Alright, guys, let's wrap it up!"

Sam looked at his book pile. "I think I have too many. I'll hang around for a while."

"Thanks, Sam," Miss. Shepard said.

Kensi grabbed her jacket and got up to leave.

"Aren't you gonna stay and help me?" Sam asked her.

Kensi snickered. "Are you kidding?" She started laughing left.

"I appreciate the enthusiasm!" Sam yelled after her, sarcastically.

"I'll just hang back with my books and go back to the middle Ages," Owen said, mockingly.

"Did you ever leave?" Jenny mumbled as she left. Owen glanced back at her but just went ahead and left, not noticing her smile.

A few hours later, Sam was still in the library, scanning happily through the books. He finally came to the Moloch book and scanned 2 of the pages. He didn't seem to notice that the words in the book were disappearing as he saved his work. He closed the book, put it with the others, grabbed his bag, and left.

After he was gone, the computer screen went blank and 3 simple words typed themselves up in green letters: "Where am I?"

"Sam!" G ran up to Sam in the hall of NCIS about a week later. "Sam!" Sam turned to look at him. "What was up last night? I tried your line a million times!"

"Oh, I was talking." Sam started to walk off again.

G ran in front of him and stopped him. "You have a secret and that's not allowed."

"Oh, really, Mr G the Vampire Slayer?" Sam whispered back.

"Very funny."

"Look, I met someone."

"Really? When did you meet?"

"Last week after the book scanning."

"What's her name? Have kissed her? What's she like?"

"Jessica, no, and very nice."

G groaned. "You're a thing of evil for not telling me this right away."

"Well, I wasn't sure there was anything to tell but…we talked all last night and she's so smart and romantic and we agree about everything!"

"What's she look like?"

"I don't know!"

G stopped smiling and followed Sam to the forensic lab. "So you've been seeing a girl and you don't know what she looks like?"

"I met her online."

Jenny came into the room. "Morning, class." She then noticed G. "G, aren't you supposed to be somewhere?"

"No, I have no case to work," G corrected.

"Oh!" Jenny smiled and sat down at her desk. "Well, this is lab time, so let's make this a short visit, OK?"

"Got it."

Sam sat down next to Jenny and turned on the monitor of his computer. Before he could start getting ready to help out with the class, a window popped up saying "You have mail!" Sam gasped. "It's her!" He hit a button and his e-mail opened up. There was a message saying "I'm thinking of you." Sam smiled. "Isn't she romantic?"

"Yeah, adorable." G rolled his eyes while Sam wasn't looking. "Look, I think it's great that you have a new pen pal and all, but don't you think you're kind of rushing into this? What exactly do you know about this girl?"

Sam sighed and turned to look at G. "I knew you'd be upset about this."

G scoffed. "What? Upset? I'm not upset! I just wanna make sure you be careful, OK?" Sam just half-smiled.

On the other side of the desk, on Fritz's computer, G's record showed up. Fritz looked confused for a little bit and then started to study the record. Suddenly, his record disappeared and a message appeared in its place: "Watch him."

"Her name is Jessica Black," Sam was telling G, "She's 24. She lives in Elmwood, which is about 80 miles from here. And she likes me!"

"Hey, I'm just trying to make sure that she's good enough for you!" G complained about Sam's complaining, "I think it's great that you met someone."

Jenny suddenly looked up from her work. "Hey, Fritz." Fritz turned to her. "I'm looking at the logs and you and Dave are clocking in a pretty scary amount of time researching things on the labs computers."

"New project," Fritz stated as soon as she was done talking.

"Ooh, will I be impressed?"

"You'll die."

Kensi ran up to Sam in the quad. "Hey, Sam!" Sam stopped walking as she came up to him. "Just thought I'd check to see if we're going to the Bronze tonight."

"Not me, I'm busy."

"Ooh, Jessica, right?" Sam looked at her, stunned. "Yep, I heard. But you're gonna be missing out. Eric's coming, too. And I'm planning to be witty. I'm gonna make fun of all the people who won't talk to me!"

"Wow, that sounds like fun! Have a good time!" Sam ran off, leaving Kensi, who wasn't smiling anymore, behind.

G came up to Kensi, who was pretty much frozen in place. "I take it he's not coming?" Kensi just stood there, still petrified. "Kensi?" Still no response. He groaned, put down his bag, and kicked her in the back as he yelled "KENSI!"

Kensi fell to the ground and then came back up. "Oh, hey, G, when did you get there?" She got up.

"Check out the jealous girl."

"I'm not jealous."

"Oh, come on. Sam's got a thing and his best friend is left hanging."

"Hey, I'm not…interested in him like…well, like that. But this Jessica girl? What's her deal?"

"I get your point. I mean, not knowing what she looks like-"

"Or who she really is. I mean, she says she's a college student, but I could say I'm a college student!"

"You are?"

"Well, No, but who's to say if I'm in an elderly Dutch chat room?"

G smiled. "I see your point." He stopped smiling. "I see your point. This girl could be anybody! SHE COULD BE A CIRCUS FREAK!"

"Whoa, G, calm down!"

"Oh, great, you got me started! See what happens when you get me started?"

"It's fun, isn't it?"

Sam rushed into the boy' locker room.

"Whoa!" G said, "Check out the late guy."

"I slept in," Sam said.

"For 5 hours? Talking to Jessica last night?"

"Yeah," Sam said, smiling. He then noticed G's look. "You're having an expression."

"What? No!" G turned around and started to open his locker and then whipped around again. "But if I were, it'd be saying 'This isn't like you.'"

"I don't understand why you don't want to have this. Girls don't chase me around all the time. I thought you'd be happy for me!"

"I just want you to be safe. To meet her face-to-face…in daylight…in a crowded place…with some friends…you know, before you become all obsessive!"

"Look, Jessica and I really care about each other. Big deal if I blow a few cases."

"I thought you'd overslept."

Sam then realized what he'd said and then sighed. "Jessica knew you wouldn't understand." He walked off, leaving G standing there, open-mouthed.

G snuck into the computer lab and went over to Becky. "Becks," he whispered in her ear. No reaction. "Hello?" He clapped his hands together by Becky's ear and she jumped in her seat.

"Oh, G, hi."

"I wanted to ask a computer question. If I wanted to find out about someone, like if they sent me an e-mail, could I possibly find out who the person is?"

"Well, you could pull up their profile based on their username-"

"But they write the profile themselves. They could say anything they wanted."

"True."

"Wow, I had knowledge! So is there any way to find out exactly where an e-mail came from?"

"That's a challenge, but it's possible."

"Good, 'cause Sam has this 'girlfriend' and I just wanted to be sure that-"

"Leave Sam alone!"

"Huh?"

"It's none of your business!"

G's eyes widened at her insistence. "Becky, are _you_ Jessica?"

"Of course not."

G put his hands on his hips. "What is going on?"

"Look, I'll talk to you later, OK? I have work to do."

G sighed as she returned to the computer. "So do I." He walked off, not noticing Fritz looking at him as he walked off.

G was on the stairs in Owen's office. "I'm telling you, Granger, something's going on! Not just Sam but Becky and Fritz. They're all jumpy!"

"Those people are not sparklingly normal as is," Owen said from inside the cage, which contained all the books and weapons.

"GRANGER!"

"G, things involving computers fill me with childlike terror! Now if it were an ogre or a troll or something, I'd be involved. I suppose you could follow one of them and-"

"Follow Becky?"

"I didn't specify but-"

"Done."

Becky was walking down a street. G snuck through the shadows (which wasn't easy in the shoes he was wearing) behind her. When Becky thought she sensed a presence, she turned around. There was no one there. She shrugged and turned back around. As soon as she was gone, G emerged from a nearby dumpster. He couldn't believe he'd just jumped in there. He completely forgot, though, when he noticed Becky go into a building with a logo on the wall: "CRD."

But he was unaware that there was a security camera watching him and that Fritz was tapped into it in the computer lab at the school. "What do I do?" The computer changed to a simple message: "Kill him." Fritz smiled. "Gladly."

"What was the name of this place?" Owen asked G in the library later.

"CRD," G answered, sitting at the table with Kensi on his right and Eric to his left, "But I couldn't get close enough to see what that stands for."

"Calax Research and Development," Kensi answered, "It's a computer research lab. 3rd largest employer in LA until it closed down last year." G and Owen both stared at her. "What, I can't have information sometimes?"

"It is somewhat unprecedented…" Owen said.

"Well, my uncle used to work there…as a…floor-sweeper."

"But it closed?" G asked. Kensi nodded. "Looked pretty functional from where I was standing."

"Then what do they need this Becky girl for?" asked Eric.

"Probably something with the computers," G said, shrugging, "She is off-the-chart smart."

"Well, we still don't know a lot," Kensi said, "But if CRD were reopened, it would have been on the news."

"I can just tell something's wrong," said G, "My spider sense is tingling."

"Your…spider sense?" Owen asked.

"Pop culture reference, sorry."

Eric thought of something. "Hey, maybe we can break in! I'm free tonight!"

"OK then," said G.

"A moment, please, of quiet reflection," Owen said, "I do not suggest that you illegally enter the…" He trailed off when he saw Jenny coming into the library. "…data into the computer so that the book will be listed by title as well as author. Is there something I can help you with, Miss Shepard?"

"I was just coming by to check on the database, make sure everything your cross reference table isn't glitching. 'Cause I'm guessing you haven't gone anywhere near it." She noticed Eric. "Hey Eric?"

"Hi."

"…I'm surprised you guys are here again. You must love to read."

"Well, we're literary!" G said.

"To read makes our speaking English good," said Kensi.

"And now we're leaving!" G grabbed Eric and Kensi's ears and dragged them out. "'It makes our speaking English good'?" he hissed in Kensi's pinched ear.

"I panicked, OK?"

Sam was alone in the computer lab in a private chat room:

Jessica: I've never felt this way about anyone before.

Sam: I know what you mean. I feel like you know me better than anyone. Do you think we should meet?

Jessica: I think we should soon.

Sam: I'm kind of nervous.

Jessica: I'm not. Isn't that strange?

Sam: See, this is what G doesn't get, how comfortable you can make me feel.

Jessica: G just makes trouble. That's why he got kicked out of his old work.

Sam stopped smiling.

Sam: How'd you know he got kicked out?

Jessica: You must have mentioned it.

Sam was pondering to himself. "No, I didn't. I'd never tell anyone that."

Sam: I'll talk to you later. I have to sign off.

Jessica: Don't.

Sam was still shocked.

Sam: Bye.

Before she could respond, he closed the chat room and turned off the computer. He got up and grabbed his bag, but couldn't help glancing back at that computer as he walked out.

"You're a snob!" Jenny said, "You think that knowledge should be kept in these carefully guarded repositories where only a handful of people can get it!"

"That's nonsense!" Owen retorted, "I just don't think that just because something is new, it's better!"

"This isn't a fad, Owen! It's been going on for a decade! It's a new society!"

"A society in which human interaction is all but obsolete? In which people can be completely manipulated by technology? No, thank you, I'll pass."

Jenny scoffed. "Then I hope you're very happy with your musty old books!" She opened the Moloch book.

"These 'musty old books' have more to say than any of your 'fabulous' web pages."

"This one doesn't have much to say. It's empty."

Owen went over and looked at it. Sure enough, the pages were all blank. "That's odd. I haven't looked through all the books yet, I-"

"Was it is, like a diary?"

"Um, yes, a diary. I imagine that's exactly what it is. It was arguing with you."

Jenny looked at him strangely. "OK, argue with you later." She walked off.

Meanwhile, G was walking through the boys' locker room looking for Sam. "Sam? Sam?" He heard water running. "Are you taking a shower or something?" He went to the shower. One of them was running but there was no one there. "I guess not." He went to turn off the water. "This is how droughts get started."

"G! Look out!"

G whirled around to see an electrical cord caught in the water and jumped out of the way before he could get electrocuted. He turned around to see who had called him and was just in time to watch Becky running off.

Becky was in the computer lab, pacing back and forth in front of one of the computers. "I can't do this! G isn't a threat to you!"

"The project is almost over, Becky," said the computer, "You won't have to do it again. I've shown you a new world, Becky, knowledge, power…I can give you everything. All I want is your love."

"Well, you can't have it! It's not right!"

Then, a sketch pad appeared on the computer and a note started to type itself up: "I'm sorry. I've been a terrible person. I'm a coward and I can't go on living like this. Forgive me, Mom and Dad. At least now I'll have some peace. Remember me. Love, Becky."

Becky backed into the table. "No…" She then noticed Fritz was in the room, closing and locking the door to the hall.

"I'm gonna kill Becky!" Kensi said, pacing in front of G and Eric, who were sitting next to each other at the table in Owen's office, "Are you sure you're gonna be OK?"

"My Slayer speed kept me from being shocked, Kensi," G said, "Now tell me the truth…how's my hair?"

Eric realized the danger of that question immediately. "Great! It's your best hair ever!"

G smiled for a second. "I just don't understand why Dave would do something like this."

"I think I do," Owen said. He showed them the Moloch book. "Does this look familiar to you?"

"Yeah, it looks like a book," Kensi said.

"I knew that one!" Eric said.

"Of course, you did," G said.

"In the Dark Ages, the souls of demons were trapped in certain books," Owen explained, "They remained locked inside until the pages were read aloud. Unless I'm mistaken, this one is Moloch the Corrupter, a very deadly and seductive demon. He draws people to him with promises of love, power, and knowledge and preys on unimpressionable minds, like Becky and Fritz and Sam and who knows how many others."

"And Moloch is inside that book?" Eric asked.

"Not anymore," Owen said, showing them the empty pages.

"You released Moloch?" G asked, shocked.

"Way to go!" Kensi said, both angrily and sarcastically.

"I didn't read it! That dreadful Shepard woman found it and it was already blank!"

"OK, so a powerful demon with horns is walking around and nobody's noticed?" G asked, "And if he's so big and strong, why bother with Becky instead of trying to kill me himself?"

"I don't know," Owen answered, "And I don't know who could have read that book, it wasn't in English."

"Where was it?" asked G.

"In a pile with the others that were…" He realized what was going on. "…scanned!"

All 4 of them crowded around a computer.

"And that released the demon into the internet!" Eric said, panicking.

"What do we do?" asked Kensi.

G thought for a few seconds and then snapped his fingers. "Sam scanned them into his file! We can just delete it!" He sat down and opened the file…but when he moved it to the trash bin, Moloch's face appeared on the screen instead of the standard message box.

"Leave Sam alone!" Moloch screeched before disappearing.

"Well, now we know what Jessica looks like," said Kensi.

"So much for delete file," G said.

"Hey, aren't we overreacting?" asked Eric, not so panicky now, "I mean, so he's connected to every computer in the world, what can he do?"

"Besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me?" asked G, "How about mess up all the medical equipment…"

"Randomize traffic signals…" Owen added.

"Access launch codes for nuclear missiles…"

"Destroy the world's economy…more…"

"OK, I think I kind of topped it with the missile thing," G said.

"OK, he's a threat!" Kensi said, "What can we do about it?"

"I think our first priority is to find Sam," G said, "and find out what he wants with him. I'll check the computer lab, you guys call his house." He left. He came into the computer lab and looked around the dark room. "Sam?" Suddenly, Becky's hanging body came down. He screamed upon realizing she was dead.

Eric hung up the phone. "No answer. But it wasn't busy, so he's not online."

G came into the office.

"He's not home," said Kensi.

"What'd you find?" asked Eric.

"Becky," G said, "She's dead." The guys were all shocked. "Fritz probably hung her." He went over to Kensi. "You and Eric and I are checking Sam's house." He turned to Owen. "You need to stay here and find a way to get our demon back in that book. Talk to Jenny if you have to." Owen started to speak up. "No excuses, just do it!" He turned back to Eric and Kensi. "Let's go."

Sam came into his house. It was empty. "Mom? Hello?" He walked into his room and placed his bag on his bed. Suddenly, his computer flashed on. He went over there and turned it on to reveal an e-mail: "No more waiting, I need you to see me." Sam pretty much gasped but quickly deleted the message and turned off the monitor. 2 seconds later, the same results. Suddenly, he heard something. He went downstairs to see the doorknob rattling. He groaned. "Mom, did you forget your keys again?" He went over and opened the door.

Fritz came out and punched him in the face, knocking him out. "No more waiting."

Owen was flipping through a book. "Binding rituals…"

Jenny came up. "Hey." Owen turned to face her. "I got your message. What's so urgent?"

"Uh, thanks for coming…I-I need your help on something…now you need to believe me on something that…you may not want to…" He finally cut to the chase. "There's a demon in the internet."

"I know."

"Sam?" G led Kensi and Eric up to his best friend's house and found the door open. "That's not good." He walked in and ran to Sam's room to find the same message on the computer. "'No more waiting, I need you to see me'?"

"That's not good," Eric said.

"You think?" G turned back to face the two. "See him how? Where?"

"What about CRD?" asked Kensi, "I'm guessing that's Moloch central."

"It's our best lead," G said, "Let's just hope Granger can back us up."

"You already know?" Owen asked Jenny, "How is that?"

"There have been signs for days," Jenny explained, "Power surges, online shutdowns…I knew something like this would happen sooner or later. It's probably a mischief demon or-"

"Moloch."

Jenny was frightened. "The Corrupter?"

Owen nodded. "You don't seem particularly surprised by this. Who are you? Teaching computer science hardly leads to-"

"You think the realm of the mystics is limited to ancient texts and relics? The divine exists in cyberspace as well as out here. I'm a techno-pagan. There are more of us than you think."

"Well, you can definitely help." Owen went over to a computer. "What's in cyberspace now is much less than divine. I have binding rituals at hand, but-"

"Well, I can help…I think…I hope…this is my first real…Do you know how he got in?"

"When the book was scanned, he was released into the internet."

"And you want him back in the book."

The phone rang.

"G!" Owen ran to answer. "G?"

"It's me," G said, walking down a street and carrying his cell phone, "Sam wasn't at home. It looked like he was taken and we're headed to CRD. Whatever Moloch wants Sam for is probably in there."

"Well, Jenny and I are working on a way to get Moloch offline."

"Here's a tip: hurry!" He hung up.

Sam woke up in a lab in the CRD building. He looked around. It was dark, but he could clearly see Fritz and a technician standing there.

"Welcome, my love." Sam looked around to see where the voice had come from. "I can't tell you how good it is to see you…" A green robot with horns appeared. "…with my own 2 eyes."

Sam stood up. "Jessica." Before he could go any further, Fritz and the technician took his arms and restricted his movement.

"The world is so new and exciting," said Moloch as he slowly started to walk closer, "Everything flows through me. I even know the secrets of your kings. But nothing compares to having form again…to walk…" He touched Fritz's head. "…to touch…" He snapped Fritz's neck. "…to kill." Fritz's dead body dropped to the ground. Moloch suddenly looked up. "They're coming."

Sure enough, G was helping Kensi and Eric over the fence. He jumped once he reached the top and landed on the other side on his feet. Kensi jumped into the dumpster G had been in the day before and came out gently. Eric jumped…and practically broke his leg. G helped him up and the 3 of them made their way to the rear entrance, Eric limping all the while.

While all this was going on, Owen lit a candle in the library.

"OK, the first thing we need to do is form the Circle of Kayless," Jenny reasoned.

"But there's only 2 of us," Owen corrected, "That'd be more of a line."

"True, but we have to form a circle inside." Jenny sat down at the nearest computer. "Let's hope enough of my group responds."

"Won't Moloch just shut you down?"

"I'm betting he won't figure out what we're doing until we're too late."

"Hoping and betting, that's all we've got now."

"Wanna throw in praying? Be my guest."

"What do you want from me?" asked Sam, struggling against the technician's grip.

"I want to give you the world," Moloch explained, "You created me, gave me life. I brought these humans together to build me, but _you_ took me out of the book that held me. I want to repay you."

"By lying to me? By pretending to be a person? Pretending you loved me?"

"I do! Don't you see? I can give you everything! Right now, a guy in Beijing is transferring money from a Swiss account on a contract for his mother's life. Good for him!"

G came up to the door to the lab. "I can't bust it, it's heavy steel!"

"We'll have to find another way in," said Kensi. But just as she was headed down the hall to the next door, all of the doors shut themselves. "What's going on?"

G spotted a security camera. "The building security is computerized!"

Kensi looked up at the camera. "Whoops."

"Almost there," said Jenny.

"Couldn't you just stop Moloch by…sending out some computer virus?" Owen asked.

"You have seen way too many movies. OK, we're in! You read, I type. Ready?"

Owen nodded and began to translate the book. "'By the power of the divine, by the essence of the word, I command you…'"

"Let me go!" Sam demanded.

"But I love you," Moloch debated.

"If you loved me, you'd let me go! You don't love anything!"

"You are mine!"

"I'm not yours! I'm never gonna be yours! Never, ever, EVER!"

Moloch looked at her for a few seconds. "Pity."

"'By the power of the Circle of Kayless, I command you…' That's Kayless with a K."

Moloch reached out and put his hand on Sam's head. "I'll miss you."

"Eep!"

"'Demon, come!'"

Moloch stepped back, screaming and writhing, and put his hands on his head.

"'I command you!'"

G, Kensi, and Eric were all together in front of the door. "1…2…3!" They all busted the door down. G saw Moloch and ran up to him. As soon as he was close enough, he kicked him and…

"OW! Guy's made of metal!"

Kensi ran up to help him, but the technician grabbed her. She kicked the guy in the face and he let go of her and Sam. "Hey, I got to hit someone!"

"No!" Moloch screamed, "I won't go back!"

"Demon, COME!"

Suddenly, the monitor flickered. They could both hear Moloch's final scream and then everything was back to normal.

"He's out of the 'net," said Jenny, "He's bound."

Owen picked up the book. "No, he's not. He's not in the book."

G and Sam locked the doors and started to run with the guys down the hall to open the next door. But before they could, Moloch burst through the wall. He went up and knocked Kensi out. G kicked him, but he was still metallic and hard to break. Eric wasn't much help, because he was still limping.

"I was omnipotent!" Moloch screamed, "I was everything! And now I'm trapped in this shell!" Suddenly, he hunched over slightly to reveal Sam behind him with a fire extinguisher.

"Hey, Jessica!" Sam hit him again. "Remember me, your boyfriend?" Another hit. "I think it's time we break up!" Hit. "But maybe we can still be friends!" He swung to hit him, but he grabbed the extinguisher before he could and used it to push him down the hall and into a wall (no rhyme intended) before crunching it into itty-bitty pieces of metal.

"This body is all I have left, but it's enough to crush you!"

G noticed a fuse box behind him and then turned back to Moloch. "Take your best shot." He moved to punch him and he got out of the way just soon enough to make him punch it instead, making him short out. "Buh-bye, metal-head."

Jenny was alone in the computer lab the next morning when Owen came in. "Hey, look who's here. Welcome to my world. You scared?"

"I'm remaining calm, thank you. I just wanted to thank you for your help so…bye." He turned to leave.

"You just can't get out of here fast enough, can you?"

Owen turned back to face her. "Truthfully, I'm even less eager to be around computers than I used to be."

"Well, it was your book that started the trouble in the first place. Honestly, what is it about computers that bothers you so much?"

"It's the smell."

"Computers don't smell, Owen."

"Exactly! Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a, a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences...long forgotten. Books smell. Musty and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is...it has no texture, no context. It's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then the getting of knowledge should be tangible it should be, um...smelly."

"Wow, you're a really old-fashioned boy." She smiled.

Owen copied the action and left.

While Owen was with Jenny, G, Sam, and Kensi were sitting by the fountain outside.

"So, we're going to the Bronze tonight?" asked Sam, "All 4 of us?"

"It'll be fun!" G said.

"Yeah, remember, Sam, fun?" Kensi asked, "That thing where you smile?" Sam smiled. "See?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking about…"

"Jessica?" asked G.

"Jessica, Moloch, whoever he/she was," said Sam, "'The one girl that really likes me is a demon robot.' Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"Hey, remember the one girl I really liked since we moved here?" G pointed out, "Turned out to be a Vampire?"

"Yeah, and the teacher I liked?" Kensi added, "Giant praying mantis?"

"Face it," G said, "None of us are ever going to have a normal relationship."

"Exactly, we're doomed!" Kensi said.

All 3 of them smiled and then slowly realized their dramatic situation.

**END EPISODE**


	9. The puppet show

Chapter 9: Puppet Show

" _By day, I play, the part in every way,_" Kyle sang (more like screeched, actually) on the stage in the auditorium, "_of simple, sweet, calm, and collected…_"

Owen was watching, wide-eyed and hardly blinking, from one of the seats. He SO did not want to be there.

"…_pretend to my friends, I'm a chameleon, can make a girl feel disconnect_-"

"Thank you, Kyle!" Owen said, stopping him, "That's going to be great!"

"But I didn't do the part with the sparklers!"

"We'll save that for the dress rehearsal. LISA!"

Kyle groaned and left the stage. Lisa then came onto the stage with her tuba.

G, Sam, and Kensi came up.

"Well, if it isn't the great producer!" G said. He sat right next to Owen and Sam and Kensi sat behind them. "The NCIS talent show. How'd you finagle this one?"

"Your amazing boss, Hetty, assigned me to it," Owen explained.

"She thought it would convince me to have more contact with the Agents. I did try to explain that my place as Assistant Director was meant to limit such contact, but she would have none of it."

"Granger," G objected, as Lisa's solo act went on, "unto every generation there is born one who must run the annual talent-less show. You cannot escape your destiny."

"You know, you guys might have helped by participating, or at least helping somehow!"

"Nah," G said, "I think we'll take on your traditional role…and watch!"

"And mock!" Kensi added.

"And laugh!" Sam added. All 3 of them laughed.

"You know, maybe we should just leave Mr. Granger to this train-wreck he calls a show," suggested G. He got up and ran into someone first. "Hetty!"

"So," said Hetty, "You think work events are stupid and that authority figures are to be made fun of."

"What? No! No! We don't! U-Unless you do?"

"And we think our afternoon cases are optional?" Hetty asked, "All 3 of you left campus yesterday."

"Hey, we were fighting a d-" Kensi and Sam both covered Sam's mouth before he could give them away.

"You anti-social types really need to integrate to this work," Hetty stated. She crossed her arms at them. "I think I just found 3 eager new participants for the talent show."

"What?" asked G.

"No!" Kensi objected.

"Please?" Sam pleaded.

With that, Snyder walked off.

"Can I just say that detention is still an honored form of punishment?" asked Kensi. She and the boyss sat back down in their seats.

"Thank you!" Owen told Lisa once she was down.

Then came a boy and a dummy.

G shivered. "I hate dummies. They've creeped me out since I was little."

"Really?" Sam asked, "What happened?"

"I saw a dummy and it creeped me out. There's really no story there."

"Hi, I'm Morgan," said the boy. He started to move the dummy's head. "_And I'm Sid._" He was an awful ventriloquist. "_Hey, Morgan, would you like to tell some jokes?_ Would I! _As a matter of fact, it is! It's also a wood nose and wood mouth!_" Here, Owen started to clean his glasses. Take note of that. "_I didn't sleep at all last night_-"

"Whoa, whoa, time out!" The dummy started to speak for himself. "Let's stop before someone gets hurt. Kid, you are the worst. Even I can see your lips move." G started giggling and Owen put his glasses back on.

"Come on, Sid," Morgan argued with the dummy, "You're spoiling my act. I've been working on these jokes for weeks!"

"You call those jokes? My jockey shorts are made out of better material!" Some of the other agents started to laugh. "And they're edible!" More laughs.

"There, you see?" Owen told the boys and Kensi, "I'm sure you 3 can come up with something equally exciting."

Later, something was walking through the girls' locker room. "I will be whole…"

A girl, the only one in there at the time, whipped around, but didn't see anything. "Hello? Is anyone there?" No response. She shrugged and closed her locker.

"I will be new…"

The girl turned around again and screamed when she saw the demon coming after her.

"I will be flesh!"

A magician was now on the stage. "And I reach into the hat and pull out…" He felt around the hat. It was empty. "Has anyone seen a rabbit?"

G, Sam, and Kensi were sitting at the edge of the stage.

G turned away from the train-wreck and went back to his friends. "Kensi, come on."

"No!" Kensi objected, "I have my pride. Granted, I don't have a lot of it, but I know I can't do this!"

"Hey, a scene from a play is the easiest way to get through a talent show," said Sam, "It doesn't require any actual talent!"

"But we have talent," said Kensi, "We can do stuff."

"I can't do anything," said G

"Sam, you have piano," Kensi said. Sam shot her a look.

"You play?" asked G.

"A little."

"That's perfect! You can play and Kensi and I can attempt to sing to that."

"Oh, you mean in front of people? N-No, I don't play."

Suddenly, Sid, who Morgan was getting ready to put into a case, whistled at the girls. "Mm, look at the goodies!"

"Morgan, you're really getting good!" Sam commented, "How'd you get the voice?"

"It's…kind of an imitation of my dad," said Morgan.

"It sounds really…real!" G added.

"It is real!" said the dummy, "I'm the one with the talent here." He turned to Kensi. "Hey, after this, why don't we do a little rehearsing of our own?"

"Hey!" Sam defended Kensi, putting his arm around her.

"OK, Morgan, we get the point!" G said, "Dummy dummy, ha ha, so funny. Give it up or your little friend is wood for a campfire!" Morgan and Sid looked at each other.

Just then, Tor came rushing in and came up to Kyle. "Kyle!"

"What is it now?" asked Kyle, annoyed, "I'm rehearsing!"

"Look, something's going on."

Everyone collected in the hall outside the locker room.

Owen came up to G, Sam, and Kensi. "It was Emily."

"Dancer Emily?" Sam asked.

"Man, I hate this place," Kensi said.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"Her heart was removed."

"Ew!"

"What do you think did it?" asked G.

"Well, there are demons who feed off human hearts, but-" Owen moved to show the kids the knife being put in an evidence bag.

"But demons have big claws and would have no use for a big knife," said Kensi, "Did I mention how much I _hate_ this place?"

"Knife or no knife," G said, "We're on the Hell-Mouth. And this, to me, just screams demon!"

"Demon of not, we have investigation to do," said Owen, "We need to talk to the people who have seen her last."

G was interviewing Lisa in the band room.

"I didn't know her well," said Lisa, "There's that whole dancer-band rivalry, you know. But I did talk to her the day that…yesterday."

"How'd she seem?" asked G.

"She was happy," Marc the magician told Owen as he shuffled a deck of cards, "She was psyched to be doing the show and she was a really good dancer." He stopped shuffling. "Pick a card." Owen reached for one. "No, no, not that one. Pick this one." Owen took the one he was pointing at. "She was talking to someone the last time I saw her."

"Who?"

"That smart guy," a boy told Sam in the training room, "The one with the dummy, uh…Morgan! He was acting kind of strange."

"It's just such a tragedy for me!" Kyle told Kensi in the squad room, "Emma was like my best friend."

"Emily," Kensi corrected.

"Morgan's just strange," Lisa explained, "He was rubbing his head a lot and moaning and…"

"He was kind of paranoid," Marc said, "He was looking around at everyone…"

"And he was arguing," said Sam "with his dummy."

"I just can't help thinking it could have been me!" Kyle ranted.

"We can dream," Kensi said, walking away.

G came into the auditorium and saw Sid sitting on a stool on the stage.

"Right now," Sid said, "you and me gotta be on the lookout and figure out who's gonna be next."

Morgan came on stage. "How are we supposed to…" He then noticed G looking at him funny. "Hey."

"Hi," G said.

"I-I was just working on throwing my voice," Morgan said, picking up Sid.

G started to walk towards him. "Morgan, have you noticed anything…weird going lately? I mean, did you see Emily arguing with anybody…before _it_ happened?"

"No, she was just dancing," Morgan said, coming over to the seats to put Sid in his case, "Sid and I were talk—er, rehearsing." Before he could say anymore, he doubled over in pain and disappeared in front of the seats.

"Morgan?" G asked, concerned.

Sid looked over the seats. "Look, sweetheart, he answered your question, now leave him alone!"

"OK, Morgan, very funny," G said, "Mind talking to me now?"

Morgan got up, his pain subsided. "That's it, Sid, we're done." He grabbed the puppet and stuffed him in his case.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad," said G.

"No, it's not you, it's him!" Morgan said, "He's…" He sighed and picked up the case. "We have to go." He left.

"Cute couple," G said under his breath before leaving.

G, Sam, and Kensi came into Owen's office later.

"OK, next time we split up, someone else is on Kyle/Tor watch," said Kensi.

"I think I had a bit more luck," said Sam, "Everyone I talked to seemed to point their finger at the same person. Morgan."

Owen came up to them. "I fear I was led to the same conclusion."

"So what do we do?" asked Kensi.

"Oh, we could set up a complex sting operation!" Sam suggested.

"Oh, I should wear a wire!" Kensi added.

"Whoa, guys!" G practically yelled, "All we know is that Morgan is a grade A weirdo. That doesn't directly lead to murder."

"The guy talks to his puppet!" Kensi retorted.

"And for his puppet!" Sam added.

"What happened to the whole 'it's a demon' theory?" asked G.

"Will everybody just calm down a minute?" asked Owen, "Now, look…G, you watch Morgan. Check his locker, too."

"I'll pull up his locker combination," Owen said, going over to the computer.

"Can I still wear a wire?" asked Kensi.

Later that afternoon, G came up to Morgan's locker. He looked around to make sure no one was there and then began to "crack the safe." "OK, 2 to the left…3 to the right…" He sighed. "Forget this." He punched a whole in the locker and started to open it when…

"Ahem!"

"Hetty!" G spun around.

"What are you doing?" asked Hetty.

"Uh, looking for something," G quickly answered.

"Work hours are over, Mr Callen, and, therefore, you should be gone."

"Well, uh…a friend asked me to get something from his locker." G opened the locker and noticed that nothing was in there. It was just a bunch of books and stuff like that. He closed the door. "He must have taken it and…forgotten to tell me." He left, not noticing Morgan and Sid watching from a nearby classroom.

"No, I can't do it!" Morgan said, pacing back and forth on the stage.

"It's the only way," Sid said, sitting on his stool, "You say what he did, how strong he is. He's the one. Just this one more and I'll be free."

"I won't," Morgan argued.

"But _I_ will!"

Just as G was getting into bed, his brother walked into his room. "Hey, bud."

"Hey, Mason," G said.

"So how are things going with the talent show?"

"It'll all be over soon."

"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad! I, for one, am looking forward to seeing your act."

"'Seeing'? As in the sense of actually attending?" Mason nodded. "N-No, you can't."

"But I wanna support what you're doing!"

"Mason, if you really love me and wanna show your support, you'll stay far, far away!"

"OK, OK! Just get some sleep, you'll feel better in the morning." With that, he left.

G pulled up the covers and got ready to sleep. Suddenly, he heard footsteps. He got up and looked around and something jumped at him. He turned on the light, saw that it was Sid, screamed, and knocked him off the bed. As soon as he'd accomplished that, he scrambled out of the bed and ran out of the room, bumping into Mason and Eric.

"Whoa, calm down, bud!" Mason said, "What happened?"

"T-There's something in my room!"

Eric understood the situation immediately (not entirely, but he knew it was something supernatural). Mason, however, assumed he'd had a bad dream.

Calmly, Mason walked into the room and removed the covers from G's bed. Nothing. He turned on the big light and looked around. "There's nothing in here." He turned off the light. "Are you sure you weren't having a nightmare?"

"No! I-"

"Relax." With that, Mason left the room.

Eric turned to his friend. "Here's a tip: Nightmare or monster, I would advise that in the future, you don't go to sleep with the window open!"

G looked at his personal doorway to the top deck. It was open. "Eric, I…I didn't."

"And my lovely assistant steps into the box…" Marc said. His assistant walked into the box and he closed it. "And…presto!" He opened the box…and she was still there. "You were supposed to leave!"

Owen walked over to the kids. He noticed G's strange behavior immediately. "Are you OK?"

"Where's Morgan?" G asked, ignoring Owen's question.

"I haven't seen him," Owen answered.

"Did he do something to you?" asked Kensi.

"No, it was…Sid, his dummy. He was in my room last night. Alone. And alive. He ran across my floor, under my bed, and then attacked me. And then when Mason came in and turned the lights on, he was gone."

"Not to…insult you or anything," Owen said, "but maybe you were simply having a nightmare because you had dummies on your mind."

"You did say they creep you out," said Sam, "And on the side of the 'Morgan's just crazy' theory, there is…well, Morgan."

"You know," G said, "I'd like to see Morgan without his better half for a few minutes. Bet we'd get a few answers then."

"If it's any consolation," Owen said, "I did find something about a brotherhood of 7 demons who can take the form of young humans. Every 7 years, they need to harvest human organs, a brain and a heart, to maintain there human form. Otherwise, they revert back to their normal form, which is…slightly less appealing."

"So Morgan could still be the guy," said Sam, "Except, he'd be demon Morgan instead of crazy Morgan."

"I don't know about that," Owen corrected, "It's said that these demons are preternaturally strong. And it seems that Morgan is getting weaker every day."

G was in the squad room with all the other agents.

"Now," said Hetty, "who can tell me how we caught the Maskmaker killer?" Sid was whispering to Morgan and Hetty took note of this. "Morgan?" Morgan looked up at her.

"Morgan has other things on his mind," Sid intercepted.

"That's it, give me the puppet." Hetty walked over to him.

"I'll put him away." Morgan started to get the case, but Hetty took Sid first.

"You'll get him back after work." She put him in a cupboard. "Now, in the first part of a murder…"

"I'm still watching you," said the dummy from inside the cupboard.

"Morgan, that's enough!" Hetty scolded.

But G noticed that Morgan had been just as shocked at the dummy's statement as Hetty had.

_After work…_

Morgan came back into the classroom. "Hetty." Hetty looked at him. "You'd said that…"

"Oh." Hetty walked over to the cupboard…but didn't open it. "You know, I wanted to ask you if everything was OK."

"I'm fine, I just…"

"Because you're such a bright agent, but lately it doesn't seem you're all there. I mean-"

"Can I just get my puppet back?"

"OK, fine!" Hetty opened the cupboard…but it was empty. "That's weird."

Morgan noticed the empty cupboard. "He knew to wait for me. He knew I'd be back!"

"W-What are you-"

"What'd you do with him? Where is he?"

Kensi had Sid in Owen's office.

G walked in, followed by Sam and Owen, noticed the dummy, and practically screamed. "What are you doing with that thing?"

"I took him out of Hetty's cupboard," Kensi explained, "Morgan's alone and Sid's with me." She started messing with Sid. "_Hi there! Would you like to hear some off-color jokes?_"

"Kensi, stop it!" G demanded.

"Oh, come on…_I'm not real!_"

"Very funny, Ken-" Sam started.

"He's…" Kensi started banging Sid against the table. "Not…" Bang. "Real!" Bang! "I think our demonstration proves that Sid is wood! Now we can just find Morgan and prove that he's…whatever he is!"

"Fine," G said, "I'll go watch Morgan, and you guys watch the dummy."

"_Buh-bye now!_" Kensi imitated, "_I'm completely inanimate!_"

G rolled his eyes and left.

"Sam, we have some hunting of our own to do," Owen said, leading him to the book cases, "You can focus on re-animation theory. I'll check organ harvesting. Good luck."

"Oh, this ought to be fun," Sam said, starting to pull down some books.

"So I guess it's just you and me, huh?" Kensi said to Sid.

G was walking through the auditorium looking for Morgan. Just as he was about to go backstage, he sensed a presence and spun around. "Hetty!"

"Looking for something?" asked Hetty.

"Yeah, have you seen Morgan Shay?" asked G.

"You know, with everything that's been going on recently, it's not very safe for a little boy like you to be alone by himself."

G crossed his arms at her, feeling the anger well up inside him. _Nobody calls me "little boy." _"I was just leaving. And I know how to take care of myself."

Hetty crossed her arms at him. "OK then." With that, she walked off.

Kensi was doing her case report at the table in Owen's office with Sid sitting in the chair next to her.

Sam ran up to Owen. "Check this out. 'On rare occasions, inanimate objects, such as puppets and mannequins, already of human consciousness, can act upon their desire to become human by harvesting human organs.'"

"Emily's heart," Owen reasoned.

"Morgan's dummy."

Kensi heard this and fearfully turned to look at the dummy…but shrieked and fell out of her chair when she saw that the dummy was gone!

"Morgan?" G was still backstage. He came to a rack of clothes and scooted them out of the way…to reveal Morgan's dead body lying on the floor. "Morgan!" He looked at his head and noticed that it'd been cut open. "Demon's got himself a brain." He heard a creaking and looked up to see a chandelier falling over him. He rolled out of the way and it fell on Morgan's body. He looked around but didn't see anyone there. "Whoever you are, I'm gonna hurt you! Badly! Just give me a minute…" He started to get up, but was knocked down. He turned to see who had hit him and saw Sid standing over him with a knife. He batted him out of the way, making him slam into the wall and drop the knife, and jumped up. G bent down, picked up the knife, and pinned Sid to the wall, holding it up to his neck as a threat.

"OK, you win!" Sid said, "You can take your heart and your brain and get out!"

"I'm sure they would've made great trophies for your case."

"That would've been justice."

"Yeah, but one problem: you lost. And now you'll never be human."

"Yeah, but neither will you!"

They thought about that for 2 seconds and then realized something was up. "What?"

"This is what I do," Sid was telling the others later in Owen's office, "I hunt demons. And now…let's just say there was me, a really mean demon, a curse, and then suddenly I'm not me anymore."

"And ever since then," Sam figured out, "you've been a _Goosebumps_ character?"

"The kid was right all along," said Sid, "I should've picked you guys to team up with, but I didn't because-"

"Because you thought _I_ was the demon," G finished for him.

"Who can blame me for thinking it?" Sid continued, "You're strong, athletic, limber…" He started staring off into space. "…smart…" He shook his head around a bit. "I'm back! No matter, the demon's got a heart and a brain now and he can keep the human form he's in for another 7 years. There were 7 of these guys, I've killed 6, and if I kill the last one, the curse will be lifted and I'll be free. I'm sure it's someone in the talent show."

"And now that the demon has what he wants, he'll be moving on," Kensi said.

"So once we figure out who's missing from the show, we'll know who our demon is!" G said.

"The show!" Owen said, "It's starting! I'm supposed to be there!"

"OK, uh…" G turned to Sam. "Start pulling up everyone's addresses. Maybe we can catch them at home."

"And you," Sid told Owen, "get the kids to form a power circle."

"What?"

"Power circle. Get them all together before curtain and get 'em, you know, revved up."

"Right, right…" Owen walked off.

"How'd he ever get that gig?"

G and Sid were on the catwalk above the stage, watching Owen prep everyone.

"So what's your deal, kid?" Sid asked him, "You're sure not a demon hunter."

"I'm a Vampire Slayer."

"You? You're the Slayer? Wow. I knew a Slayer back in the 30's. Korean chick, very hot. Man, we had some times." He then noticed the look G was giving him. "Hey, that was pre-dummy, alright? I was a guy!"

"So, you kill the demon and the curse is lifted, right?" Sid nodded. "You don't exactly turn into a prince, do you?"

"No, I'm dust and bones. When I say free…"

"…you mean dead."

Owen looked around. "Is everybody here?"

"Here comes our line-up," Sid said.

"Quickly, everyone!" Owen got everyone together and formed a circle on the stage…but no one was missing. "Uh…OK, everyone get ready. 15 minutes to curtain." Everyone ran off.

When everyone was gone, G jumped down onto the stage. "No one's missing. Do you think the demon isn't in the show?"

"Maybe. Go tell the others, I have to get ready for the show." Owen walked off.

G looked back up at the catwalk to find that Sid was gone. "Sid?" He started to walk over to the ladder, but stopped at a workbench when he felt something dripping on his arm. He looked up and Morgan's brain fell into his hands. He dropped it onto the floor with a startled yelp.

"I'm never gonna stop washing my hands," G told Sam and Kensi, who were looking on the computer.

"So," Kensi said, "the dummy tells us he's a demon hunter and we're perfectly cool with it. Then he vanishes and we find Morgan's brain."

"Look, Sid's on our side," G said, "I'm sure of it. My concern is why the demon rejected the brain. I thought Morgan was the smartest kid in school."

"He was," Sam said, "Look at his grades: all A's. He was even taking college classes…but he had all these sick days. He was off for nearly half the year!" He typed a little. "Look! I pulled up the school nurse's file and it has a note about him. 'In case of emergency, contact Dr. Dale Leggett, California Institute of Neurosurgery, Cancer Ward.' That's why he had all the headaches! He had brain cancer!"

"And whatever's out there needs a _healthy and intelligent_ brain," G reasoned.

Kensi sighed with relief. "I'm safe."

"So, it's gonna be looking for the smartest person around," G said. He and Kensi both looked at Sam.

Sam looked up from the monitor and noticed them staring at him. "What?"

"Yes," Owen told Marc, "if you calibrate the units of weight, then you can calculate the specific maximum velocity achieved before the point of impact."

"Wow, Director Granger," Marc said, "You're really smart! Could you do me a favor?"

"What would the demon want with me?" Sam asked.

"What's square root of 841?" Kensi asked him.

"29," Sam said, smiling proudly. He then realized what he'd done. "Oh, yeah."

"Don't worry, Sam," G said, "As long as you're with us, there's no way this demon can get what he wants."

Marc's guillotine sliced open a watermelon.

"Oh my," Owen said, "Are you sure there's no one else who can help you?"

"My assistant got sick," Marc explained, "Now get down on the floor, we don't have much time."

"This is ridiculous!" G said, "We can't just sit here and wait for him to come for us. We need to figure out who we're dealing with."

"I still vote dummy," said Kensi.

"No!" G insisted, "Now we've ruled out everyone in the talent show-"

"That's because they were all there," Sam corrected, "But that was before we found the brain."

"So it probably is one of them," G said. He then realized their dire situation. "And Granger doesn't know! He's with them all right now!"

"Granger can handle himself," Kensi said, "He's really…" _DING!_ "…smart!"

They all scrambled up and burst through the office doors, running down the hall. "GRANGER!"

Granger was strapped down to the guillotine bench. "Shouldn't it be aimed at my neck?"

"No," Marc said, "When your scalp gets cut open, the brains just come pouring out."

"What?" Granger immediately tried to get up, but bonked his head on the wood restraint.

Marc picked up a hatchet and got ready to cut the rope, but G jumped at him from behind. He knocked him off, but he pulled on his legs, making him lose his balance and fall down.

G came up to Granger and tried to pull him out. "Where's the key?"

"Marc has it," Granger informed her.

"G!"

G turned to see Marc swinging the hatchet at him. He ducked out of the way just in time and allowed Kensi a chance to jump Marc. Sam ran in and observed the fight. While Marc was pretty much pinned down, he ran over, picked up the hatchet, and started hacking away at the lock. G and Kensi pushed Marc into the disappearing box and locked it and then ran over and undid the restraints as soon as Sam had cut the lock open. Just when they thought they were home free, Marc started to punch his way out of the box, emerging in his demon form.

"I found you!" Sid jumped him this time, waving a knife at him. Sid started to stab him and finally knocked him onto the bench. Kensi picked up the hatchet and cut the rope, launching the guillotine on demon Marc and chopping off his head.

"I must say," Owen said, "to all of you…your timing is impeccable."

Sid got up. "Now for the big finish." He got ready to pierce the demon in the heart, but G stopped him.

"What are you doing?"

"It's not enough. You have to get 'em in the heart or they'll just come back."

"Let me," G insisted.

"I got it, thanks." Sid plunged the knife into the demon's heart and then stabbed it a few more times before stopping all movement.

G picked him up, laid the knife on the floor, and looked the wood plank that had once been alive. "It's over."

Before they could leave, the curtain opened. They all looked out at the audience.

Hetty just stared at them. "I don't get it."

**END EPISODE**


	10. Nightmares

Chapter 10: Nightmares

_G was walking through the Master's lair. Suddenly, the Master came up to him and grabbed him, leaning in to bite him._

"_NO! NO!"_

"No…"

"Yes."

"NO…"

"G!" Mason shook him awake. "You're gonna be late for work."

G opened his eyes. "Mason?"

"Come on, bud, we gotta go."

G turned over in his bed.

"Don't make me get the water bucket."

G's eyes snapped open. He looked at him. "You wouldn't."

Eric showed up at the door, drenched in water. "Oh, yes, he would." He ran off.

G quickly got up and started to get ready to go.

"Works every time," Mason said to himself.

"Now I don't want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable or anything," Kensi told G as they sat down in the squad room, "but what happened to your family again?"

"They died when I was young," G explained, "I never knew my dad but my mum was shot on the beach."

"Aw…" Kensi hugged her best friend. "You know, my parents got divorced a few years ago my Dad died and my mum's living an hour away."

"Kensi, that's terrible!"

"Not necessarily. My dad died and that's it. You never grew up with your parents."

"Well, why did your parents split up?"

"I don't know. They never told me. I never asked."

Kensi looked at her watch. "Oh no, we're gonna be late for a Hetty lecture!" She ran off.

"Yeah, that'd be tragic." G followed her.

Kyle was in this lecture, but Tor wasn't. Kyle was checking his hair with a compact mirror when the girl in front of him moved her work into the light to examine it. "Hey, doofus! You're in my light!"

Sam gasped. "Wendell!" he scolded, sarcastically, "Don't you know that Tor and Kyle are the center of the universe and that the rest of us merely revolve around them?"

"Well, why don't you revolve yourselves out of my light?" Kyle suggested.

G and Kensi rushed in at that moment.

"What'd we miss?" Kensi asked.

"Oh, Wendell was in Kyle's light," Sam explained.

"I'm so ashamed," Wendell said, sarcastically.

Kensi sat down, G sitting next to her. "Man, why is he so Miss Piggy-like? And Tor, too."

"I think it's the hair," G answered, "It weighs heavy on the cerebral cortex." Sam laughed.

"Hey, guys," Kensi whispered, "did Hetty give us a quiz yesterday?"

"We're doing active listening," Sam said.

"Right, great." 3…2…1… "What's that?"

"You know, where you put on your big ears and really listen to the other person?" Sam explained.

"Yeah, Hetty demonstrated it yesterday!" G added.

"With you!"

"She was wearing that fuzzy sweater?"

"Oh, the midnight blue angora! See? I was listening!" Sam and G both gave her looks.

Hetty came in. "Alright, take your seats and settle down. In a few minutes, we'll go over what we read about in chapter 5." Kensi cupped her hands over her ears. "Good, Kensi, that's the spirit!" G and Sam gave each other amused looks and then G noticed a little boy standing in the doorway, looking in at her. "OK, Wendell, will you please read the first 2 paragraphs on page 78?"

Wendell opened his book and then suddenly screamed and dropped it on the desk. There were tarantulas crawling out of it! Hetty and the agents closest to him all screamed.

"Sorry about that," the little boy whispered before walking off.

G, Sam, and Kensi met in Owen's office later.

"Granger?" G looked around for him.

Finally, he emerged from the stacks. "Sorry, I got lost in the stacks."

"Did you find anything on spiders coming out of books?" Kensi asked. She turned to Sam. "Big, hairy, crawly…" She started tickling his arm. Sam pulled away. "It's funny if you're me."

G turned to Owen. "Wendell had a…incident in class."

"Well, I didn't notice anything weird. Maybe you should talk to Wendell himself."

The boys and Kensi approached Wendell in the quad.

"Hey, Wendell," G said. He looked at him. "You OK?"

"Good talking to you, man," Kensi said. She turned to leave, but Sam pulled her back.

"Do you guys want something?" asked Wendell.

"We just wanted to talk to you about what happened earlier…with the spiders," Sam said, "I mean, has anything like it happened before?" Wendell nodded. "When?"

"For a long time actually."

"Ew!" Sam said, "You must hate spiders more than we do."

"I don't hate spiders, I love 'em. They hate me."

Kyle came up to them. "Hope you studied for the Evidence test, G." He walked off

"There's an evidence test?" G ran after him.

"What do you mean you love spiders?" asked Sam.

"I had the best collection in the tri-county area. Then my parents shipped me off to wilderness camp for a week. My brother was just supposed to maintain their habitats. Instead, he left their heat lamp on for the whole week. When I got back, they were all dead. That's when the nightmares started."

"Nightmares?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Hetty would ask me to read something and then I'd open the book and they'd all come crawling out."

"That's exactly what happened yesterday," Kensi said.

"I know."

G ran up to Kyle in the hall just outside the evidence locker. "Nobody said anything about a test!"

"Well, maybe if you'd attend a lesson once in a while, you would have known! Good luck." Kyle walked in.

G groaned desperately and reluctantly followed him. He walked around the locker and looked at the test. "At least I know my name." He put down his signature and then glanced at the clock. 11:20. He looked back at the test, but every word seemed like gibberish. He glanced back at the clock and stared at in disbelief. 12:10? He hurriedly started guessing the multiple choice answers but only put down 3 before the bell rang. 20 minutes had passed in what was really only 10 seconds! G groaned again and, before getting up, saw the little boy in the doorway again.

The little boy walked down the hall and came across 2 girls, who didn't seem to notice him.

"Well, good luck with this case," said one girl, "I'm gonna go take a…" She looked around and pointed to the door to the basement. "…_break_." She pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her purse and went down the stairs.

"You shouldn't go down there," the little boy said.

The girl closed the door behind her and came into the basement. It was weakly lit. She took out one of the cigarettes and tried to light it, when…

"Lucky 19!"

She twirled around to see a badly scarred man standing behind her with a huge club.

"I think they said room 3016," G told Owen as they walked down the hall of the hospital.

"Do you know the girl?" Owen asked him.

"Laura's nice enough," G answered, "Nobody saw who attacked her, though." Finally, he found the room they were looking for and walked in. "Hey, Laura."

Laura, who was badly wounded, looked at them and smiled. "Hey."

"I hope we're not intruding" Owen said, laying a bouquet of flowers on the table next to the bed.

"That's OK," Laura said, "I don't wanna be left alone."

G sat down next to her. "Can you tell us what happened? We wanna make sure it doesn't happen again."

"I went down to the basement for a smoke and there was someone there."

"Who?" Owen asked, "Can you describe them?"

Laura didn't say anything.

"It's OK," G said, "If you remember anything, you can tell us. Even if it may seem weird."

A nurse came in. "Hi, Laura." She then noticed G and Owen. "She needs her rest now." The 2 started to leave.

"'Lucky 19.'"

G whirled around. "What?"

"That's what he said before he attacked me," Laura explained.

"That's weird…uh, take care." With that, G left and Owen followed her. She met a doctor in the hall. "Is she gonna be OK?"

"She has a few shattered bones and some internal bleeding, but she'll recover," the doctor explained, "She got off easy. The first one's still in a coma."

"'First one'?" G asked.

"The first victim," the doctor said, walking over to another room, "They found him a week ago in even worse shape than the girl. If he doesn't wake up soon…" He trailed off. "Somebody's gotta stop this guy."

G crossed his arms. "Somebody will."

"Listen, I'm not afraid of him," a punk in the work hallway said, "If he wants to fight, I'm taking him down!"

"I'm just saying," Sam told Kensi, "Wendell had a nightmare and then it came true."

"It's weird, I'll admit," Kensi said, "but do you think that ties with Laura?"

"I don't know, maybe she dreamed about getting beat up. We can ask G when he gets back."

Just then, the punk's mother came into the hall. "Oh, there's my little baby!"

"Mom?" The punk tried to pull himself away from her as she pulled him in for a hug. "Mom, stop it!"

Sam quickly walked away, Kensi following him.

"It could be a coincidence," said Kensi, "You know, Wendell finds a spider nest or something and we all make a deal out of it because he had dreamt about it."

Kensi walked into the Ops Room first and the students inside immediately started laughing. She was confused and then turned around and saw Sam standing there in his underwear. "Sam! What happened to your clothes?"

"I-I don't know! I was dressed a minute ago! It's gotta be a dream." Sam pinched himself. "Ow! Wake up!" He pinched himself again. "Ow! Gotta wake up!" He then realized it wasn't a dream and ran from the room, screaming. Kensi, of course, chased after him.

Owen, meanwhile, was jumbling through some newspapers his office. "No, this can't be happening!"

G came into the office. "What's the word?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know if you found anything?"

"G, I…I can't read."

"What?" G ran over to him. "What are you talking about? You can read…like, 3 languages!"

"5, actually. But these words don't make any sense! It's gibberish!" He tossed the newspapers onto the table and started to walk off.

G then caught sight of a picture of the little boy he'd seen in one of the papers. "That's him."

Owen turned around. "Who?"

"The boy I was seeing around here." G picked up the paper and started to read it. "'12-year-old Billy Palmer was found beaten and unconscious after his kiddy league game this past Saturday. Doctors describe his situation as critical.' When was this published?" He looked at the date. "Last week! This is the kid from the hospital! The first victim!"

"And you've seen him around NCIS?"

"Yeah, after the spiders got Wendell and then when I didn't know a thing on the Evidence test. I thought it was weird seeing this kid around, but I forgot about it."

"This boy's been in a coma for a week! How can this be possible? Let me think, uh…there's astral projection! The theory that while one sleeps, they have an incorporeal body which can travel through time and space."

"Do you think that's what I'm seeing? His asteroid body?"

"_Astral_ body, and I don't know."

Kensi ran into the Office. "Have you guys seen Sam?"

"No," G said.

"Good, I was worried there for a minute." Just then, someone came in through the office doors. Kensi turned to look at them. "Dad?"

"There you are!" said Kensi's dad, "I've been looking all over for you."

"What are you doing here?" Kensi asked.

"I just thought I'd come talk to you."

"Oh, right." She looked at G and Owen. "Oh, uh, Dad, this is G Callen, my best friend, and Owen Granger, the Director. G, Owen, this is my dad, Donald Blye. He's a marine."

"Hi," said G.

"Uh, likewise," Owen said.

"Uh, I'll be right back." Kensi followed her dad out.

G handed Owen one of the papers. "Try to keep going, I'm gonna follow them." He ran out after his best friend. He kept to the shadows before finally coming to the perfect spot where he could stay out of sight of Kensi and Mr Blye and still hear what they were saying."

"Why are you here," Kensi said, "You're dead, you died" Her dad just looked at her for a second. "How are you here?"

"The reason I died, It was you." Kensi stared at him, wide-eyed, as he continued. "Having you, raising you, seeing you everyday. Do you have any idea what that's like?"

"What?" Kensi and G both said (G almost silently).

"You don't even see what's right in front of you, do you? Well, big surprise there, all you ever think of is yourself." It was then that Kensi started crying. "Now I don't think it's very mature, you crying when I'm just trying to be honest. Speaking of which, I don't really get anything out of these weekends with you, so what do you say we don't do them anymore?" He wrapped his arm around her and then walked off.

Kensi curled up in a ball and started to sob into her skirt.

G stared at his best friend, who looked like her dad had just died, and then noticed Billy standing not too far away.

"Red alert!" Sam yelled, running into the Office in his spare change of clothes, "Where's G?"

"Uh, he just stepped out," Owen said, " Kensi's father came by and wanted to talk to her."

Kensi then came in, blowing her nose in a tissue.

"Are you OK?" asked Sam.

"I-I'm fine. Did you tell him about how you got caught in Ops in your underwear yet?"

"I was getting to that!" Sam groaned. "It was a total nightmare."

_DING!_ "Yeah, your nightmare. Wendell had his incident with the spiders. G probably dreamt the evidence test. My dad just made my nightmare come true-"

"And I dreamt," Owen added, "that I got lost in the stacks and couldn't read. Of course!"

"Our dreams are coming true?" Sam asked.

"'Dreams'?" Owen quoted, "That would be a musical comedy version of this. Our nightmares are coming true."

"Why is this happening?" asked Sam.

"Billy."

"Well, that explanation was shorter than usual," said Kensi, "It's Billy! Who's Billy?"

"A boy in the local hospital," Owen explained, "He was beaten and he's in a coma. Somehow, I think he crossed over from the nightmare world he's trapped in."

"And he took a piece of the nightmare world with him," Kensi reasoned, "Thanks a lot, Billy!"

"How'd he do this?" Sam asked.

"Things like this are easy when you live on the Hell-Mouth," Owen said, "We have to stop it soon or everyone in LA is going to be facing their worst nightmares."

Heidi opened her locker door and looked at the mirror inside. She gasped when she saw that her hair was suddenly freakishly frizzy (like she had been struck by lightning, but tuned down a little). "This can't be happening! I was just at the salon!" She tried to run a comb through her hair to pull it down but it got stuck. She screamed, slammed the door shut, and ran off.

G walked into the empty gym and saw Billy sitting on one of the bleachers. He walked over to him and sat down next to him. "Are you Billy Palmer?" Billy nodded. "Why are you here? Did something bad happen to you after your last game?"

"I don't remember."

"Do you remember playing baseball?"

"Yeah. I was second base."

"Are you 'lucky 19'?"

Billy looked at him. "That's what he calls me. The Ugly Man. He wants to kill me. He hurt that girl."

"Why would he want to kill you?"

Billy looked behind him. "He's…"

"Billy, it's OK. Just tell me!"

"He's here!"

G spun around and saw the Ugly Man behind him with his club. He pushed Billy out of the way before he could hit either of them. Billy ran off and the Ugly Man pulled G's legs out from under him. He punched him in the face, knocking him back enough to give G time to limp out after Billy.

Owen, Kensi, and Sam were all looking for Miley together.

"G doesn't know this is happening," Owen said, "And given the sort of thing he tends to dream about, it's imperative that we find him."

"Let's split up," Kensi suggested, "It'll cover more ground and it'll be faster."

"Good idea," Owen said. He and Kensi went off in opposite directions.

"Faster, but not really safer," Sam said to himself once they were gone.

G slid a hockey stick through the handles of the gym doors to keep the Ugly Man from getting out and then pulled Billy away. "Who is he?"

"He's the Ugly Man."

"He's too strong! I can't fight him! We have to find my friends, they can help us." He ran off, Billy following him.

Sam came into Ops in time to see Tor being dragged off by some nerds.

"No, I'm not even on the chess team! And I don't wanna join!"

Sam giggled.

"Sam!"

Sam turned to where the voice was coming from. It was the basement. He reluctantly went over there, opened the door and walked down the stairs. "Hello? G? This isn't funny! I'm not scared!" Suddenly, a hand grabbed him and pulled him away.

Meanwhile, Kensi came to a vandalized alleyway. She looked at the floor below a flickering ceiling light and saw a chocolate bar. "Alright!" She picked it up. "Someone else's loss is my chocolate-y goodness!" She started to open the wrapper and then saw a Hershey's bar not too far away. "This is my lucky day!" She grabbed it and kept going.

G led Billy to a baseball diamond. "What? I was sure this led to Owen's office!" Billy looked at the other side of the fence. "They're just playing. What's wrong?"

"Baseball. When you lose, it's bad."

G was starting to put the pieces together. "Did you lose your game last week?"

"It was all my fault. I missed the last ball. I should've caught it."

"You missed one ball and the whole game was your fault? What, were you the only one playing? There wasn't 8 other people on the team that messed up with you?"

"He said it was my fault."

"Who? Billy, did he hurt you?"

"Let's just go find your friends."

"OK, I think we can go around the cafeteria." The Ugly Man then came in their direction and punched an agent out of the way. "Bad idea! Come on!" He pushed Billy through some bushes…and they emerged in a cemetery at night time on the other side. "What just happened?"

"Is this where your friends are?"

"No."

Sam came to a backstage area. "What?" He looked to see who'd pulled him and saw a show director. He looked down and saw that his clothes had changed to basketball uniform. He looked in the nearest mirror and saw that his hair had grown. He was dressed like Troy Bolton from High School Musical!

"Man, I thought you weren't gonna show!" said the director, "Vanessa is beside herself. I hope you're warmed up, it's a tough crowd out there. All the reviewers showed up." He pushed him onto the auditorium stage, just behind the curtain.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to present, 2 of the world's greatest singers," said the emcee, "Vanessa Hudgens and Sam Hanna!"

"I'm singing with Vanessa Hudgens?" Sam asked, panicking, "But I don't know which song we're singing and I…I never remember all the words anyway!"

"Too late now," said the director, "Good luck!" He ran off, then came back, pushed him through the curtain, and ran off again.

Sam bumped into Vanessa, who gave him a look. She smiled and then turned away. "Oh, god!" he said under his breath. Finally, the applause died down, and the song started.

" _We're soaring, flying, there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach…_"

Sam just stared out at the audience and didn't say anything.

Vanessa realized he wasn't going to sing and moved on. "_You know the world can see us, in a way that's different than who we are. _" She looked at Sam again.

"My turn?" Vanessa nodded. He looked back at the audience and felt the nervousness boiling up inside him. He started singing, but his voice was screeching again. "_ Creating space between us- _"

"BOO!" The audience started throwing stuff at him and he ran off the stage, hurriedly taking off the uniform and leaving on the floor.

Kensi came to a section of the hall where sheets of plastic were hanging from the ceiling. She then noticed the last one on the ground. "A Chocolate Hurricane!" She bent over just enough to pick it up. "These are the best!" She dropped her stash and started to eat it. "I haven't had one of these since my…" She started hearing an incessant giggling coming toward her. "…sixth…" She turned around. "…birthday!"

A shadow emerged on the plastic and a clown slashed through it with a knife.

Kensi screamed like a girl and ran away as fast as she could.

G looked around the cemetery. "I don't see the Ugly Man. Of course, I also don't know where the sun and the rest of the world went."

"Look at this." Miley turned to see what Billy was looking at and saw an empty grave. "I wonder who died."

"Nobody died." G whirled around and saw the Master. "What's the point of burying someone if they're already dead?"

"No…" G started backing up.

"So this is the Slayer. You're prettier than the last one."

"This isn't real! You can't be free!"

"You still don't understand, do you? I am free because you fear it. Because you fear it, the world is crumbling. Your nightmares become flesh. You have young Billy to thank for that."

G turned around but Billy was gone. He turned back to the Master. "No, this is a dream."

"A dream is a wish your heart makes." He sped over to him and grabbed him by the neck. "This is real life." He pulled G around so that his back was facing the empty grave. "Come on, Slayer, what are you afraid of?" He bared his teeth and dropped G into the empty grave. "How about being buried alive?"

Sam and Kensi met in the hall.

"Did you find G?" asked Kensi.

"No, but I had to sing. I'm a terrible singer under pressure!" He then noticed her traumatized condition. "What happened to you?"

"Remember my 6th birthday party?"

Sam smiled. "Oh, yeah. When the clown chased you and you got scared that you had to—oh."

"Come on!" Kensi dragged him away, but they started to hear the giggling and turned around to see the clown slicing through another sheet of plastic. They ran, right into Owen.

"No sign of G?" Owen assumed. He then noticed the clown and ran off with them.

When they reached the end of the hall, Kensi finally got tired of it and stopped, turning around and punching the clown (no rhyme intended). "You are a lousy clown! Your balloon animals were pathetic! Everyone can make a giraffe!" With that, she walked off with Sam and Owen close behind her. They went outside. "I feel good. I feel liberated!" Some kids ran past them.

"You seem to be the only one," said Owen, "Things are getting worse. In a few hours, reality will fold completely into the realm of nightmares. All we have to do to stop it is wake Billy, though."

"Well, we can't go without G," said Kensi.

"Agreed," Owen said, "But who knows where he might be?"

"Uh, allow me to point that…since when is there a cemetery across the street?"

They all looked up to see a portal to the cemetery G was in.

"And since when is it night over there?" asked Kensi.

They looked at each other and ran in.

"Whose nightmare is this?" asked Sam.

Owen came to the empty grave, which was now completely covered in dirt, and stopped running upon seeing the headstone.

Sam and Kensi stopped running and read the headstone, too:

G Callen  
1970-2000

"It's mine." Owen knelt down on G's grave. "I've failed in my duty to protect you. I should've been more cautious, taken more time to train you. But you were so gifted. However, the evil was so great…I'm sorry."

Suddenly, a hand punched through the dirt. Sam screamed, but it was G digging himself out.

G started brushing the dirt off his clothes and sighed with relief. "I thought I was dead."

"G," Sam said, "Your face…"

G felt his face and realized what had happened…he was a Vampire! "But, I…no…"

"G…" Kensi reached out for him.

"Don't look at me!" G said, whirling around.

"You never told me you dreamt of becoming a Vampire," Owen said.

"This isn't a dream."

"No, it's not. But we can turn it into one. This all comes from Billy. If we can make him wake up, all the nightmares will go away and reality will shift back into place. But we must do it now!"

G looked back at them. "Alright. Let's get going. I'm getting hungry." He walked off.

Kensi looked at him. "That's a joke, right?"

The group ran through the halls of the hospital, where pandemonium was reigning.

Owen stopped the first doctor he saw. "Is Billy still here?"

"My hands…" The doctor showed them his crippled hands, screamed, and ran off.

Kensi ran into Billy's room first. "What now?"

Owen bent over Billy's bed. "BILLY!" He started shaking the little boy. "BILLY!"

"That's not going to work." They all turned to see Billy's astral body in the doorway. "I can't wake up, I have to hide."

"Why?" Owen asked, "From what?"

"From him!" G said, noticing the Ugly Man coming down the hall. "I'll deal with him." He took off his jacket and walked down the hall. "Glad you showed up. I'm having a really bad day!"

"Lucky 19!"

"Ooh, scary! Face it, buddy. There are scarier things in life than you." He walked forward into the light to show him his Vamp face. "And I'm one of them." He jumped at him and kicked him in the face, knocking him back. He knocked G back and he slammed into the wall. G got up, kicked him in the gut, and punched him in the face, which made him fall backward into the wall just next to the door that led to Billy's room. He pushed him around the door and head-butted him into the wall, knocking him out. G turned to Billy. "He's not dead. You have to finish it." Billy looked at him and then slowly walked to the Ugly Man's unconscious body. "No more hiding." Billy looked at him again and then pulled the guy's face off, making a blinding light stream out.

Suddenly, Sam was back in his clothes, and G was human again. They looked around and noticed that the Ugly Man and Billy's astral body were gone, too.

Sam looked at Billy's coma body and saw him stirring. "Hey, he's waking up!" They all gathered around.

Billy woke up. "I had the strangest dream." He looked at them. "And you were in it. Who are you people?" They all smiled.

Just then, a guy came in, wearing a baseball cap and coaching uniform. "Oh! Billy's got visitors. I'm his kiddy league coach. I've been coming by everyday to see if he's gonna wake up soon. He's my lucky 19." Owen and G looked at each other and realized what was going on. "So how is he?"

"Awake," G answered, scooting out of the way to reveal Billy to his coach, "You blamed him for losing the game. So you caught up with him afterwards, didn't you?"

"What are you talking a-"

"You said it was my fault we lost." Billy sat up. "It wasn't my fault. There's 8 other players on the team who messed up with me. You know that." The coach started to leave, but Kensi and Owen blocked the door to the hall.

G looked at Billy. "Nice going, kid." Billy smiled at him.

"I still can't believe a kiddy league coach would do something like that," G told Sam and Kensi later that day as they were leaving work.

"Well then you obviously never played kiddy league," Kensi said, "I'm surprised it wasn't one of his parents."

"I'm just glad the guy's behind bars, where he belongs," said Sam.

"That was pretty heroic, Kensi," G said, "Blocking him and all."

"Oh, I just did what any girl would do," said Kensi, "But if you wanna label it heroic…" She was interrupted by a car honk.

G turned to see Mason waving at him not far away. "That's mason. I gotta go." He ran over to him and hugged him.

"Hey, how was your day?" asked Mason.

"Oh, you know, usual." They drove off.

Sam then pulled Kensi aside. "Personal question: when G was a Vampire, you weren't still attracted to him, right?"

"What? Sam, how can you say that? That's really bent! I mean-"

"Still dug him, huh?"

"I'm sick. I need help."

"Don't I know it," Sam said, walking off.

G looked back at Sam and then looked away, not noticing Kensi gazing at him as he walked off.

**END EPISODE**


End file.
